Something Still Worth Fighting For
by CrimsonShocker
Summary: Set six years after the death of Aizen. Toushirou lands himself in a game of cat and mouse that he never expected. Request for friend on Wordpress. On Hiatus.
1. Loss of Innocence

Title

Something Worth Fighting For

A/N: It's been a long time since I have done anything. I apologize. College is about to begin and, contrary to popular belief, I will actually have much more free time. I'm going to try a type of fan fiction that I haven't had the courage to try yet. This will be my first Bleach fan fiction. Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is extremely welcome., just attempt to lay off on the flames. I don't want to have to hurt someone. Anyhoo…enjoy.

Chap. 1: Loss of Innocence

_Innocence. What is this innocence that they all speak of. I don't remember the last time there was any form of innocence in this world. Ignorance? Plenty. Happiness? Enough. Innocence? Almost nonexistent. Yes, my thoughts are morbid and cynical. But with all of the turmoil surrounding this lifetime, to think anything different would be to put myself in utter denial of reality. It has been so long since I felt the tickle of innocence in my life. The memories of my childhood are almost too silly to recall now that I have lived and learned the hard ways. Hard ways…is that really what this has been? Probably not. To most other Soul Reapers I appear to have had it easy. The "boy genius" taken from the Soul Reaper Academy in early graduation. Immediately assigned to one of the 13 protection squads of the Seiretei. Not just immediately assigned, but immediately assigned as Captain of the 10 Guard Squad. Sure, it's a picture of success in early life, but it is much more taxing than any of the other subordinates could imagine. Sometimes I wish that Rangiku had never discovered me in the market place in Rukongai that fateful day. If only she had just left my change on the counter and minded her own business…Lord, what am I going on about? This pity party is anything but becoming of a captain—_

"Captain!"

_Speak of the devil_… Toushirou was roused from his thoughts by the object of his internal conversation. His buxom lieutenant scurried over to and stood beside his desk. "A penny for your thoughts, Captain," she said as she elbowed him gently in the shoulder, attempting to lighten the heavy tension surrounding the young captain.

"A penny, Rangiku? Really? Such incentive I can hardly decline…" He muttered sarcastically while rolling his eyes and leaning closer to the paperwork he had been working on prior to the internal conflict. His chin rested on his hand, firmly supported by his elbow on the desktop.

"Sorry, Captain, but you seemed rather lost in thought. I figured whatever was on your mind had to be considerably more interesting than the paperwork," Rangiku stated as she moved to recline on the blue couch in front of his desk.

"I wish I could disagree with you for the sake of disagreeing, but I am afraid your statement holds true." Toushirou sighed as he struggled to regain concentration on the task at hand. Finally resigning himself to defeat, he sank back in his chair, "Rangiku, come take care of this nonsense for me. I need to go take care of some things."

The busty blonde groaned in complaint but rose and made her way to the desk. "Fine, but you owe me."

The young captain stretched his tired muscles as he exited his office, breathing in the fresh air of the Soul Society_. Hmm… winter is getting close… _he thought as he walked along the path that weaved through the lodging areas of the seated officers. The air was cooling on his skin as a cold breeze blew in, a living testament to the approaching freeze. By his basic nature and instinct, Toushirou loved the frigidity of winter. How could he not? The fact that he wielded the most powerful of all the ice and water zanpakuto should have been enough of a sign to all.

As he continued down the wooden path, he noticed that many fellow Soul Reapers were retiring to their chambers. It was then that he noticed the orange sunset peaking in the distance. _Wow, it's already nightfall. I really lost track of time with all of that paperwork. _With that thought he changed his direction to lead himself to the gates of the Seiretei.

Upon reaching his destination he shunpo-ed himself up to the top of the wall, he seated himself with his legs dangling over the edge. Looking over the Rukongai at sunset was one of the more peaceful things to do at sunset. He smiled to himself as he felt another cold breeze graze over his skin, biting at it with a white-hot chill. It was one of the most satisfying feelings to the white haired captain. He allowed his mind to rest, but his mind would not allow _him_ to rest. His thoughts drifted to the upcoming assignment in two days. All he knew of it was that he and five other fellow seated officers would be traveling back to Karakura Town in the world of the living. Their mission: The summoning of Ichigo Kurosaki for Court Guard Assignment.


	2. All Too Familiar

Chapter 2: All Too Familiar

As he waited together with the others for the gate to open on the day of departure for Karakura Town, Toushirou felt a certain heaviness about him. He couldn't figure out what was causing him such anxiety. He had done this several times; dimensional travel was nothing new to him. He hadn't forgotten anything or anyone. As a precaution, he glanced through the small crowd to count heads. '_Vice Captain Matsumoto, Vice Captain Kuchiki, Vice Captain Abarai, Vice Captain Kira, and Captain Shihoin. That's a lot of people to be going for one person, but all are here.'_ Still, he could not shake this heavy feeling.

He didn't have to worry about it too much longer for the gate was activated and Head Captain Yamamoto began the commencement. "Captains and Vice Captains, You have all made this journey at least once in your lifetime so I trust that you are familiar with the procedures and the traditions. You are to arrive in Karakura Town without any disturbance and disperse into your groups from there. I will now give you your assignments."

Everyone paid close attention to his words as they checked their belongings and made sure to not forget anything, quietly whispering about the reason for splitting up into groups to retrieve one person. "Captain Yoruichi Shihoin, Vice Captain Izuru Kira, and Vice Captain Renji Abarai. You are to proceed to Kisuke Urahara's residence and deliver him this letter of summons. Captain Toushirou Hitsugaya, Vice Captain Rangiku Matsumoto, and Vice Captain Rukia Kuchiki. You are to go directly to the home of Ichigo Kurosaki and inform him of his summons. All of you are to report back to headquarters via. Soul Pager by midnight tonight. Good luck and safe journey to all of you."

Murmurs and whispers broke out amongst the group. "Yamamoto never previously said anything about seeking out Urahara…" … "So that's why he wants all of us to go…" … "I wonder what he is being summoned for…"

As the murmurs died down, Yamamoto began to enter the crowd. None really took notice until he reached his target. He rested his hand on the young, white-haired captain's shoulder, jarring him slightly. Toushirou was not expecting to be approached by his Head Captain, but turned to face him respectfully. "Yes, Head Captain Yamamoto?"

The bearded captain smiled softly at him and pulled him aside, "I need a private favor from you."

Toushirou was floored and a bit nervous that Yamamoto was asking for a favor from him, but was curious nonetheless. "Yes Sir, what is it that you require?"

The elder man pulled a small envelope from his haori and discreetly placed it in the palm of Toushirou's hand. "This is a third summons, but not a public one. I want you to tell no one of this one and deliver it personally and privately to the recipient. My reasoning behind it is that if word were to get out that I was requesting or even allowing the contents of it to come to pass that it would cause quite a stir in both the Seiretei and the world of the living. I would much rather have everything set in stone and in working order before I announce my decisions. The name of the recipient will be visible only to you and said person. You will find it on the back of the envelope near the seal. I trust that you will not have a problem with this?"

Toushirou shook his head slowly, though still slightly puzzled, and placed the letter deep in his own haori. Before turning away to return to the group, he met eyes with the Head Captain and asked one more question, "Sir, if you don't mind me asking, why did you choose me for this task and not someone you might trust more?"

Yamamoto smiled and placed his hand once again on the younger captain's shoulder. "I entrust you with this because I believe that you are one of the people in this group that is most familiar with the recipient. I also trust that you are the most likely in this group to keep your mouth shut long enough to get the job done as directed. Is that reason enough or do I need to continue?"

Toushirou quickly replied, "Oh, no, Head Captain Yamamoto, that is plenty reason enough. Thank you and I will do as directed."

Yamamoto smiled again and answered, "No, Captain Hitsugaya, thank you."

With that, the older Soul Reaper turned and walked back to his post as the younger Soul Reaper returned to the group. Rangiku immediately bounded over to her captain, "Ooh…what did he say??" she prodded.

Toushirou stuck to orders and glared at her brashness. "I am not permitted to say."

At those words the group quickly turned to him and continued to interrogate him. Toushirou could feel his irritation building. Suddenly, as his anger peaked, the air grew sharply colder and thinner in response to his sudden change of mood. This caused everyone to retreat slightly at the acute reaction. Rukia spoke, "What is it, Toushirou? What's the matter?"

His blazing jade eyes pierced through the faces of all that questioned him as his lips parted to respond in an icy tone, "He pulled me aside and spoke to me privately for a reason. If he wanted all of you to know, he would have announced it to the group. Now if you would focus on the tasks you were given we could end this nonsense and get on with this mission. The longer we stand here the longer this will take to complete. Now move."

All parted for him, none wanting to cross him any further in the mood he was currently in for fear of a good tongue lashing and hypothermia.

As the group proceeded through the shimmering gate into the tunnel that led to the world of the living, all were silent in reverence to those who had fallen in previous transitions through worlds. It was in this silence that Toushirou decided to look down at the name on the back of the letter. As his eyes scanned the thick paper, they widened as the glowing gold letters materialized into an all too familiar name, _**Karin Kurosaki**_.


	3. Unwelcome Memories

Chapter 3: Unwelcome Memories

As they broke through the barrier between the two dimensions, each officer dropped to the roof of a tall granite building overlooking Karakura Town. "Not much has changed, has it?" Renji stated.

Many nodded and murmured in agreement. Others looked around in curiosity and caution, having not been there. Toushirou closed his eyes and breathed in the hot air. _Great…summertime_. He thought to himself. _Oh well, at least we return to Soul Society in a few days._

The humidity was mildly irritating and the hot breeze succeeded in putting him in a testy mood. He had to admit that the night sky was quite breathtaking though. The bright yellows and whites of the billions of little stars dancing and twinkling as they swam around in the sea of navy and cobalt evoked memories that Toushirou could do nothing but push away and shake off for the sake of the mission. He couldn't afford to get all emotional staring at the lunar phenomena.

He shuddered as he shook the memories and thoughts from his mind and fell in step beside his Vice Captain, watching as the fiery red head of Renji bobbed in front of him, an unspoken taunt to they young white-haired captain's lack of height. In truth he had grown considerably, but he couldn't hope to surpass Renji by any means. Renji was a monster of a man, standing at 6'4", as anyone could see in the height difference between him and his walking partner Rukia. Toushirou knew better than to ever get his hopes up to come anywhere near matching heights with that Soul Reaper. He supposed that he could settle for his current 5'7" as it was a considerable change from his previous 5'2". Though he at least hope to catch up to Rangiku's 5'9" sooner than later, even though he knew that he was significantly younger than everyone in this group.

Toushirou had come to terms with the fact that he would never be considered 'tall' or 'built'. He knew that he would never have broad shoulders or an extremely masculine body. If he kept his fingers crossed he might begin to look closer to his age. Though by the time that happened it wouldn't be beneficial to look his age any longer. For the time being he was a seasoned warrior stuck inside a teenage body for God knows how long.

As he concluded his thoughts, he noticed that the group was surprisingly quiet. He turned subtly to his Vice Captain and inquired, "Why is everyone so quiet? It's not as if we could be seen or heard by anyone else walking these streets? Our soul pagers would be going crazy if there was danger around, so why the silence? Shouldn't you all be carrying on about something or another?"

Matsumoto grinned and rolled her eyes. "If you weren't so lost in your own thoughts you would realize what the problem was. Check the weather."

Toushirou diverted his attention to his senses and blushed slightly as he noticed a considerable difference in temperature surrounding the group. "Oops…" he said, not being able to think of anything else to say.

"Why do you care so much that we are quiet? Any other time you would be ordering it or begging for it."

Toushirou sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he looked back up at the sky and replied in a soft, but convicted tone, "When you're quiet I can hear my own thoughts. I can't afford to do that now."

Rangiku frowned for a moment before turning back to her captain. "What has you so concentrated on edge anyway?"

Toushirou breathed a heavy breath and closed his eyes for a moment as he shuddered once more at thoughts that were anything but what he needed right now. "Just unwelcome memories…" he whispered more to himself than to her.

She heard him nonetheless and, knowingly, she nodded and sighed as she tapped Rukia on the shoulder and proceeded to clear the air around them. Toushirou made a mental note to thank her later as they reached their division point.

As the light post came into view, Renji, Yoruichi, and Izuru were already discussing the directions to Urahara's shop and Rukia was pointing the way to the Kurosaki residence. Yoruichi, the designated leader of the group, pulled to the forefront, "Okay all, this is where we part. We're all going meet at Urahara's shop tomorrow at 3:00p.m. Don't be late for any reason other than a Hollow attack. Don't forget to report in to Seiretei at midnight in two hours. Captain Hitsugaya, I'll page you when we arrive at the shop, you page me when you arrive at the Kurosaki's. Be safe everyone."

And with that, her group turned and began to follow her down the dimly lit road.

As Toushirou realized that it was his turn to make announcements, he breathed a sigh and turned to the awaiting faces. "Okay, we're going to the Kurosaki's. You are all aware that Isshin, Ichigo's father is a former captain of my squad, the 10th Division. Furthermore, You know the reasons for summoning Ichigo. Kuchiki, you'll break the news, let him down gently, and explain it to him. Matsumoto, you will handle the siblings. I'll explain it to Former Captain Kurosaki. Then I'll do my private favor for Yamamoto and we will find a place to sleep for the night, checking in with the Seiretei at midnight. Any questions?"

Heads shook in reply as Toushirou turned to lead the way to the Kurosaki residence. _This is going to be a long night_.


	4. Way Ahead of You

Chapter 4: Way Ahead of You

In a matter of minutes the small group found themselves on the steps of the Kurosaki residence. All of the widows were dark, save one small window that Rukia pointed out as Ichigo's room. "Okay, here goes nothing," were the words that left Rangiku's mouth. With that thought, Rukia's hand went foreword to press the doorbell lightly, but before she had the chance to touch it, the door opened from the inside …

The room was dark, just how she liked it. She watched as passing car headlights reflected across the crimson red, glossy walls as they drove down the street next to her room. She sighed as she sunk into her silky black bed sheets, letting her wrists come to rest on the deep red, suede comforter that covered her body from the cool air that emanated from the air conditioning vent directly above her bed. She inhaled the soft scent of jasmine-vanilla candles that she had recently extinguished upon retiring to bed. She stared at her black ceiling, trying to will her restless mind to sleep. Try as she might she could not find rest, only succeeding in giving herself a head ache from trying to rest her eyes. _Tonight's just not the night for sleep_, she decided, pushing herself into a sitting position in her bed and reaching for a rubber band on her nightstand, glancing at the clock as it read 10:37p.m. _Yup, it's still early enough…_ she thought to herself.

After using the rubber band to work her hair into a neat bun at the nape of her neck, she gently tucked the shorter layers of hair behind her ears. Her hair had grown lighter with time and was now a rich, chocolate brown, which made her twin sister Yuzu extremely jealous for her own hair was still the same sandy brown it had always been. But Karin loved her sister's hair for it suited her face well.

Giving up on sleep completely, Karin threw back her covers and stepped out of bed, her feet, clad in white no-show sock, meeting the cool hard wood floor below. Walking to her closet, she grabbed a pair of tight black leggings that hit just below the knee and stepped into them quickly, pulling on a pair of red athletics shorts over them. She removed her baggy soccer jersey and replaced it with a black fitted t-shirt with a red K on the front. _I really need to get some new clothes_… she thought as she rolled her eyes at her attire. Oh well, they'll do for tonight.

She scampered over to her dresser and put on an extra layer of Jasmine Orient deodorant before grabbing her keys and making her way out of her bedroom door. As she walked down the dark hallway she noticed that the light in her brother's room was still on and decided to check in on him. She taped lightly on the door. "Yeah?" answered Ichigo's voice from behind the cherry wood door.

"Can I come in?" Karin inquired softly, so as not to wake any other members of the dysfunctional family.

There was a moment of silent pondering before he answered, "Yeah, sure."

She slowly pushed open the door, squeezing through the tight opening, careful not to open it further to avoid creaking hinges. Her father was a very light sleeper. She padded lightly into the room, noticing her brother's back to the door, sitting at his desk, a book in his hand, obviously concentrating on the plot. She smirked at the sight and walked softly over to sit on his bed and observe him until he was ready.

A few moments later he closed the book and set it next to his desk lamp, swiveling in his chair to face her, reclining with his feet propped on the desk and his hands behind his head. "Sorry, I wanted to finish the chapter. Is everything okay?"

She smiled at his concern, "Yeah, sorry to disturb you. I just couldn't sleep."

He looked at her slightly concerned, "Is everything okay? Did you have a nightmare or something?"

She shook her head reassuringly and replied, "Nah, just restless. You know how it is. Too much on your mind and can't seem to completely relax…"

"And you end up giving yourself a head ache for trying to go to sleep…" he offered.

"Exactly." She said, "You know me too well."

"That and I understand where you're coming from. I went through years of it when I became a Substitute Soul Reaper." He stated before looking her up and down, "You going somewhere?"

She rolled her eyes and jingled her keys in front of him, grinning at his cocked eyebrow response, "No, Ichigo, I'm just walking around, carrying my keys for pleasure."

He smirked in return, "Where are you really going?"

"Out for a run," she said, "I was just checking to see why you were still up. I didn't know if you were in the same boat as I was with the not-being-able-to-sleep thing. Guess not. Looks like you were just enjoying a good book. What are you reading anyway?"

He turned to pick up the book and held it out in front of her; "It's called What My Mother Doesn't Know by Sonya Sones. It's pretty good, my philosophy teacher told our class to read it."

Karin cocked a brow and rolled her eyes, "Trust you to be reading a middle school reading level book."

He laughed and said, "Blame my professor. She recommended it. Anyway, enjoy your midnight jog."

"Oh, I will," she said, "They're my favorite kind."

And on that note she stood and walked to his door, "Goodnight, kid!" he called after her.

"G'night, Ichi." She replied closing the door tightly behind her.

She crept silently down the hall, tiptoeing to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, tucking it under her arm as she headed for the front door. She stepped into her black, no-tie jogging shoes, wiggling her feet to get them all the way in, hating how the heels always wanted to bunch in the wrong places when she didn't put them on right. Walking it off, she put her thin lanyard cord of keys around her neck and unlocked the front door. She checked to make sure no one was awake as she slowly pushed the door open, only to collide with a warm body…

The small group was shock, jaws dropping when the door opened outward as if pushed by some phantom. It knocked painfully into Rukia, throwing her slightly. The figure turned and, with a look of shock and amazement said frantically, "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" As the girl turned to face the group, only Rukia distracted her. "I'm so sorry I didn't…see…you…. there…"

Realization slowly dawned on the young woman's face, "OH MY GOD, RUKIA!?"

Rukia slowly seemed to realize something herself and her jaw dropped in surprise as she threw herself into an embrace with the woman. "Oh my goodness, I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been? You were not who I expected to run into tonight at all."

As the two had their small interlude, Rangiku and Toushirou watched with curiosity. As the two didn't seem to be stopping, Rangiku took the liberty of clearing her through just loud enough to get the couple's attention. Rukia suddenly remembered the rest of her group and turned to Karin. "You remember Vice Captain Matsumoto and Captain Hitsugaya, don't you?"

The girl's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness, of course. Rangiku and Toushirou, how could I not have noticed you before? I'm so sorry to freak you out; I couldn't sleep so I was just heading out for a nighttime jog. What brings you all out here? Is this all of you that came?"

Toushirou watched as the girl shifted her weight from foot to foot messing with the heels of her shoes. He wondered who this girl was, for he didn't recognize her as a Kurosaki. This girl was about 18 or 19 years old, 5'5", curvy, and very pale. Her hair was a deep brunette, but what got his attention the most was a shock of bright cherry red hair that was half hanging in her face and half tucked behind her right ear. As she turned her head he noticed that there was a smaller chunk of equally red hair on the opposite side of her left part. Who was this girl?

He didn't notice that he was staring until he was asked a question that jolted him back to Earth. "What was it that you guys needed, Toushirou?"

She had just called him by his given name. That in itself was odd. Anyone that knew him knew to call him Captain Hitsugaya. "We're here to see the Kurosaki family. We have urgent summons from the Seiretei."

The girl's eyes widened, "Ooh, sounds pretty important. Want me to go wake everyone up? I'm sure Ichi's still awake."

She turned and reopened the door, holding it open so the others could enter, turning the kitchen light on as she went. "You can have a seat. We'll all be out in a second." She said before stepping to steps to the right, leaning her head out and yelling, "DAD! YUZU! ICHIGO! GET UP! WE HAVE COMPANY!!"

_That was subtle_…Toushirou thought to himself.

He didn't have time to think much more as lights began to turn on and doors began opening and closing. "Karin Kurosaki, what do you mean by this!"

Now 18 year old Yuzu entered rubbing her eyes, wrapped in a pink bathrobe over her white PJs, her bone straight sandy blonde hair lying limp on her shoulders as she continued to rub the sleep from her eyes. She plopped onto the couch without ever looking straight at anyone and let out a small shriek when she finally did. "Oh my goodness, I didn't think there really was someone here. I thought she was just being rude and peppy like Dad."

Karin snorted, "You compared me to that bearded weirdo? Thanks a lot. Hey Ichigo! Sorry to run out then right back in but these friends of yours were at the door. Kinda pummeled into Rukia with the door. Sorry."

The tall, red-haired Substitute Soul Reaper stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the sight of the group gathered before him. "You all…wait…why? Oh to hell with it."

After stuttering a small broken sentence out he ran to Rukia and embraced her tightly. "What are you all doing here!? Is something wrong? Did something happen in the Soul Society? Is something bad about to happen?"

Karin was rolling her eyes at this point; "You do realize that if something was really wrong that they wouldn't have just come knocking on our door at night. They would have used the window. And they wouldn't have knocked."

Toushirou was starting to realize something. This girl and Ichigo looked a lot alike. Could she be…?

"Okay, Karin, I get the picture. Now what seems to be the—"

"GOOD MORNING, ICHIGO!"

All people could see was Ichigo side step and allow his father to come barreling through, miss him and take an effortless punch square in the face from Karin, who was now seated at the table, her chin resting in the palm of her hand supported by her elbow.

_So this is Karin Kurosaki…My how different she is from the last time I saw her…well, it has been six years. I'm not sure why I expected any different_—

"Deep in thought again, Captain?" Rangiku interrupted his thoughts again.

As he shook himself from his reverie, he looked up to see none other than his former captain, Isshin Kurosaki staring directly at him. "Whoa, hey there Toushirou! Long time no see." He said, becoming serious all of a sudden, "It must be pretty important for them to zap you all the way out here. Last time you were out here was when those filthy arrancar were invading the city. What seems to be the issue now?"

The young Soul Reaper Captain stood and walked to Ichigo. He pulled the letter of summons with his name on it out of his haori. He slowly handed it to him and said; "Vice Captain Kuchiki will explain it to you."

Rukia rose and escorted Ichigo into his room to speak with him about it privately. The group heard him muttering, "A Vice Captain, eh? Wow, you really moved up…"

As they heard the door shut tightly behind the two, Toushirou sat back down at the table across from Isshin. "So what's this all about?" The Former Captain inquired.

Toushirou took a breath and explained, "The Head Captain Yamamoto has summoned Ichigo to the next Seated Officer Meeting in the Seiretei. They wish to offer him a spot as a Vice Captain in the 5th Division Squad of the 13 Protection Squads. They are hoping that he will accept this offer considering the fact that the 5th Division Squad lost both its Captain and Vice Captain in the war against Aizen…"

Toushirou's voice faded out as he fought the anxiety that was taking over…_Why do I still feel like this?...Why can't I just move on? … I thought I was past this_…

He fought to not lose his composure and, clearing his throat, he moved forward. "He is one of the most talented young Soul Reapers in the history of Seiretei and they don't want to see a potential like that wasted."

Isshin smiled slightly, "There was only one other prodigy of this time. You know who I'm talking about, Toushirou Hitsugaya. How old were you when you became a Captain?"

"It would be considered 15 years in the World of the Living, Sir." Toushirou hesitantly replied.

He watched as the two Kurosaki girls' jaws hit the floor. Karin was the first to speak, "Damn, why didn't you tell me that the last time that I saw you, Toushi? Maybe I wouldn't have made fun of you about being in Elementary School…"

His mind stumbled slightly, thrown a bit at the new pet name; "I guess it wasn't on my mind at the time…"

As soon as there was a moment of silence, the air began to feel heavier. You could almost cut the tension with a knife. Finally Isshin exclaimed, "Hey, why all the glum faces? Aren't you all supposed to be a bunch of party animals nowadays?"

Rangiku was the first to giggle. "Well, I try not to be when I'm on the job…"

As she and Isshin began to laugh, Karin rolled her eyes and rose from the table. "You guys are too much for me. I'm going check on Ichigo and see how he's taking the news."

As she walked off Toushirou remembered the second part of his mission. Rising from the table, he waited a moment before starting after the dark haired girl.

She walked down the hall, eager to see her brother's reaction to the news that he was needed in the Soul Society. _Does this mean that he will become a full Soul Reaper?_ She thought to herself excitedly. _But wait, does that mean that he's going to go and never come back?_

She reached his room and grasped the doorknob firmly, turning it slowly so as not to disturb the occupants of the room. She slowly pushed the door open enough to stick her head in and get a peak. As soon as she looked she immediately closed the door as quickly, but as quietly as she could. Mentally she wished that she could claw her eyes out. _Why do they have to do this now? Has my brother lost his mind? And they didn't even lock the door! Oh God…that is going to be stuck in my mind for the rest of my life_…

As she tried to clear her mind, her concentration was interrupted by a familiar voice. "Karin, can I have a word with you?"

Her eyes shot open as she turned to the voice. None other than Toushirou Hitsugaya was standing in front of her. She attempted to peel herself off of her spot against the wall as she nodded and walked him outside in front of her house.

The moon was completely out and the stars were slightly less obvious under its hazy glow. The neighborhood was very quiet. The air was warm and mildly humid, just enough to be slightly uncomfortable and place a light sheen of sweat on both of their bodies. She sat down on the front step, beckoning him to join her. As they sat side by side, they allowed themselves to think back to that crazy day six years ago that formed a strange and humorous friendship between the two of them. Just as Toushirou thought that the silence was going to kill him, Karin shattered it into a thousand pieces. "You've changed a lot, Toushi. You were the last person that I expected to see. Truthfully, I half expected to never see you again…"

He frowned slightly and retorted, "Sorry to disappoint you…"

She giggled for a moment and punched him in the shoulder, catching him completely off-guard. "No, you dummy, it's quite a treat actually. I've missed you."

He turned to look at her and met her eyes, realizing just how dark they really were, almost obsidian. So much like…._NO._ "You have…?"

She grinned and nodded, "Mhmm. I used to think about you a lot. There were so many questions that you left unanswered and I was twelve and curious and didn't like not knowing everything there was to know. You were the most mysterious one and that drove me crazy not being able to understand you. It reminded me of myself. It was frustrating."

He nodded and allowed another moment of silence to pass before changing the subject to one of the more serious nature. "Before I came here, my Head Captain pulled me aside and asked me to do a favor for him. I couldn't refuse, being his subordinate. But it was a private favor and none of the others that accompanied me know of this secret task I was given."

He took this time to remove the second letter from his haori. Grasping it in his hand he finished, "I'm not sure what it says because I did not read it, but I have my ideas. All I know is that it is a letter of summons to the next Captains Meeting in the Seiretei and that it is addressed to you."

With that, he placed the letter in the open palm of her hand and waited for her to read it, anxiously awaiting the contents himself. As she lifted the seal and removed the note inside he watched her eyes scan the page as she began to surprisingly read it out loud.

"Ms. Karin Kurosaki, It is with great honor and pride that I invite you to attend the upcoming Captains Meeting this following Friday. If you choose to attend you will be escorted by none other than – yours truly—Captain Hitsugaya. This is a serious affair and will be treated as such. The reason for your summons is directly related to your brother's summons. If your brother chooses to travel to the Seiretei and become a full Soul Reaper and accept the position as Vice Captain of the 5th Division Squad, you will be requested to fill his position in the World of the Living as a Substitute Soul Reaper. If you choose to honor this request, you will report to the Soul Society and undergo training from three of our finest masters in kido, zanpakuto, and combat. I look forward to seeing you at the upcoming meeting. Until then, be safe and well. –Head Captain Yamamoto."

Everything fell silent for a moment. You could have heard a pin drop. Toushirou had a million thoughts flying through his head, but only one really stood out. _He must really see something in her to go through all of this trouble to meet with her and try to make her into a Soul Reaper. Wow…I really didn't see this coming._

Karin's breathing had changed and he glanced at her to gauge her reaction. Slowly a smile spread across her face. Confused, Toushirou spoke, "What is it…?"

She started to giggle, shocking him further and finally said, "Normally I would be jumping at this but…I already beat him to it."

Yet another moment of silence followed as Toushirou the meaning of what she had just said sink in...


	5. A Cry in the Night

Chapter 5: A Cry in the Night

He was pulled from his wandering mind as he began to realize that she was giggling at him. "You do that a lot, don't you?" she asked jokingly.

He frowned indignantly, "No, I most certainly do not. I find it insulting that you would assume that I could be so careless and inattentive to situations like this."

The giggling stopped, but muttered softly and almost inaudibly, "Liar…"

His eyes shot to her and he immediately went on the defensive, "What was that you just said?"

She folded her hands together in her lap and sat up straight and proper, "Nothing, Captain Toushi, nothing at all…just talking to myself."

Exasperatedly, he rolled his eyes and sighed, "You know very well that my title is Captain Hitsugaya, and what is this about already beating Yamamoto to it?"

It was her turn to roll her eyes as she looked out at the still darkening sky. _It's probably about 11:30 or so… so much for my night jog_…she thought to herself.

When Toushirou realized that she didn't seem to be making a move to answer his question, he growled slightly and decided to try once again, "Are you deaf, Karin? I asked you why you think that you are already one step ahead of Yamamoto!"

She smirked slightly, having let her mind wander and forgotten about the question at hand. Preparing to answer with a smart aleck remark, she turned to look at the young captain sitting beside her. Noticing that his fists were balled up and jaw was stiffly set, eyes blazing, she decided that it was probably best to just answer instead of pissing him off further and totally ruining his night. She took a breath and casually stated, "Because I'm already a Soul Reaper."

Toushirou allowed a tiny gasp to escape his lips as his eyes widened considerably and he questioned frantically, "What is that supposed to mean? How can that be? You haven't died!"

She leaned back into the step above her and crossed her ankles out in front of her, "It wasn't hard, I started having strange dreams and I figured that they meant something profound. Still not sure what, but I'm sure they do. Anyway, I went to see Urahara about it and he told me that those were dreams in which my zanpakuto was trying to make contact with me. He told me that it was very rare that someone living could make contact with his or her zanpakuto, especially since I was not in spirit form at the time. So to test the theory out, he told me to swallow a soul pill, finding that when I did and my soul separated from my body, that it wasn't just a normal human soul, but a full Soul Reaper decked out in that black robe thing you all wear with a sword on my back…quite comfortable actually. I think that he was a bit weirded out but pretended like it was nothing out of the ordinary. My dad knows too, but I don't think Ichi or Yuzu does. Dad told me to keep it to myself for a while and see how things progressed with Urahara training me. He said that it was very rare that people became Soul Reapers without having someone lend them their powers, but that it was possible."

Toushirou was speechless, grabbing for something to reply, "But…how can…how can you be so casual and laid back about this? This is so serious."

She smiled and stood, motioning for him to follow her. As he stood to make after her, she led him down the path that wove around her house. As he began to fall into step beside her, he heard her snicker before breaking into a sprint. Rolling his eyes he began to run after her, careful to stay slightly behind her to watch her every move. He wasn't ready for more surprises.

He noticed that she was slowly picking up speed, becoming difficult for him to keep up with without using shunpo. His breathing picked up as it finally dawned on him what she was doing. She was proving something to him. Proving to him that she was indeed learned in the ways of a Soul Reaper. She was going to have the audacity to challenge him in shunpo. He was almost amused at these antics. As her speed continued to increase, he could feel them slowly transferring into shunpo, the wind bighting at their skin like needles at the velocity of their bodies cutting through the air around them. _So, she wants to play_… He thought to himself, biting back a grin from sliding onto his face.

Soon he realized that he was almost at the extent of his shunpo abilities before he began to pass her. He heard her snicker beside him but was startled when he felt her warm hand close around the cool skin of his forearm, pulling him back slightly. He let out a tiny gasp of surprise at the contrast of temperatures, not expected their heats to be so different. "What was that for?!" he asked irritated, slightly bothered at being thrown of balance and affected so highly by her touch.

She rolled her eyes in reply and said, "Take a look around you. Look familiar?"

He sighed in frustration before glancing around, his eyes widening suddenly as he realized their location. This is where they had first really spoken, six years ago, when he had first realized that there was something different about this girl. _Why did she bring me back here?_ He wondered, leaning against the railing on the side of the road.

He took a deep breath, not allowing his thoughts to get the better of him. He could not afford to lose his composure right now. _Why does she continue to make it harder for me to keep forgetting? _

Shaking his thoughts away from him, he turned to her before noticing that her hand was still around his forearm. Panicking slightly at the unfamiliar contact, he cleared his throat. Realizing the predicament, she snapped back to reality with an "Oh, sorry…" before releasing her hold on his right arm.

They stared out at the night quietly for a moment, feeling the hot breeze lick at their skin uncomfortably. She finally decided that it was the time to speak, breathing deeply before uttering her words, "This is where I first realized that something was different about me. Something that went beyond just seeing ghosts and getting attacked by hollows. Not only was this the place that I realized it, but it is also the place that I came to accept it."

Toushirou found himself listening intently as she told her story, intrigued by the way that everything had played out. She continued, "That day that I stopped you from leaving when your Soul Pager went off, that was when I realized that I couldn't run from this anymore. I am different, and I can't change that no matter what I do. I was born like this for a reason and, like my brother; I have been sensitive to the Spirit World for a long time. He found his reason when he met Rukia six years ago, secretly deciding that being a Soul Reaper was what was in the cards for him. I didn't have that choice though. This kind of just happened to me, whether I liked it or not. Not that I'm complaining. I think that being a Soul Reaper is pretty cool. I enjoy helping souls and killing hollows. Don't give me that look. Did you really think that I would just sit around and let these powers go to waste?"

Toushirou didn't even realize that a look of horror had come across his face in the previous moments. "Fighting hollows?! Why would you do something so reckless without aid? You can seriously injure if not kill yourself. How can you be so foolish?"

She glanced over at him and met his hesitant eyes. Cocking an eyebrow at him, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly in a mini grin. "You really shouldn't underestimate me, you know. I'm better than you think."

Sighing, he stood upright and it was back to business from there, "We need to get to Urahara's Shop. We're supposed to all meet up there at midnight. I assume that it is getting close to that time."

She glanced at her digital watch and raised her eyebrows tilting her head, gritting her teeth at him. "I hate to break it to you, but we're late."

His eyes widened and he impulsively grabbed her arm, startling her slightly. He looked at the watch and noticed that it read 12:05a.m. "Shit…" he muttered under his breath, eliciting a snicker from her, "We have to go NOW."

And with that he grabbed her other wrist and dragged her behind him, "We're gonna shunpo there." He warned as he began the technique, Karin falling into step beside him.

Within moments, they had reached the doors of the shop, sliding them open quietly to sneak into the meeting. Hoping to be unnoticed, but highly unsuccessful, he cringed slightly as all eyes in the room turned to face the two of them. Yoruichi's irritated eyes could be seen across the room. But it was Urahara that greeted the two of them warmly, "Well, if it isn't Karin and Toushirou…What took you guys so long? We were beginning to get a little worried about you. But don't' worry, you haven't missed anything. We were just chatting, waiting for you to arrive. But now that you're here, we can start the meeting. Okay, let me open the communications portal and we can begin."

Toushirou breathed a sigh of relief at the casual greeting. But he didn't get to comfortable; for he knew the tongue-lashing he would receive from Yoruichi later that night. Taking a seat beside Rangiku, he whispered an apology over his shoulder at her. She simply grinned and shrugged her shoulders, signifying that it didn't matter to her if they were late. As the portal began to open and Yamamoto's face came into view, Toushirou tensed slightly, wondering what he would ask them, not really prepared with any kind of report. "Good evening Captains, Vice Captains, and Special Guests. How have things fared so far? Any problems?"

All members shook their heads in response and passed a pot of green tea around. "No problems at all, Head Captain Yamamoto. Everything has proceeded as planned." Yoruichi answered confidently as she poured herself a generous cup.

Karin looked over the table and noticed that Rukia and Ichigo were discreetly holding hands under the table. _I wonder if they care that everyone in this room notices_. She looked to her left and saw that Renji was obviously pouring saké into his green tea. _Like your liquor that much, Eyebrows? _Returning her eyes in front of her she noticed Yoruichi glaring menacingly at Toushirou. _What bug crawled up her ass and died?_ Finally she decided to check back over to her right at Toushirou. _ What's his problem tonight? He seemed a lot less uptight last time I was around him. Has that much changed for him in six years?_

She was pulled from her thoughts by the voice of the older man on the screen. "Hello there, Ms. Kurosaki. I'm honored that you could join us tonight. I trust that you received your letter from young Captain Hitsugaya?"

Caught off guard, Karin noticed the whispering and strange stare pointed in her direction. "Umm…yes, sir. I did."

Before anyone could question further, Yamamoto finished, "Well, then that is all that was required of this meeting. Enjoy your two days in the World of the Living. The gate will open for you again on Friday at noon. Until then, be safe."

And with that the portal faded, before anyone could protest. The room was silent for all of one moment. Then Renji opened his mouth, already slightly tipsy, "So, Toushirou, what the hell is going on?"

Sighing once again, "I have told you all already that it is not for me to say at this point in time. If you want to know that badly, take it up with Yamamoto. I am not going to betray his trust for a group of curious officers."

On that thought he rose and left the room, walking to the room where the gigais were being held. He quickly found the tuft of white hair sticking out of the rows of bodies covered in the thin white sheets. Grabbing the pile of clothes in the baggy with his last name on it, he walked over to his allotted gigai. What he didn't notice was the dark haired woman following behind him slowly and quietly sticking her head out just as he entered his gigai.

After entering his makeshift body, he cringed at the sensation of is soul attaching to it. It made him slightly queasy for a moment, before shaking it off and pushing the blanket down to his hips, exposing his toned and lean upper torso. Karin gasped at the sight, closing her eyes quickly, knowing that it was improper to be watching him. _Okay Karin, stop. It's just your raging teenage hormones. He's your friend and superior for God's sake._ She thought as she turned her back to him, knocking on the door to alert him of her presence.

Toushirou jumped at the sudden noise, quickly pulling on his green boxers and dark washed jeans and socks. Throwing the sheet off, he replied, "Who is it?" as he rushed to pull on the emerald green collared t-shirt.

"It's just me, Karin." She said waiting for him to give her permission to enter.

"Okay, you may enter." He replied while fastening his black digital watch onto is left wrist and running a hand through his soft, clean hair sticking up on his head in it's usual spiked style.

Karin squeezed through the opening and padded over to him softly. "Is everything okay? You seemed rather irritated out there. Is it supposed to be a secret, what you gave me? Because if it is I won't tell."

He slipped on his black track-style shoes and wiggled his feet so that the heels didn't get bunched up. He hated it when that happened. "The orders from Yamamoto were that no one but you and I were to know of this decision until everything was in order and in place. Now that I have uncovered that you are already a Soul Reaper, I'm not sure what will happen from here. I will probably set up a private portal conversation with him to inform him of these recent developments before the meeting in two days."

She sighed and sat beside Rukia's gigai. Playing with its hair softly. "I wish my hair was this soft. I guess that's what I get for abandoning it and wearing it so short for 13 years." She spoke softly, continuing the gentle ministrations on the mock body. "It's almost hard to believe that this isn't a real body, just a temporary vessel to hold a soul."

Toushirou watching in silent awe at the gentleness and openness of this young woman. "Do you always say exactly what's on your mind, no caution as to who could be listening?"

She laughed quietly, "Pretty much. What you see is what you get with me. I have nothing to hide and no reason to hide it. Why, does that bother you?"

He sat there silent for a moment before answering as honestly as he could, "No, I find it rather refreshing, actually. It's not every day that you find someone as open as you. It's definitely a contrast from the closed off people that surround me on a daily basis."

"Cool, I agree. The world needs more people like me!" she replied, sticking her chin in the air as she started to stand up.

Unexpectedly, she didn't use quite enough force to hoist herself completely upright, so she found herself falling directly back where she had began. Bracing herself for the rough landing, she was extremely surprised when it never came. Opening her eyes to gauge the damage, she was shocked to find that she had been firmly grasped by a sturdy arm across the back of her shoulders and a strong hand grasping her left forearm, a cool body leaning over her as if it were part of a dance. When her onyx eyes met the blue-green pools of sight merely six inches in front of hers, she couldn't stop the soft blush from creeping up to her cheeks and ears. "Well, I guess this would look totally awkward to any spectators…Thanks though. I totally would have face planted into Renji's body otherwise." she muttered more to herself than to him.

At those words Toushirou felt his own cheeks redden, betraying the tension that tickled at his conscience. Clearing his throat, he helped her to stand the rest of the way up. "You're welcome." He said, turning to exit the room, waiting for her to exit first.

_Whoa…that was a weird feeling._ She thought to herself as she walked in front of him, exiting the room. _What was that? I almost felt slightly queasy._ _Whoo…must be about to have my period or something…_

After reentering the main room, she noticed that they had passed Renji and Rangiku on their way to get their own gigais. "Looking sharp, Captain." Rangiku had commented as they quickly passed. _ He does look pretty sharp doesn't he? And he's gotten considerably taller too. Come to think of it, he does look older now. He's freaking taller than me. That's not fair!_

Her thoughts were interrupted by the object of her concentration, "And you were saying I get lost in thought a lot…speak for yourself."

She attempted a death glare at him, only to succeed in making him snicker to himself. _She is so easy to rattle. It's very entertaining to not be the butt end of a joke for once._

Both of their thoughts were interrupted by the return of Renji and Rangiku, now clad in their gigais, working on getting them as drunk as their spirit forms. "Really, Rangiku, I sometimes really wonder why I have never had you transferred to another division…"

Rangiku only succeeded in falling over onto Renji and kissing him on the cheek as the two fell over, unable to compensate for their shift in weight in their current condition. Toushirou rolled his eyes and slowly shoved Karin towards the door. "Rangiku is staying with Orihime, and Rukia is obviously staying at your place, probably in with your brother. Renji and Kira are staying here for purposes unknown to me. I think that everything is set, so I'll walk you back to your home."

As he began to walk he noticed that she wasn't following. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

She tilted her head and stared at him. "Where does that leave you?"

He shrugged and sighed. I'll probably stay on the roof at Orihime's house again. I was fine there the last time."

She frowned at that and replied, "You will absolutely not be staying on the roof of that house. You can't get any sleep up there."

He gave her a half-smile and replied, semi-lost in thought, "It's okay. I probably won't be doing much sleeping anyway."

She still shook her head, "Why not?"

He closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment. Not now… "I just—"

"Can't get passed the dreams?" She finished for him.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at the night sky, "You could say that…"

She walked closer to him, standing to his right and tilting her head to see his face, "Did something happen? You know I'm here for you no matter what it is. I don't judge. I've had some pretty screwed up things happen in my life too…"

He shook his head and looked back at her, "Now is not the time to talk about such things. We need to get you home and I need to get to Orihime's. We can finish these conversations at a later date."

As he turned to walk she placed a hand n his right shoulder, stopping his movement. She turned him to face her and, to his surprise, threw her arms around his neck in a comforting embrace. As soon as her chin was over his shoulder, she could smell the lingering scent of cinnamon and vanilla resting in the nook of his shoulder and neck. The scent was rich and exotic, and she felt something in her very core shift.

Likewise, Toushirou, already dazed at her impulsive display of affection, had his senses reeling from the scent of her jasmine-vanilla shampoo in her hair, collected in that bun at the back of her head. Thought the scent was subtle, it was intoxicating nonetheless and he could feel all of the blood in his body rush from his head, leaving him slightly lightheaded and faint.

When the moment came that they finally broke apart it was with both hesitation and relief. Letting her hands slide down his arms to his elbows, Karin looked him directly in the eyes and said, "You're staying at my house. You can have the couch. You're not sleeping on that roof again."

Before he could protest, she had grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to face the right direction and fall in step beside her. When she finally dropped his wrist, he felt a shocking, but subtle sense of emptiness sting at him. It had been a long time since someone had touched him like that. But he couldn't think about that right now. Those were thoughts for solitude.

As they walked, their hands occasionally bumped together unintentionally. Every time they did, Toushirou's resolve broke a bit more as he was pulled from his thoughts. It was a godsend when they finally reached the girl's home. Opening the door, Karin allowed him to enter first, bolting the door behind her, as they both kicked off their shoes. "Just wait in here. I'll go get you a blanket and pillow."

He watched her back as she disappeared down the hall and entered the last room on the right. He took a deep breath as he waited for her to return. Why was he feeling like this? Was it that long since he had felt a woman's touch other than his belligerent Vice Captain's? Had he really missed platonic affection that much? Wait, no. In the past it hadn't been…"

His thoughts trailed off as Karin returned, carrying a thick pillow, a blue sheet, and a thicker brown blanket. "I hope these will suffice or the next two nights. If not just let me know tomorrow and I'll steal them off of someone's bed."

He nodded slowly and reassured her, "I'm sure they will be fine, considering that fact that I was planning on not having any on the rooftop."

She smiled at him and let her hands fall to her sides, "Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep. Let me know if you need anything else. My room is the last room on the right. No need to knock, just come in if you need me. Shake me, yell at me, whatever. I don't mind."

He snickered and replied, "Don't give me permission to irritate you, because I usually can't pass up the offer."

She rolled her eyes and gave him a swift, "Good night," before retreating back down the hall, her feet softly padding the floor as she went.

When he heard the door to her room shut tightly, he quickly fixed up his makeshift bed and went to stand next to the window across from the couch. He leaned on the windowsill and gazed out at the waning moon, hanging like a crescent in the sky. It was now that he finally allowed his mind to rest and his memories to flood in. His mind was suddenly filled with thoughts of his childhood, sitting on the porch outside of his home in the Rukongai, eating watermelons with her… Memories of watching her train, watching her grow into a gentle and kind woman. He fixed his mind on the memory of the day that he became Captain and the look of pride obviously displayed on her face for all to see, her black hamaka draping over her body with her Vice Captain badge glistening in the sunlight. He remembered her smile as he walked up to receive his haori, sparkling as the sun danced across her ever-youthful face as she cheered him on.

There was only one other time that she had ever looked more beautiful to him. That day was the day that she was falling apart in his arms, writhing and moaning his name as if it was everything that she was born to do. Her skin was the softest he had ever felt and her voice eliciting moans and whimpers of pleasure was the most beautiful music he had ever heard. The moonlight had kissed her body everywhere that his lips couldn't reach among the millions of kisses he had showered over her body as they gave their purity to one another, surrendering to the passion that had hidden itself inside of them since childhood as it consumed them as a hungry animal would its latest catch.

She had come to him in the midst of a violent rainstorm in the Seiretei. The wind howling against the wooden doors of the chamber he called home. She had emerged clad merely in her white sleeping hamaka, the rain soaked completely through, leaving very little to his imagination. She had run to him, sobbing into his chest as she spilled words that he couldn't understand from her mouth, only making out the words "Aizen" and "dead."

He had held her, as she broke apart, kissing him desperately, needing his strength as much as he needed her weakness. She had ripped his hamaka open and kissed him everywhere that she could reach, wanting to feel all of him at once. He couldn't resist her or deny her or himself what they both needed and gave himself over to her wishes. He could feel her sorrow bleeding into him as he pulled her hamaka off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as they knelt facing each other with their foreheads pressing together in a last desperate grasp at the innocence they were so passionately letting go of. She had pull the rest of his hamaka off of him, letting it slide carelessly to the pool at his feet, hanging off of his heels as he ran his hands down the soft skin of her sides, listening to her hum in satisfaction.

She had pushed him backwards and lowered herself onto him, straddling his hips, as he began to thrust into her slowly, feeling his shoulders digging into the woven carpeted floor as a last shred of sanity left him and he grasped her hips and drove his heat into her own as if it was the last thing he would ever do. Her whimpers of pain and pleasure mingled together with his moans of passion and grunts of exertion and created a melody for passion. They had allowed their hands to roam this uncharted territory as they rhythmically ground into each other in a dance of forbidden fruit and primal lust.

When she had finally reached her breaking point, she had whimpered his childhood name, "Lil' Shiro…" as her walls contracted against him as she fell thousands of feet into him. As she had laid panting on his chest, he had reached the pinnacle of his pleasure and gave one last thrust into her white hot moisture and emptied himself into her as he moaned her name, "Oh Momo…" and relaxed against the ground, clinging to her as if she would disappear without the embrace.

They had never spoken of that night. Not to anyone else or even to each other. It was just an understanding. A night of passion that only happened once and then was gone, but somehow lingered on in the hearts of the two childhood friends.

He rubbed his eyes, fighting back tears, as he came back to earth, taking a deep breath as he sighed out her name, "Oh Momo… If only I had been there…"

He finally resigned himself to sleep as he lay down on the small couch preparing for a long night as he fell into a fitfull sleep that he understood would never award him rest from his troubles...

What he didn't realize was that he wasn't alone in his sorrows...one other could understand his pain better than anyone else. The loss of innocence with a cry in the night...


	6. Sacred Fire Storm

Chapter 6: Sacred Fire Storm

The morning came very quickly, too quickly for Toushirou to maintain any makeshift model of rest to replenish his waning strength. As a result, he was completely drained, groaning as the birds chirping outside roused him from his restless slumber. He tossed the blankets to the side and swung his legs to place his sock clad feet on the floor. He bent over to rest his elbows on his knees and place his face in his cupped palms as he attempted to rub the fatigue from his face with his calloused hands. "Looks like the start of another wonderful day…" he muttered to himself.

"Of course it is!" sounded the peppy voice of Isshin Kurosaki from down the hall as he bounded into the living room where Toushirou was still hunched over his knees.

"Good morning, Isshin…" he replied, stifling a yawn with his hand.

Isshin came to sit next to the young captain and lounged back against the back of the couch. "So, how did you sleep?"

Toushirou rolled his eyes upward to keep them open and replied softly, "I've slept better…"

Isshin laughed out loud and smacked him on the back, "That bad huh? You know, I have some medication you could take for that. If you want me to go get it I can."

Toushirou shook his head and rubbed his temples, "Thank you, but I think I can take care of it on my own. This isn't the first time that I have woken after only a few hours of sleep. I'll be fine."

Isshin stood and retreated into the kitchen where Yuzu had already begun breakfast. Toushirou was ready to rise up from his place on the couch when he felt the sudden drop of weight next to him on the couch. He wondered who it was but was too lazy to even turn his head, choosing instead to read the spiritual energy surrounding them. "Morning, Karin," he said with as little effort as he could.

All he heard in response was a groan followed by a long sigh. "You too?" he asked.

He saw her nod out of her peripheral vision as he sighed in response. "We're useless," she said to him stretching her arms wide before falling backwards, her head resting against his shoulder.

He rolled his eyes and yawning said, "Speak for yourself. I am quite useful where I come from," as he shoved her off with his left hand.

She snickered and punched his shoulder, "Yeah, but that's only where you come from…"

Toushirou decided to let the comment slide, as he had not the energy to fuel this futile argument. Rising from his seat, he walked over to the kitchen, pouring himself a large cup of very strong, black coffee that he had taken a liking to the last time he came to the World of the Living. Downing a large portion of it in one gulp he reseated himself on the couch. Karin reached over and grabbed the coffee out of his hand and took a large sip of it, inhaling the rich scent of it, before replacing it back in his waiting hand that never moved from the position it was in previously holding the cup. There was a moment of silence before Toushirou broke it saying, "Go get your own, you mooch."

She let out a giggle and replied, "No, I would down the whole pot in a matter of minutes. Dad would get mad."

Toushirou allowed a stifled laugh to escape his lips as he pictured the girl drinking large gulps of coffee directly from the pot itself. _Now THAT is an entertaining thought_…

He finally finished of the cup and rose, placing it in the sink across the kitchen. Stretching his arms above his head he walked to the bathroom to relieve himself. Upon entering the bathroom, he noticed that there was a baggy with essentials inside bearing his name on the label. He emptied the bag onto the counter, sifting through the razor, floss, nail clippers, hair gel, and deodorant to find his toothbrush. Squeezing a generous amount of paste onto the bristles and coated it with water before shoving it into his mouth and beginning the three minute task of cleaning his teeth. There was a knock at the door before Ichigo walked in, throwing a towel onto the rack and starting the water in the shower. "Morning Hitsugaya," he said as he removed his shirt and got his stuff together for his shower.

Toushirou grunted in reply with his mouth full of toothpaste. Spitting it into the sink rinsed his brush off and cupped a handful of water, swishing it around in his mouth before spitting it neatly into the sink and wiping his mouth with a towel. Grabbing his deodorant, he applied a generous amount under each arm and pulled his own special bottle of refreshing body out of the bag. "Do you want the shower when I'm done?" Ichigo asked as he stepped into the steaming hot shower. "If you do then I'll save you some hot water, if not I'm using it."

Toushirou grinned knowingly, "That's okay. You probably need it a lot more than I do this morning."

Ichigo grinned inside the shower, as he lathered his upper body up with soap, and muttered just loud enough for the young captain to hear, "That I do…"

Toushirou pushed all of his stuff back into the bag and stashed it away in the cabinet under the sink. As he exited the bathroom he noticed that the house was very quiet. He walked into the kitchen and noticed a note on the counter in from Isshin.

_**Toushirou and Karin**__: Yuzu and I have gone to the pharmacy to restock my cabinets in the clinic then we will be picking up lunch at the Tokyo Express Noodle House for all of you. We should return in a few hours. Ichigo and Rukia are going out to the movies and to take her shopping. No telling how long they'll be. If there is any problem, call my cell. The number is on the refrigerator. Take care. –__**Isshin**_

Sighing, Toushirou took this time to fall back onto the couch. As soon as he began to doze, he felt a sharp weight hit him in the chest. Grunting, he opened his eyes to the hand of Karin Kurosaki pressed firmly against the center of his chest, her short but thin fingers splayed evenly against the interior of his pectoral muscles. "What the hell was that for?" he questioned the disheveled woman in front of him.

She snickered and removed her hand, letting it fall onto the outside of his left thigh directly above his knee where it lay limply. "Just wanted to let you know that I was going to Urahara's Shop to train. I was just seeing if you wanted to come."

He turned his head and popped his neck, leaning forward and stretching his back. "Sure, why not."

She smiled and patted his knee before standing and offering her hand to help him up. Grasping her wrist, he accepted the offer and stood, stretching again against the uncomfortable gigai. Heading to the door, he toed himself into his shoes before following her out. After she locked the door behind her, she pulled to the side to allow him to walk beside her. He noticed that she had changed her clothing to black cloth athletic pants and a simple black tank top that scooped way too low to be considered decent in his opinion. The lace that edged along the sweetheart top of it didn't succeed in making it seem anymore innocent and cute and he found himself fighting to not glance over every few moments.

As they came upon Urahara's Shop, Toushirou felt a sense of ease come upon him as he realized he could truly distract himself from everything here. As they made their way inside, the rest of their comrades greeted them. Rangiku and Renji, doubtless, were still unconscious somewhere. So they passed them all and made their way down to the training room.

Upon entering the large wasteland of a training room, Karin popped a soul pill into her mouth as Toushirou watched from afar. Upon swallowing it, the telltale energy surrounded her as her soul was wrenched from her body in a cloud of lightning. As her human body dropped to the ground, in its place stood a young woman wearing a black hamaka with a red sash around her waist and a sword with a flaming red hilt on her back. Her hair was held back, braided down her back with a crimson red ribbon woven into it, her red chunks of hair plastered to the side by some unknown sealant. Out of what appeared to be nowhere, Kisuke Urahara appeared. Coming about ten paces in front of Karin, he unsheathed his zanpakuto, the pink glow evident almost immediately. As if on cue, Karin turned and slowly unsheathed her own zanpakuto, revealing a shining, curved silver sword with a flaming red hilt bearing a bright red tassel on the grip. The sword was curved and appeared as a standard katana but bathed in a soft red glow from her spiritual energy.

Urahara took his fighting stance and ordered, "Call out your zanpakuto!"

Pulling her sword across her body to hold it with her left palm up, she grabbed the hilt with both hands and drew her left hand from the hilt to the tip of the blade as she chanted, "Flames of hell rise from the depths! Flare, Seika!

Toushirou drew in a breath as he watched as her hand slid across the blade turning it glowing red-hot as it slid. Her blade appeared to glow redder as she got closer to her opponent. As her blade clashed with Urahara's sparks flew in all directions. "Sacred Fire, alright…" Toushirou muttered to himself.

The two sparred back and forth, blades clashing in a metallic symphony for a good hour. Finally, Urahara stopped and asked, "Do you think you're ready? I think that today is the day you. You have had plenty of practice and training. I would be surprised if you couldn't achieve it now. C'mon. Give it a shot!"

Toushirou watched as she visibly drew in a deep breath and held her sword in her right hand by the hilt and pointed it outwards in front of her. She then gripped her right wrist with her left hand and closed her eyes. _She's not_…

He let out an audible gasp as she began to chant that fateful word that struck fear in the hearts of all Soul Reapers, "Bankai…"

As soon as the words left her mouth, her entire body was engulfed in her red spirit energy, whirling around her like a violent tornado. Slowly, it began to concentrate itself in her sword as the zanpakuto itself transformed into a long, black blade that burst into flames. Her hamaka became bright red and split into a sleeveless and backless shihakusho like that he had seen Soifon and Yoruichi wear previously. Red leather gauntlets that concealed the entire forearm to the elbow suddenly covered both of her arms. Urahara's eyes grew wide and, filled with awe, directed her, "Call it to attack!"

At his words, she recited her chant and flung her sword forward, "Fire of heaven rain upon! Flare and Consume! Sheika Arashi!"

Suddenly, as she flung her sword forward, the flames that were surrounding it became a whip-like projectile and wrapped around Urahara's sword, melting the blade to nothing. After the initial attack, the whip retreated back into the blade as the fire returned to the zanpakuto.

For a moment she just stood there, wide-eyed and frozen, holding the flaming blade in her hands. She looked from the zanpakuto to Urahara then back to her zanpakuto as if she had just killed someone. Urahara stood there for a moment and collected his thoughts. "Damn, Karin! You have a Fire Bankai! I haven't seen one of those in a long time. And I have never seen one with your ability. I wonder what else it can do…Wow…to melt an opponent's zanpakuto! I have never seen that before! This is big, Karin. Very big…"

Karin remained still, but slowly turned her flame-covered blade in her hand, observing all there was to see about it. The look of awe on her face was priceless. Slowly, Toushirou began to walk down to see her, noticing, with great surprise, the large black dragon tattoo that wove down her spine, spitting flames as it went. As he got close enough, he reached out and ran his tan fingers over it, watching her shudder under his touch. The closer he looked he realized that the tattoo was a fresh brand, burned into her skin, still hot to the touch. "Sacred Fire Storm, huh?" he muttered softly for her ears alone.

She closed her eyes as he continued to run his fingers along the searing pain in her back. "What is it?" she asked him, letting her flaming blade fall to her side and rest the tip in the sand.

"A black dragon branded into your skin along your spine…" he managed to breathe out in his amazement, Finally resting his hand on the head of the dragon at the base of her spine, directly above her tailbone.

She drew in her breath slightly at the unfamiliar touch, but relaxed after a moment, feeling the coolness of his fingers resting lightly on her still burning flesh. Ask he started to pull back, she whimpered slightly. "Please don't…it's so hot…and your hands…"

Understanding the message, Toushirou placed a hang flat on her back, "Where does it hurt?"

She replied, "Below my ribs…"

Sliding his hand to the spot she directed, he flattened it over the stinging skin and concentrated his spirit energy. She gasped at the sudden cold bite of the thin layer of ice forming beneath his pulsing hand, but soon welcomed the soothing ache that it created.

They stood like this for a few moments before she finally turned slowly to face him, "Thank you," she said glancing down at the hand that was caressing her back with ice, reaching down to softly stroke the small piece of ice remaining in the palm.

She stroked it until it had all melted and she was touching just cold, wet skin with her fingertips. Slowly, their eyes met and locked together in a quiet stare. Her onyx orbs explored his jade ones as if trying to solve a puzzle. Neither realized how much time passed, but it didn't really matter either. The stare was suddenly broken when her body doubled over transformed back into her normal Soul Reaper hamaka and zanpakuto. The transition brought her to her knees, breathing heavily. Toushirou immediately met her on his knees too, allowing his dark jeans to sink into the dense sand, "Are you okay?"

She nodded weakly. He pulled her to him and allowed her to bury her head in his shoulder until she could catch her breath properly as he took in the scent of burnt sandalwood incense. He rubbed her back slowly with his right hand, supporting her with his left, "It's okay. It happens to everyone the first time."


	7. Finally Found

A/N: OMG! I just streaked my hair PINK! Sorry, just thought I'd toss that out there for the public…Anyhoo, enjoy!

Chapter 7: Finally Found

He held her there for about ten minutes, allowing her to catch her breath, and the wave of nausea to pass. As she slowly began to feel better she allowed herself to relax slightly in his arms, enjoying the soft, comforting, circular patterns he was weaving with his fingers on her back. Even though the touch was barely there, she could still feel the coolness of his fingers penetrate through her hamaka. She turned her head ever so slightly, breathing in the still lingering scent of cinnamon vanilla that was strangely erotic. Pushing the thought quickly from her mind, she allowed her left arm to snake around his waist and her right to rest on his collar bone, her thumb resting lightly on the skin just beyond the reach and cover of his shirt.

This subtle touch sent a small shock through the young captain's body, his eyes closing to suppress a moan. _Her hands are so soft for one who wields a sword…they might even be softer than..._

As the thought passed through his mind, he was snapped back to reality. "Are you feeling better?" he asked quickly, "Because we should probably get back to your house for lunch. Your father and sister should be home soon. We wouldn't want to miss out."

She let out a small, almost inaudible sigh of disappointment, causing him to tense ever so slightly, anticipating her reaction. "Yeah, I'm better. You're probably right. It is getting close to noon. They should be getting home within the next half hour or so."

After breathing a short sigh of relief, he helped her stand and walked her back to her body, making sure that she made the transition okay. Helping her stand once again, he led the way out of the front door of Urahara's shop after finding him in a storage room repairing his melted zanpakuto.

The walk to her home was mostly silent, until they reached her street. He turned slightly to face her and asked, "When did you first realize that you were a Soul Reaper and begin training?"

She stared off for a minute, collecting her thoughts before answering, "About five years ago. I started having the dreams shortly before that, but the training didn't begin until about five years ago. We started with Kido and combat before moving on to Zanpakuto. I truly discovered my zanpakuto about a year into it, she visited me in a dream, finally making her presence known."

She sighed at the reverie, "But we can talk about all of this later tonight. We need to go inside and get everything ready for lunch."

Toushirou nodded silently and followed her through the front door as she bolted it behind her and they kicked their shoes off once again. He then followed her to the kitchen where she proceeded to open a few cabinets and drawers. She pulled out four plates and glasses, pushing the cabinet closed with her foot after turning to set them on the table. "Would you mind grabbing some napkins while you're over there?" she asked him, pointing with her chin to the roll of paper towels hanging by his head.

As he nodded and ripped of four paper towels, he attempted to start up another conversation, "So, how has your family been these last six years?"

She smiled and continued setting the table up, "We've made it out pretty well. Ichigo graduated in the top 15 of his class three years ago, Yuzu just graduated salutatorian of her class and I graduated with early graduate honors last year in the top 10 of my class. Dad's business is flourishing within the last three years, what with him and Ryuuken becoming work buddies again and all, he works nights at the hospital 'Minute Clinic' on the weekends."

She paused to get four sodas out of the refrigerator and filled the glasses with ice, "Yuzu is finally able to completely see spirit beings and interact with them, but I don't think that she will ever be a Soul Reaper in her lifetime. She's too meek and mild. She and Orihime get along well though. She even met her new boyfriend through Orihime. She introduced them at some party she threw two years ago. His name's Yachi. He's a nice boy, treats her well. Ichigo, as if you didn't know, has been sneaking off to Soul Society to be with Rukia for the last five and a half years. They couldn't take the distance so he swings by every weekend, or tries to rather. I think that they'll end up publicly together soon. I'm just counting the days."

Toushirou thought that all of that news was good but wasn't satisfied, "What about you? How has your life been these last six years?"

She rolled her eyes and walked over to the couch, motioning for him to follow, "Please, you don't wanna know about me. There's nothing interesting to tell."

He cocked his right eyebrow, sitting beside her, folding his left leg under him and hanging his left arm off the back of the couch, "Now what makes you think that I am going to settle for that puny response? Try again."

"Okay, okay…" she said, in mock offence, "let's see…I'm eighteen. I graduated from Karakura High School. I am a Soul Reaper, and a damn good one at that."

At this Toushirou rolled his eyes and interrupted, "A little cocky now, are we?"

She shushed him, drawing a snicker from him, and proceeded, "I have a reputation as a hard-ass and not many guys want a relationship with me. They find it much more amusing to try to get in my pants and end up with their asses beaten to a sodden pulp. I don't have many friends for many reasons, Soul Reaper, college, work…I had to give up soccer when I became a Soul Reaper because there wasn't any time left for it. That knocked out a lot of my friends. I attend Karakura Town University where I am currently majoring in Biology, thinking about becoming a doctor like my dad. Might take over the business when he lets it go. God knows Ichigo will never do it and Yuzu wants to be a chef. I don't really want to be anything but a Soul Reaper. It's sad, I know, but that's what I want to do with my life. It's my passion now, you could say…"

As she lost the end of her sentence, she stared off in thought. Toushirou took the opportunity to study her for a moment. She wasn't at all the young girl that she had been when he had met her six years ago. Time had definitely changed her, but he wasn't sure if it was a good change. She seemed harder, rougher around the edges, like she was keeping something to herself. Much like him, she continually lost herself in thought and when pulled from it, denied up and down that anything was wrong. _Has something happened to her? Did she lose someone she cared about? What is the mystery that is Karin Kurosaki?_

Suddenly she shook her head and focused back on him. "So, enough about me. What about you? Surely something interesting has happened in your life in the last six years."

Toushirou glanced around the room as he collected his thoughts. This was odd. He wasn't the type of person to just sit down and talk about his day. That was more a part of Rangiku's character, not his. Yet here he was listening and talking to a girl he hadn't seen in half a dozen years as if she were one of his closest friends. "Well," he began, "I'm still Captain of the 10th Division Squad in the Seiretei. I was on the front lines in the war against Aizen. I celebrated my 25th year as Captain last year. I have grown six inches since you last saw me, and I only recently realized that seasons in the World of the Living and the Soul Society are reversed."

She giggled slightly at the last two remarks, "Are they really? You mean it's pretty much winter over there?"

He nodded, "Exactly."

She nodded in reply and shifted her position as the awkward silence settled over the two. Fortunately, the creaking of the front door opening and the voice of Isshin saved them, "Hey everyone, we're home!"

Karin eagerly got up and started grabbing bags from him, setting them on the table to be sorted through. As Toushirou watched, his mind began to wander yet again…

The night was cooler after the sun had set and the breeze had picked up. The moon was starting to appear as the stars began to light up the navy night sky. "Why does the sky here have to be so beautiful…?" Toushirou unintentionally thought out loud.

"I don't know. Why, do you want it to be ugly or something?" the voice of Karin pierced his silence, coming to sit beside him on the guard rail, looking out at the sky from their spot, "I thought you said that you came here to look at the sky. You used to say it was the best place to do it. Why would you come here and not want to see it? That's awfully silly of you."

He laughed silently to himself, realizing the irony of the situation all to easily. He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, and hooked his legs under the rail to stay upright. He allowed the silence to thicken just a bit before finally shattering it; "I guess I just realize now how sad it makes me…" he trailed off.

Karin frowned and tilted her head to look at him. "Why does the sky make you sad? It's just a regular night sky, nothing really all that special about it." She said as she stood, walking a few paces ahead into the sandy, rocky terrain.

Toushirou sighed and watched her, observing her black shoes becoming covered in dust as she drew circles in the sand. He observed her with her hands on her hips, face towards the sky as she looked out over the bright lights of Karakura Town in the distance. "I love the night. It comforts me somehow, darkness. I don't know why, but I feel at home in the dark of night, the way it encompasses me, leaving me without any control as to where it touches me, forcing me to surrender to it…" Her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes, allowing the breeze to kiss her face softly, leaving a cool trail across her cheek.

She didn't hear him as he softly took steps to stand beside her. He was intrigued by the way that the wind seemed to manifest in a soft pink glow around her cheeks as it caressed her face. _Is she doing that?_ He wondered as he tilted his head slightly to get a better look.

She felt his presence before she heard or saw him, his spirit energy pulsing gently through the air towards her. He reached out, subconsciously and touched her cheek, only realizing his slip as she opened her eyes and met his. Quickly removing his hand, he averted his eyes, muttering, "Sorry, I don't know what came over me…"

She watched as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, to avoid further incident, and focused his eyes on the landscape ahead. She was puzzled at this man. One moment he seemed to enjoy her company and even to go as far as showing minor signs of affection. But the next moment he seemed to pull back into his shell, not meeting her gaze and distancing himself. She couldn't understand it, how someone could live like that. That was when she found her resolve and acted on it immediately.

Toushirou didn't even realize that she had moved before her arms were around his shoulders and her face buried in the right side of his neck. His breath caught in his throat and he almost forgot to hug back, slowly circling his arms around her waist, lightly resting his hands one above the other, flat against her back. Her breath on the side of his neck sent tiny shivers down his spine, goose bumps popping up along their trail. This was a sensory roller coaster. He breathed in that knowing jasmine-vanilla scent and felt a small shudder run through his body.

Karin didn't know what else to do but to embrace the white-haired captain. It just felt so right. His scent was thick and musky this time, the scent of vanilla filled her breath, sending shockwaves through her body. _What __**is**__ this feeling_? She didn't know what to think or what move to make from here. She just knew that she needed to feel him against her, his cool body contrasting her own steaming warmth.

Toushirou breathed a soft breath against her ear, feeling her shudder in his arms. These movements made him reflexively pull her tighter to him, letting out another breath, not realizing that it was like an icy wind against the warmth of her neck. She shivered in his arms once again and whispered, "You're so cold, but you feel so good…"

His eyes slowly slid shut at that remark, surrendering himself to the moment. Something felt so sinfully wicked about this, but at the same time, so satisfyingly content. He allowed his left hand to trail slowly and softly up her right arm where it rested by the elbow on his left shoulder, his fingertips barely grazing the baby soft flesh beneath them. His right hand slowly slid up her back and softly grasped the back of her neck, feeling the soft heat radiate onto his hand.

Karin let out a nearly inaudible gasp at the frosty contact with the bottom of her hairline. She allowed her left hand to run it's hot fingers through his downy soft, white hair, burying her hand against his scalp as her nose tickled the bottom of his earlobe. She could feel the hand at the back of her neck working its fingers around the rubber band in her hair.

He grasped the elastic and tugged gently, releasing her hair from its bindings and allowing it to cascade down her back, covering his hand in it's subtle warmth. He slowly ran his fingers through it, starting at the base of the hairline and slowly sliding them through to the center of the strands, balling his fist to encircle his hand in the dark silkiness as he once again breathed in the exotic scent that clung to her temple. He shuddered as her warm nose teased the base of his earlobe, absorbing her soft warmth into it.

She could feel his left arm drop from her shoulder and land on her right hipbone, slowly sliding his thumb barely beneath the seam of her shirt, tickling the hot skin of her stomach as he felt the tiny bumps appearing under his ministrations.

His hand was roughly calloused, but felt so protective and erotic as it massaged her skin gently. _Oh God, if he keeps that up_… she thought, feeling the blood rushing to the lower half of her body. She breathed a small sigh of relief as his hand stilled, but didn't leave its place on her hip.

He didn't know what was coming over him, but right now he was powerless to stop it. Her scent, her skin, her breath, her heat… It was too much to resist altogether. He couldn't concentrate on any one aspect of the experience.

Karin felt herself falling, and falling fast. Like her Soul Reaper destiny, she was powerless to stop it, having to surrender to the emotions that spilled from her body, feeling his spirit energy mesh with her own.

Unbeknownst to the young couple, there was a soft glow forming around their clinging forms, a soft lavender energy outlining their bodies.

Karin couldn't hold herself back any longer, tilting her head slightly to the left as she brushed her searing lips against his cool cheek, pressing them lightly against the soft plateau of flesh. She could feel his spiritual energy spike and his body tense slightly against her touch, causing her to press his body firmly against her in to prevent him from withdrawing.

At the soft caress of her lips against his cheek, he had jerked slightly and began to pull away, his eyes glistening with emotion, fighting to hold back tears as she firmly pressed her body to his, immobilizing his escape attempt. "Why are you afraid of me…?" he heard her breath against his ear, her cheek caressing his, softly.

At those words, he felt a solitary tear escape his left eye, quickly followed by a wet trail on his right cheek as well. _I can't do this…I can't…It's too much…_ He fought with all of his might to hold back the flood, but in doing so, he only made the tears come faster and harder.

Karin frowned slightly as she felt an unfamiliar wetness against her cheek, lifting her hand lightly to feel…_am I crying_…? She massaged her finger over his cheek, realizing with a gasp that the tears were his…

His tears flowed faster as he realized that her fingers were bathing themselves in their salty moisture. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut in a vain attempt at stopping the flow. In a last act of desperation, he pulled quickly away from her inviting body, walking a few paces to the side as he buried his face in his right hand, wrapping his left arm around his body as he turned his back to her.

All of a sudden, he felt her warmth against his back, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and her breath warm against the back of his neck. "Talk to me…I'm here for you…" he heard her whisper.

As the words sunk in, he felt his body double over as he hit his knees in the sand, both of his hands covering his face as fresh tears poured into the waiting palms. _ This is crazy…why am I falling apart like this…and with her_…

She let out a shocked gasp as she watched him hit the ground, her hands desperately pressing onto his back to calm him. _Oh my God…he's hurting so much_…_but why_…?

He felt her touch and tried to pull away, knowing that it would only make him more emotional. "Please…let me in, 'Shiro."

At that familiar word of affection, he let out a loud, heart-wrenching cry that chilled her to the bone. The temperature descended a good thirty degrees as she watched her breath mist out in front of her. She could see a thin, glowing sheet of ice forming on the sand around him, the air growing so cold that she almost couldn't stand it. _So cold_…

He slammed his hands onto the ice covering the sand, thicker sheets of ice forming beneath them as his spirit pressure sky-rocketed. He tucked his head to his chest as more tears descended, flowing off of his face onto the ice below, as he sobbed his heart out. He could feel the freezing cold energy pulsating from his body, but was powerless to stop it. "Toushirou, you have to calm down. This isn't safe…" she begged him.

Suddenly she dropped to her knees in front of him and grasped his face in her hands, lifting it to meet his eyes. It broke her heart to look into those weeping emerald eyes as they seeped over with tears. She rubbed her thumbs over his lower eyelids, wiping the current tears from their rivers on his cheeks. "You don't have to hurt like this. Let me carry some pain for you…please…" she begging in desperation.

And as the words left her mouth, she pressed her lips firmly to his, capturing his panting lips in a powerful, searing kiss, her hands firmly on the sides of his face, stroking his cheeks tenderly. His eyes widened slightly on initial contact before fluttering shut in the passing moments. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, screaming inside at the shock of the volumes of compassion erupting from her body. Compassion for him and him alone. He began to feel his tears subsiding as he allowed himself to be lost in the kiss. It was tender and rough, chaste and sensual, selfish and yet giving. It was so many things that he couldn't even bear to move for fear of spoiling the moment.

Finally, he allowed himself to surrender and let the emotions take him wherever they would, moving his hands up her sides to her shoulders, teasing her bottom lip with his cool tongue, beckoning to taste her. As she parted her lips slightly, granting him entry, he dipped his tongue into her hot cavern of a mouth, exploring every contour with gentle care and attention to detail.

As his tongue explored her own, she moaned into his mouth, enjoying the cool, refreshing taste of mint and sugar. As his desperation grew, he grabbed her back and crushed her body to his own, wrapping his arms around her tightly, making no move to leave this time. In response, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying both hands deep within his platinum hair, massaging his scalp gently with her fingertips, receiving a moan in reply.

Her hands slowly began to roam his body, dipping under his green cotton shirt to run her palms over his cool abdomen, sliding her fingertips over his taut stomach and barely evident ribs. She groaned with pleasure as her fingers raked over his rippling abs, covered in baby-soft flesh. _He is so sexy…this body…Oh my goodness…who would have thought_…?

Moaning in satisfaction at the stimulating contact, he managed to regain some semblance of sanity, breaking the kiss and snaking his hands down to her wrists, removing them from under his shirt. She whimpered slightly in disappointment, but was pleasantly surprised when he brought her cupped hands up to his lips and kissed each palm gently, as if they were something extremely precious to him. She smiled softly at the gesture, staring into his blazing green eyes. They were so dark with desire as he kissed her palms that they were almost glowing, penetrating through her own eyes into the very depths of her soul.

"You are so amazing," he whispered to her, "I never want to let you go…"

He released her wrists and moved to cup her face in his hands, placing a chaste kiss on both of her cheeks before he heard her breathe, "Then don't…"

The words filled his heart with so much passion that he felt it would break at any moment. All this time he hadn't even realized it, but he had been falling for this girl, and falling hard. At this point he didn't care about the rules and mandates implemented by Seiretei.

Softly, he ran his thumb over her bottom lip, closing his eyes in thought. _I will find some way to be there for this girl if it means that I have to talk to Head Captain Yamamoto myself. Nothing this amazing can be let go. It has to be meant to be…I can't let this go…because I think that I have finally found something still worth fighting for_…


	8. First Time in a Long Time

A/N: I am going to apologize now, but after this chapter the story will probably not be updated until either late tomorrow night or the following day at some point. I have to drive five hours back home tomorrow and I have heard that typing and driving is not exactly safe. I'm also sorry that this chapter is so short. The next one will cover a lot of ground though, so I will compensate. Don't worry. So, I'm sorry, but I will finish the next chapter as soon as I can. Thanks for understanding, now START REVIEWING!

Chapter 8: First Time in a Long Time

As the two basked in the afterglow of their realizations, the air around them began to gradually warm up again, the ice beneath their knees melting, dampening both of their pants. Luckily, it was enough to send them both crashing back to Earth, sighing as they realized that the night needed to end at some point. Placing one final kiss on her forehead, Toushirou rose from his kneeling place, reaching both hands down to aid her in standing as well. "We need to get back. The others will begin to worry." He stated.

"Or suspect…" Karin snickered slightly and offered.

Silently, the two Soul Reapers began the short trek back to her home. This time, Toushirou didn't allow their hands to bump occasionally, deciding instead to lace his fingers through Karin's, squeezing her hand gently to reassure her that he didn't regret the night.

"It's so strange," Karin muttered, "Last time that we were here I was twelve years old and wearing biker shorts. Now I'm here making out with the guy that tossed me my soccer ball and got irritated with me for interrogating him."

Toushirou smiled softly at the thought, recalling that day in his mind. As they continued to walk, he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the freedom of the feeling. Somehow, it felt like there was a weight lifted off of his chest. He felt lighter…

As they reached the house, they noticed that all of the lights were off. Looking at his watch, Toushirou realized that it was nearly one in the morning. Karin turned to face him and placed her hands on his chest, splaying her fingers against his toned pectoral muscles. "So, what does this make us now?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. He knew that this question was bound to surface by the end of the night. He had even tried to come up with a good response, but found that he couldn't find the right words to say under the circumstances. "I'm not sure…this is something that we are going to have to discuss tomorrow, I guess."

She nodded softly, closing her eyes and letting her fingers trace his jaw line. "You don't realize just how much I really missed you."

He barely disguised the startled look that threatened to graze his features, "What do you mean?"

She smiled and said, "It was shortly after you left that I began to have my dreams. I figured initially that they had something to do with you. I still don't fully understand, but I guess I will probably never know. Somehow, those dreams made me feel connected to you in some way. I can't explain it, so don't ask. They just really made me miss you. That's all…"

He sighed and closed his eyes too, pulling her into one last embrace as they prepared to part ways. "We leave for the Seiretei tomorrow at noon. You won't need to pack anything. We will probably be leaving your body here too. I am going to speak with Head Captain Yamamoto first thing in the morning. You may join me if you like, since it is about you. I don't see why he would mind. I think that you have the right. Just try to get some sleep tonight and I'll come get you in the morning when I plan to meet with him. It has all been arranged already."

She nodded and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "So I shall see you in the morning. We can talk more about all of this tomorrow. You need to try to sleep too. We can't afford another dragging day like today. Coffee isn't going to save us from sleeping in that Official Captains Meeting tomorrow night."

Toushirou allowed a small snicker before pulling away from her and opening the door to let her enter, kicking their shoes off out of habit. "So, I guess this is good night?" She asked.

He nodded. "Indeed. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well, Karin."

"Sleep well, 'Shiro." She replied, dropping his hand and disappearing down the hallway.

He sighed as he remembered the events of the last hour. He still couldn't grasp how he had allowed himself to fall apart like that. He had never fallen apart in someone's arms before. It had always been the other way around. _Oh well. I guess there is a first time for everything_.

He carefully laid the bed sheets back out on the couch and removed his shirt, replacing it with a thin white undershirt that covered his torso, leaving his arms exposed. Crawling into the makeshift bed, he took a deep breath as he allowed his mind, for the first time in a very long time, to rest…


	9. Just a Child

A/N: I am so sorry that I have not been able to update in a long time!! My computer crashed and I had to get it repaired before any new updates could be posted. The good thing is that I have had plenty of time to gather new inspiration for where this story is going to go. Again, I apologize to all of you people that have been waiting to see what happens. I apologize that it might go a little bit slower from now on because school is about to start in a few weeks. I will still continue to update on a regular basis. There shouldn't be anymore of this 'wait two more weeks' nonsense. That was a technical difficulty. So, if anyone has any further inspiration to offer feel free to message or review it to me. I am overflowing with ideas right now and always welcome more. Well, here is the next chapter. In the next few chapters it finally begins to get into the Soul Society portion of the story and will now start to really explore the "in-character" Toushirou. Sorry if you loved his character in the last few chapters, but that is not how Toushirou really is. He will now begin showing the "Captain Hitsugaya" side of him more than the milder Toushirou Hitsugaya. Remember, we're back in Soul Society, and he can't afford to appear weak in front of his subordinates. Well, Read and Review please!!

Chapter 9: Just a Child...

Toushirou woke before the first lights of morning. The sky was still black, though the first rays of purple were beginning to materialize in the east. He sighed as he slid across the soft fabric and rose slowly from the couch, stretching his hands above his head, shaking the last bits of sleep from his lithe body. Looking at the clock on the wall, he determined that it was a little after five, still too early for anyone else in the home to rise. Deciding that now was a better time than any, he gathered his clothing and headed for the bathroom for a much-needed shower, his body still sticky and dusty from the night before_. Not that I'm complaining_…

The night had been a rough one, but also a beautiful one in its own angst-ridden way. _I still don't understand why my emotions are so hypersensitive right now…This is so out of my character…I have to do something about this before the others begin to pick up on it and find something else to hold over my head…ugh…no freaking pun intended_!

As he entered the bathroom, he set his clothing down and turned the shower on, full blast and full heat. Grabbing a towel, he removed his shirt, letting the water in the shower warm up. He knew that this emotional phase was not something that he experienced on a regular basis or ever for that matter. The last time he had experienced such emotional turmoil was after 'the incident' almost five years ago. This, he realized very clearly, was not something that he could allow to continue for much longer.

He closed the bathroom door and removed the rest of his clothing, stepping into the steaming shower slowly, letting his cool skin adjust to the extreme heat of the water cascading over his taut muscles.

After closing his eyes to allow the relaxation to set into his tense muscles, he ducked his head under the massaging spray, thoroughly drenching his hair. The feeling of the hot water on his cheeks and forehead helped most of the aching tension and tightness melt away. Dipping his hand under the pump, he squirted a generous amount of shampoo into his palm, working it into a lather in his hands. Massaging the bubbles into his white tresses, he purified his scalp to satisfaction, before ducking back under the water to rinse the soap from his head.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the washcloth he had set out and used the green bar of soap to lather the washcloth up. After setting the soap back in its place, he began to slide the cloth across his torso, raking it up his left arm, then his right, across his chest, and down his abdominals. He was about to continue down the lower half of his body when the squeaking of the bathroom door opening interrupted him, startling him slightly. Nervously, he glanced over the opaque glass of the bottom half of the shower through the transparent glass of the upper half. He saw the familiar shock of orange hair and sighed in relief. _Good, it's only him_…_now, if he could just figure out how to knock first_…

As the orange hair slowly moved toward the sink, opening the medicine cabinet to remove a toothbrush, he heard the voice inquiring, "Hey Hitsugaya, are you okay in there? It's really early, man. It's not good to be up right now."

Taking a moment to decide how to respond, he smiled softly and answered, "I actually slept better and feel more rested than I think I have felt in a very long time. So yes, everything is okay. But what about you? Why are you awake so early?"

He could hear the smile in his voice as the words responded; "I always get up this early..."

_Liar…_Toushirou thought_…he's just been up all night with Rukia doing God knows what and now he can't sleep…yeah…I heard them last night_.

As he finished his shower, turning the faucet off, he grabbed the towel hanging from the top of the shower door. Wrapping the towel around his hips, he opened the door and tossed his wrung out washcloth into the hamper in the corner. As he moved to stand on the left side of the long mirror he was sharing with Ichigo, he noticed that the shower had left a nice layer of pink on his cheeks, shoulders, and chest. He tilted his head and frowned slightly at this, having not ever seen this shade on his body before. "See something you don't like?" asked Ichigo sarcastically.

Toushirou raised an eyebrow at him and asked, "No, why? Do you see something you DO like?"

At the taunt Ichigo burst out laughing, nearly choking on his toothbrush, "Touché…Hitsugaya, touché…"

Toushirou allowed himself to grin at his own joke as he located his own toothbrush, squeezing a small amount of paste onto the bristles. He saw Ichigo move to put his toothbrush away out of the corner of his eyes. "So, Hitsugaya, what were you and my little sister discussing so late last night. As I recall it was after midnight when you both finally returned. You still weren't here when Rukia and I got in and that was at 1:30a.m. Tell me, should I be worried about anything?" Ichigo said, cocking his head to look at Toushirou.

Clearing his throat softly, Toushirou met his eyes and answered, "That you should be worried about? No. That you should be curious about? Probably. That you will be told any time soon by either one of us? Absolutely not."

She heard Ichigo snicker slightly, "Heh...Hitsugaya…Did you bang my sister last night?"

It was Toushirou's turn to almost choke on his toothbrush, spitting the paste out before it could creep down his throat. "What?!" He exclaimed, "Why would I do that?!"

Ichigo shrugged and made a coy look, "You both seem to be getting rather close. And I know she's missed you these last six years. Plus she hasn't really gotten any action in a while."

Toushirou could feel a vein begin to enlarge itself in the top right of his left temple as Ichigo began to touch on a subject that the young captain really wasn't interested in hearing from him. "I don't know how long it's been for you, but the last few times she was ever intimately with a guy, things got ugly. That was four or five years ago though, so it's been a while. I was just giving you a heads-up if you ever decided you did want to bang her. It might be harder than you think. She's got kind of a metaphorical chastity belt thing going on with herself since the incidents. Just thought it might be useful for you to know…for future reference, you know?" he said, smirking slightly.

Toushirou looked slightly unnerved, both with Ichigo's assumption and the recently uncovered history lesson on Karin. "Well, Kurosaki, if I ever wanted to 'bang your sister', as you so tactfully put it, I wouldn't openly tell you. It's not your business. Plus, she is much too young for me."

As Toushirou lied through his teeth, Ichigo gathered the rest of his things and started the shower, throwing a towel over the door and pulling his shirt off. Toushirou grabbed a hand towel and began to dry his torso, gazing over the scars that were randomly scattered among the dips in the muscles and bones. "Damn, where did you get that wicked scar on your back there? It's freaking crazy looking." Ichigo gawked at the mark on the young captains back.

Toushirou knew exactly which scar he was talking about without having to look. _This is why a don't walk around half-naked_…Originating in the valley between his shoulder blades, the shiny streak of marred, purple flesh stretched all the way down under the dip in the scapula ending in the hollow groove directly below his bottom right rib on the front of his abdomen. He sighed at the memory of the pain it had caused, remembering the stinging, tearing burn of the blade hot against his skin. "It is just a memento from the final battle, courtesy of Kaname Tösen. It was intended for a good friend of mine. I couldn't stand by and do nothing as my friend was impaled by his zanpakuto. I guess it's just a small price I pay for loyalty to my men."

He heard Ichigo hiss in reply behind him as he opened the shower door and entered, closing it behind him. Toushirou finished drying himself and quickly slipped on a pair of faded jeans that fit right at the hips, exposing the waistband of his now sky blue boxers. The shredded hole in the right knee was not what he was used to wearing, but he found that it was something that he could tolerate for now.

Tossing his previous clothing into the plastic bag as directed, he grabbed another towel and began to dry his damp hair, rubbing the towel vigorously through the white downy softness. After tossing the towel into the hamper, he ran his fingers through his hair, allowing it to revert to its usual spiky style.

Taking one last look in the mirror, Toushirou grabbed his socks and shirt and exited the bathroom, heading back to the couch to clear the sheets. The hallway was very dark and silent, as no one had woken yet. He treaded softly, hearing only the soft padding of his feet against the hard wood floor. Reaching the couch, he set his remaining clothing on the armchair and began to fold the sheets neatly, stuffing them into the seat of the armchair as he finished.

Going back to grab his clothing, he sat and pulled both black socks onto his feet, then pulling his dark navy blue, collared T-shirt over his head, unfolding the hem to cover the waistline of his pants. Walking over to the windowsill, he leaned on his palms, looking out into the barely brightening sky, losing himself in thought again. "Well, that's a pretty picture…"

Toushirou jumped slightly at the voice that interrupted his thoughts, turning quickly to see the sleepy form of Karin, still clad in her sleepwear, leaning against the back of the couch. Looking like she had just rolled out of bed, her knee-length, black athletic shorts hung snuggly off of her hips. Much to his surprise and shock, her lower stomach was displayed for his surprised eyes below her tight, black camisole top, her naval peaking out from beneath the fitted hem. Her black hair was wavy and disheveled, draping lightly over her shoulders, her cheeks still pink from sleep.

He found himself staring intensely at her, almost missing the steps she took towards him. As she came to him, she wrapped her arms around him, running her hands down his smooth shirt. Feeling slight bits of the overnight morning-after nerves and his resolve returning, he decided that a hug was the most that needed to occur. After hugging her back, he gently removed her arms from around his waist and looked her in the eye, "How are you feeling?"

She smiled at him and shrugged, "Pretty good."

He snickered, "Pretty good, huh? And why might that be?"

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, I don't know. It could be that some strange white-haired kid that thinks he is some kind of important person decided that he wanted the let me take advantage of him…wait…nah…that's not it. I guess I just don't know."

Just as Toushirou was realizing the full extent of his actions that previous night, feeling more and more unsure that they were appropriate and acceptable, he was taken aback by a sudden insertion of input from an unexpected outside source, "Took advantage of you, huh? Wait, Hitsugaya, I thought you said you DIDN'T bang my sister last night…Oh wait…I get it. She banged YOU." The laughing voice of Ichigo filled the living room as he entered the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice.

Toushirou could feel a vein begin to pop out of his forehead, engorged much more prominently than the last, "Damnit, Kurosaki, I did not have sexual relations of any kind with your sister. Get it through your thick skull."

Ichigo simply smiled and said, "Ok. Ok…you don't have to get all defensive about it. I don't judge. Even though that would be totally out of both of your characters. It's okay though. Whatever floats your boat…"

"ICHIGO!" Both of the people in question yelled rather loudly, threatening to wake the rest of the house if he refused to desist in his attempts at humiliating the couple.

"Okay, okay…got it." He said, before disappearing into his bedroom with the glass and a piece of toast, the click of the lock clearly audible.

"Lord, he's one that should be talking. I'm not sure what was more disturbing: His and Rukia's spirit pressure, or the creaking of the bed as it hit the wall, thumping all the way through to my side, lending me all of the wonderful, pleasure-filled sounds. Ugh…" Karin cringed, shaking the thought from her mind.

Toushirou shook his head at the thought. Picturing Ichigo and Rukia doing anything in the least bit obscene was not something that needed to be occurring right now, "Well, we're leaving for Soul Society at noon, so you need to be ready and able by that time. You should go get dressed and find something to eat. We need to go meet with Yoruichi and the others at Urahara's shop. Go on, I'll meet you outside in twenty minutes. We can go kill time until we have to be somewhere."

She smiled and turned to walk to her room. "Kay, see you then."

Toushirou walked out of the front door, toeing his black tennis shoes onto his feet en route. As the sun hit his face, he closed his eyes at the familiar warmth of it. Breathing in deeply, he walked to the sidewalk, leaning against the streetlight as he waited for Karin. _What am I going to do now? We can't just show up in Soul Society holding hands and cuddling, not that I'm that type of guy anyway. For one thing, it would cause quite a stir. Second, I'm not sure if it is entirely legal for me to be seeing someone that isn't dead yet. Oh well, at least all that's happened is a kiss. As long as we keep it this way then there should be no future problems between us. Technically, we aren't doing anything that could have serious repercussions. I just have to nip this in the bud immdiately_…

His thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening and closing in rapid succession. A smiling Rukia walked over to him and greeted him, "Good morning, Captain Hitsugaya, how is your morning?"

He sighed and replied, "Though it had an early start, it appears to be a decent day. How about yours, Kuchiki?"

She smiled with a slightly suspicious grin, "Mine is wonderful…"

And with that she walked off down the street, obviously in the direction of Urahara's shop. Toushirou shook his head and grinned slightly._ Funny that Rukia is in the same predicament as me, though she doesn't seem to care as much. Getting caught doesn't seem to really worry her, even though she and Ichigo participate in much more incriminating activity. Odd that_…

Once again, his thoughts were broken as she saw Karin walking toward him out of the corner of his eye, "I'm ready now. Sorry I took so long. I didn't want to wake Yuzu so I had to get in my closet a lot slower than normal. Anyway, where too?"

Toushirou took in the sight of her as he listened to her speak. Her low-rise, boot-cut faded jeans fit snuggly on the hips and covered the tops of her black and white, classic high-top converse. Her shoulders were bare around her spaghetti-strapped, baby blue tank top that dipped in an almost provocative v-neck, causing his resolve to falter ever so slightly. Her hair was straightened and pulled back into a low pony-tail a few strands hanging carelessly in her face, framing it for a casual look. Avoiding her eyes to regain his composure, he said, "We can go get something to eat if you'd like."

She grinned and as if on cue, her stomach gave a loud protest, "I think that's a good idea."

He smirked slightly and turned to the right, following the sidewalk down to the corner. "I noticed a few places when I was on the way to your house the other night. I thought that at least one might strike your fancy."

She followed him, taking in his image as well, cocking a brow when she noticed the hole in the knee of his jeans. "Since when did you where clothes with holes in them? Last I checked you were only into the clean, neat-looking preppy clothes." Karin joked lightly, still looking at the subject in question.

Toushirou rolled his eyes and could feel a small vein swelling, once again, in his head, "It wasn't my choice. This was the clothing that I was given to where on my gigai. I didn't really have any say in the matter. Why?"

She shook her head, "Ah, no reason. Just though that it seemed a bit out of character for you, that's all. Not that I'm complaining or anything…"

He cocked a brow slightly at her, but said nothing as they entered the part of town with all of the restaurants. "So, what are you in the mood for?"

He watched as she pondered for a moment before she stated, "Let's go to McDonald's. Everyone can find something to eat there. Follow me."

With a slightly confused look, he followed her silently, not questioning her statement. As they reached the Golden Arches, they entered the restaurant, quickly going to the counter, "So, what do you want?" Karin asked him.

He stared at the menu blankly before she finally talked him through a few items, settling on a simple sausage, egg and cheese biscuit. After she order his food and herself a McGriddle, they made their way to the nearest booth, sitting across from one another to talk and wait for their order. "So, what's going to happen when we get to Soul Society?" Karin asked, curiously.

Toushirou took a gulp of his drink and answered, "Well, we'll enter through the appointed Senkai gate and wait for the rest of the group to enter. Then we will retire to our quarters. We will set you up in the chamber as the right neighbor of mine, since I am charged with responsibility of you, and get you settled in. We will have a little bit of free time to show you around before we have to get to the Seated Officer Meeting. That is where we will take care of Urahara and Ichigo's business. After that, everyone that is not a captain will be dismissed and you will remain for the captain's meeting. I am going to have a private chat with Yamamoto before we leave today so that your abilities will not come as a surprise tonight. We will discuss your appointment and come to an executive decision as to what is to be done. Then, there is usually a small reception or 'party' immediately following the meeting. Usually, the Vice Captains and the more frisky Captains have their own little party in the 10th Division Headquarters, thanks to Matsumoto and much to my chagrin. After the party, we return to our chambers and retire for the night."

"Cool. What's so wrong with the Vice-Captain party? You say I like it's a real pain." Karin inquires.

Toushirou sighs heavily, "It IS a pain. It is thrown by Matsumoto and usually involves more alcohol than anyone in their right mind should be able to put away…"

After they had finished eating, they exited the building and made their way to Urahara's shop. Upon entering they were met by a thick silence as it was only six thirty and no one had yet risen. Karin made her way down to the basement to get her things in order as Toushirou entered the small room with the communication device in it. Entering his personal code, he waited for the face of the Head Captain on the screen.

Only after a few moments, the bearded face materialized, gazing at him with curiosity and respect. "Good morning, Captain Hitsugaya, you wanted to speak with me. You said that it was of great importance. I am anxious to hear this news."

Toushirou took a breath and bowed slightly before beginning, "The other night I was speaking with Karin Kurosaki. She told me some things that were shocking to say the least. Upon her reading the letter, she immediately told me that she was already a Soul Reaper."

At those words, the Head Captain's face changed slightly in a mix of surprise and amusement. "Oh really. So, what is the report on how her powers are developing and their origins, if she revealed them?"

Toushirou continued, "Her powers were awakened approximately five years ago, manifesting themselves in dreams before becoming her unreleased blade. Her zanpakuto is called Seika, or Sacred Fire. It manifests itself as glowing red blade that darkens as it approaches her opponent…" He trailed off hesitantly, causing Yamamoto to tilt his head slightly. He was beginning to wonder if it was really a smart idea to reveal the next fact…

"What is it, Captain Hitsugaya, your hesitance says that there is more to the story."

He sighed, having his mind made up for him, and stated, "She is a kido master and has also recently achieved Bankai…"

Yamamoto then looked extremely surprised, "Really now, well, that changes a few things…"

Meanwhile, in the basement of the shop, Karin was gathering her things together to get out of the way in their absence. She walked out and grabbed an apple from the kitchen, plopping down on the pillow beside the round table. She reclined on the edge, listening to the quiet of the house, taking a bite out of the juicy fruit. She wondered what the old and young captains were talking about. _Of course it's me, but I wonder what they're going to do with me. This has the potential to get very interesting_…

Toushirou exited the room, closing the door quietly behind him as he let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. _This could be a good thing or a bad thing_… He made his way down the hall, watching as the rooms never stirred in the darkness. _They should all be waking soon. It's getting along towards day_…

He stopped when he noticed the dark head seated against the table, biting on the round fruit. He came to sit beside her, resting his chin on his palm. "This is going to be a long day…"

She sighed, "Tell me about it..."

As the day wore on and everyone had woken, they all congregated in Urahara's shop. Toushirou watched as the group anxiously awaited departure. Rukia and Ichigo were sitting beside one another, their clasped hands hidden in the folds of her pink sundress. Yoruichi was speaking with Urahara about something and Rangiku, Izuru, and Renji were drinking tea and conversing softly, most likely recovering from hangovers.

Toushirou took the time to play absentmindedly with the hole in his jeans. Picking the threads even further, he gave up on the propriety of not having holes and realized that he was going to leave this gigai behind in the not too distant future. Sitting himself between Karin and Rangiku, he rested his chin in his right palm and rotated his cup of tea, admiring the china cup. "You okay there, Captain? You look disturbed."

He closed his eyes in defeat at the voice of his Vice Captain. "If there was something bothering me I would have announced it already, Matsumoto."

Slightly taken aback by his harsh tone, though realizing all too well that it must be directly related to whatever was bothering him, Matsumoto decided that pressing the matter further was probably not the smartest action to take. Knowing her Captain from years of observation, she knew when to press forward and when to let go. This was the latter time, so she resigned herself to finishing her large steaming cup of green tea.

As the few remaining Soul Reapers filed into the small room, the atmosphere was soon bustling with activity. Rukia, Ichigo, and Urahara were engaged in a deep conversation about the use of Mod Souls, whereas Renji, Izuru, and Rangiku were silently kneading their temples and finishing their tea. But across the room, piercing golden eyes were peering over at the still, silent forms of Karin and Toushirou.

Making her way slowly and subtly across the room, Newly appointed Captain of the 9th Division Squad, Yoruichi Shihoin, came to light between the two young Soul Reapers, startling them slightly. "So, what's the problem? Neither of you have said a word to anyone his morning and frankly it looks suspicious and unnerving."

Toushirou sighed and replied, fibbing once again to placate a fellow Soul Reaper, "I am only ready to return to Soul Society. This place and body exhaust me…"

Yoruichi appeared to warily and hesitantly accept the answer before turning to Karin and informing, "When you get settled into Soul Society, I arranged for you to meet and train with a former protégé of mine. She is the Captain of the 2nd Division Squad and, her name is Soifon. She is a master of Kido and is a perfect teacher for you. I think that you will work very well together."

Following the comment was a small smile from Karin and the curt exit of Yoruichi as she sauntered over to Urahara to strike up some friendly banter with him. For some reason, there was a new awkwardness surrounding the pair of younger Soul Reapers. Karin was currently wondering why the air suddenly felt heavier, a silent tension softly suffocating her_. What is the matter with him? He's been acting so strange and distant this morning…was it something I said_?

Her answer lay in the whirling mind of the snowy haired Captain to her left. His thoughts were racing as he attempted to hone in on the solution to his stress. In a very short amount of time that he had spent in the World of the Living, he had managed to break two of his own three rules. He had broken down in front of someone, which he swore he would never again do. He had also, in a moment of weakness, let his guard down and had allowed unnecessary feelings to bleed through. _I cannot continue to feel this way or allow this to progress any further. I promised myself that I would never break down and I would never fall for another. That is something that I cannot afford to become lax on. I know what I have to do this time. Besides, she's just a child. I cannot steal another's innocence again_…

As the day drew closer to noontime, and the departure time, everyone was becoming restless, anxious for different reasons to enter Soul Society. So when the Hell Butterflies entered through the glowing Senkai gate, the large group quickly, with little hesitation, stepped into the ethereal mist and began the long walk through the violet tunnel…


	10. Never Look Back

Chapter 10: Never Look Back

If you were to ask the young frosty captain what turned him on, you would have received nothing short of an infamous scowl, a bulging vein in his forehead and a curt, "I shall not grace such lewd inquisitions with an answer."

As such, that was exactly what was occurring. He silently scowled at the cherub face of his voluptuous Vice-Captain with a moody contempt following his sharp answer. "Aww…but Captain. Everyone else is telling. It's only right that you should join in on the fun as well!" the redheaded woman whined.

"I care not for your silly adolescent party games. I have paperwork to finish, which is something that you should consider doing unless you would like to be up to your nose in it for another two weeks…" The young tendo rolled his eyes and made his way to his desk across the room, his thoughts becoming slightly unsettled.

Such was the atmosphere of a Meeting After-Party in the 10th Division Headquarters. Many had gathered in the cozy office, and consequently the saké was flowing and the verbal diarrhea had commenced. There was quite a crowd clustered in the center of the room. Renji and Kira were leaning over the coffee table pouring more saké to the masses. Ichigo, Rukia, and Shunsui were playing some ghastly drinking game on the loveseat. Shuuhei, Ukitake, Amagai, Yoruichi, and Urahara were all packed together on the couch discussing trivial things and laughing hysterically at something the young captain cold not make out. He wouldn't deny it that this setting was not his favorite. He rather detested the frivolous acts of his Vice-Captain, who was currently starting a keg stand with Ikkaku, Yumichika, and some seated officer from the 11th Squad. It was going to be more difficult to concentrate than he initially thought. And this paperwork was the most important that he would ever do for this squad. It was the last paperwork that would ever be signed by his pen for the 10 Division…

Assuming that this was a better time than later, he allowed his thoughts to travel back the meetings that had taken place no more than an hour ago…

_"Damn, this place is freaking huge!" Karin gawked at the sight of the enormous gate that surrounded the city. _

_Toushirou led the group to the entrance hall where they all dispersed, going their separate ways. He led Karin to the 10__th__ Division headquarters in silence. Upon entering the small office, he sat behind his desk as she plopped down on the couch. "Cozy little place you've got here, Toushirou."_

_He sighed and picked up his pen to begin the paperwork that was already piling up in his absence. "There are a few things that you need to know before you go into these meetings and completely humiliate yourself. First, you are going to have to refrain from calling the Captains and Vice-Captains by their given names. It is considered a sign of disrespect to not use honorifics for superiors. So from now on, it's Captain Hitsugaya to you until I instruct you otherwise. The same will go for Vice Captains Matsumoto, Abarai, and Kuchiki, and Captain Shihoin."_

_Karin leaned back against the back of the couch, arching her back and back-bending upside down to lock eyes with the snowy captain, "Ooh…back to all of that elite stuff from way back when I first found out about you."_

_Not looking up from his paperwork, Hitsugaya replied, "Exactly. Now hush. I don't want to be buried in this paperwork all night. I'd like to be rid of it before the meetings."_

_As he attempted to finish the small stack of papers, he noticed that, though Karin was succeeding in being quiet enough for his needs, she was still managing to be extremely distracting. He glanced up to see her playing rather conspicuously with the threads on the pastel colored couch. Then, much to his surprise and amusement, she dug in her small hand bag and extracted a small sewing kit. Watching silently, he peered at the way she popped a piece of thread through the needle and tied it in a knot with her tongue, snipping the thread with her teeth. He frowned slightly as she began to quickly stitch up a frayed tear in the corner of the couch. His eyes widened slightly as she moved at lightning speed and stitched the tear in a matter of seconds. "What are you doing?" he voiced softly. _

_She rolled her eyes and replied, knotting the end of the stitch and biting the remaining thread off, "Building a drawbridge… what does it look like I'm doing?"_

_Hitsugaya rolled his eyes back at her comment before speaking, "You know what I mean. How did you learn to do it that fast."_

_At this she smiled and cocked her right brow, "Just a few tricks I learned from a friend of the family."_

_After putting away her needle and thread, she stood and walked over to the window across the room, overlooking the sakura trees and small pond outside. He followed her movements as she sat on the edge of the window ledge and propped her feet against the left part of the sill. Crossing his arms across his chest, he let out a sigh. "Is something the matter?" he asked. _

"_Tch…nah…just a little tired, I guess." She replied, staring out at the pink blossoms fading slowly from the trees as the cool breeze nipped at her skin, foretelling the approaching cold weather. _

_He frowned slightly as he realized that she was lying. He sighed in exasperation, "Ok, well why don't you tell me the truth now…?"_

_She looked at him quickly, startled slightly at the unspoken accusation. After a few moments she recovered, letting a small smirk play on her lips, "So, you're an intuitive little bastard, too I see…"_

_Hitsugaya didn't know whether to be angry, shocked, or amused by her brash comment. Settling for the least violent of the three he retorted, "So I see that you are a cheeky little brat…"_

_She smiled slyly and resumed her reverie as he returned to the abandoned paperwork. Time had passed by slowly until the meetings commenced. Hitsugaya escorted Karin to the Meeting Hall where all of the other seated officers that cared to attend had gathered. _

_Small round tables were set up with clothes the color and flower of each squad. Hitsugaya glanced around the room taking a silent attendance in his mind. On the far right was the 13__th__ squad with Captain Ukitake, Vice-Captain Kuchiki, and Third seats Kiyone and Sentaro. From the 12__th__ division sat Captain Kurotsuchi and Vice-Captain Nemu at the purple table. The 11__th__ squad provided Captain Zaraki, Vice-Captain Yachiru, and Third Seat Ikkaku Madarame. _

_  
As Hitsugaya and Karin seated themselves beside Matsumoto at the emerald green table, Hitsugaya continued his mental checklist. The 9__th__ squad consisted of Captain Yoruichi and Vice Captain Hisagi. The 8__th__ squad was incomplete, though he could see Shunsui being led in by his Vice-Captain Nanao. The 6__th__ division table sat Captain Kuchiki and Vice-Captain Abarai in their usual silence. Captain Unohana and Vice Captain Kotetsu occupied the 4th Division table and the 3__rd__ Division aquamarine colored table was filled with Captain Amagai, Vice-Captain Kira, and the new Third Seat Akiko. The 2__nd__ Squad leaders Captain Soifon and the newly appointed Vice Captain Yumichika sat in friendly chatter at the orange table. The 7__th__ and 5__th__ Division tables sat eerily empty as a memorial, for they had neither a captain nor a vice-captain following the War against Aizen._

_As he wrapped up his mental count, he noticed that Urahara was seating himself beside Yoruichi as he watched Ichigo make his way over to the 10__th__ Division's table, taking a seat beside his sister, who was shifting anxiously in her seat. "What's wrong Karin, you seem a bit agitated." Kurosaki inquired as he placed a hand on his sister's shoulder protectively. _

_Hitsugaya watched as the two talked themselves through the day and caught up with the other's activities. Silence began to spread through the hall as the Head Captain Yamamoto entered the room, taking a seat at the Head table. "Good evening to all of you. I trust that those have recently returned from the material world have settled back in accordingly and that the newcomers have adjusted well. Now, to commence this meeting I ask that Ichigo Kurosaki please step to the front."_

_At his name Ichigo winced slightly, but stood and did as instructed, "Here goes nothing…"_

_Standing before the Head Captain and the rest of the Court, he breathed deeply, pushing away the nerves at what was to come. The Head-Captain stood and took a few paces forward, leveling himself with the young man. Placing his staff in front of him he called the Courts attention with the announcement, "Tonight we gather together to discuss a matter of appointment. It has come to the elite's attention that this young man, Ichigo Kurosaki, has shown an extraordinary amount of talent and power throughout the recent wartime. Because of his immense power and latent abilities, I move that we do something that has never been done before in the history of Soul Society. I request that we consider the appointment of this Substitute Soul Reaper, Ichigo Kurosaki, to a seated officer position in the 13 Court Guard Squads."_

_At the announcement there were a variety of reactions, some catcalls from the 11__th__ Squad and gasps from the 2__nd__ Squad. Applause erupted from the 13__th__ squad and Karin whistled in agreement. The Head Captain raised his hand to silence the masses before continuing, "All in favor of the motion please stand."_

_At that, all in the room rose from their seats except Captains Kurotuschi and Soifon who still believed he was too rash for consideration. At the acknowledgement, Yamamoto dropped his hand and announced, "You have voted to appoint Kurosaki to the 13 Court Guard Squads. I shall discuss this with the captains and decide upon a seat for this young man. Kurosaki, you may be seated."_

_As Ichigo made his way back to his seat, applause began to fill the hall as several tables showed their support for the orange haired Substitute. Hitsugaya could see that the young human was trying desperately not to display the proud smile that tried to touch his features. As Ichigo sat back down beside his sister, she grabbed his arm and shook him a bit, "You know, you CAN smile… I promise they won't go Bankai on you."_

_Ichigo chuckled at the statement and allowed the boyish smile to grace his face. Karin smiled back, her white smile glittering in the candlelight. Distracting himself from the pretty sight, Hitsugaya glanced back at the Head Captain, awaiting the next topic of business. Yamamoto brought his staff back to his side and took his seat as the hall became silent once again. "I now wish to address a more lighthearted subject. It seems that we have an important holiday approaching in the next few weeks. Two weeks from today there will be a celebration in honor of all of the current and former captains and vice captains of the 13 Court Guard Squads. An invitation is extended to all current and former members of the 13 Squads as well as a few special guests from the Material World. The invitations will be delivered within the next week. I hope to see all of your bright shining faces there. And with that, this meeting is adjourned. All captains and special guests please remain. All others, you are now dismissed. Have a safe night."_

_As the older man took his seat, all of the vice captains and seated officers rose and began to leave the hall. Rangiku walked over to Karin and hugged her tightly, "Good luck, Lil' Kuro…I hope everything goes well. You have to tell me all about it at the party later." _

_As she turned to leave, the red head turned to Hitsugaya and cocked her brow, "Try to play nice, Captain. Remember, she's new here."_

_The young white haired captain rolled his eyes in exasperation and shooed his vice captain out of the hall. "That woman… why I've never had her transferred is a question that still remains a mystery to me."_

_Karin giggled at him slightly before having her attention drawn by the movement of all of the Soul Reapers in the white haori forming two single file lines in front of the Head Captain. She looked over at Hitsugaya for instruction as he nodded for her to wait on the side as he took his place between the 8__th__ and 12__th__ Division captains. As the Head Captain stood once more, he motioned for the young girl to take her place at the front of the 'throne' at the end of the two lines. She hesitantly took her spot, looking slightly out of place with her tattered black training robes that she had appeared in as a Soul Reaper in spirit form. _

_Hitsugaya heard the voice of the 8__th__ Division captain whispering in his ear, "That one's a real looker. You should probably hold onto her. You shouldn't let something like that get away from you."_

_The young captain bit his lip before answering to the older man beside him, "It's not my place. We are of two different worlds and two very different personalities. Besides, I'm not ready or looking for a romantic relationship at the moment."_

_He heard the man beside him snicker slightly, "Suit yourself. But I'm not worried. You'll change your tune. And I'll say 'I told you so' when you do…"_

_Hitsugaya sighed and shook all negative thoughts from his head, this was not something that deserved the energy of concentration at the present moment. He reverted his attention to the meeting at hand, watching as Yamamoto took a few paces forward and called the meeting to order. "As some of you may not know, this young woman standing before us has been summoned because of our decisions regarding Ichigo Kurosaki. Young lady, will you please state your name, age, and status?"_

_She nodded, taking a deep breath before lifting her chin slightly, much like her brother, "I'm Karin Kurosaki, age 18, an Earth-bound Soul Reaper."_

_At those words the captains burst into chatter. "Kurosaki! What relations does she have to Ichigo…?" "An Earth-bound Soul Reaper…those haven't been seen in several hundred years…" "Why is she here…?"_

_A sharp thumping of the staff on the marble floor silenced the commotion. "I suppose we should answer some questions before we begin here. This young woman before us is the younger sister of Ichigo Kurosaki. She is what we call an Earth-bound Soul Reaper, in that she was born a Soul Reaper and attained her powers in much the same way that one attains them here in Soul Society. However, she is still a human, alive in the World of the Living, making her much like her own brother. You are all correct that it has been several hundred years since there was another Earth-bound Soul Reaper, but it is not a dangerous or negative thing at all. It just means that she was born with an extraordinary amount of spirit energy that has somehow managed to manifest itself in the form of spirit power and allotted her special powers and abilities. Now for the bad news…"_

_At this, the captains began to chatter once again, Hitsugaya's heart dropping slightly at the notion of what was to come. "I ask that young Hitsugaya please explain the latter."_

_The young Captain took a deep breath, pushing away all irrelevant thoughts as he averted his eyes to the beams across the walls of the hall, "She is what we call the 'Millennial Guardian,' a Soul Reaper that comes around once every few centuries as an omen of imminent war or danger. In old texts, it is written that the 'Millennial Guardian' will bring about the end of the traditional ways of the people. She brings forth a new way of living and fighting, proving that the familiar ways are insufficient and outdated. If she is received with acceptance and open minds, the Seiretei can benefit extremely, but if not, then she will cease to be the 'Millennial Guardian' and fall back into the ranks as a forgotten Soul Reaper and negative repercussions will occur…"_

_The Head Captain smiled as he bowed his head slightly, "Spoken by the true heavenly Protector Guardian, also born every few centuries…"_

_Many Captains gasped sharply at the latter comment as Hitsugaya's eyes widened slightly as he averted them to the floor, not knowing how to address that. "Yes, Captain Hitsugaya, you know what I speak of. Why do you shy away? You've known this for a long time."_

_The older Soul Reaper regarded the other captains, "Yes, The Protector Guardian, reborn into Soul Society from the soul of a Royal Guard of the King. His existence is an omen of the arrival of the 'Millennial Guardian,' and his purpose is the location and protection of this being." _

_Hitsugaya could feel his breath catch in his throat as Karin's eyes met his from across the floor. He saw not fear or anger in her eyes, but understanding and resolution, awe and wonderment. He mouthed a silent 'I'm sorry' to her before turning back to the Head Captain. The old Soul Reaper motioned for him to move, "Hitsugaya, please come to stand beside Miss Kurosaki."_

_With a sigh of submission, Hitsugaya walked slowly down the two columns and took his stance next to the young woman. They looked at each other for a moment as he opened his mouth to say something, only to swallow his words in his throat, turning back to face his colleagues. "Some of you are asking yourselves, 'What does this mean?' Well, this requires that Miss Kurosaki be moved into the 13 Court Guard Squads immediately. I already have a plan set up for the arrangements. Captain Soifon, will you please summon Vice-Captains Abarai and Matsumoto and Kisuke Urahara and Ichigo Kurosaki? Their presence is required for the next step."_

_As his vice captain exited quickly, Yamamoto turned to the remaining captains and announced, "For the remaining decisions I ask that only Captains Hitsugaya, Ukitake, Kyoraku, and Unohana remain, as well as Miss Kurosaki. The remainders of you are dismissed."_

_As the other captains exited the hall in a muttering frenzy, the remaining few gathered in a single file line in front of the 'throne' as Hitsugaya turned to Karin, "I apologize for not speaking about this to you sooner. I only just found out about this myself earlier today–"_

_He was silenced by her smooth index finger over his lips, "Ssh… it's okay. I'm not angry. We'll talk later."_

_He was taken aback both by her sudden movement and her lack of contempt. Though, he didn't have much time to think about it as the summoned were now entering the hall. Matsumoto, Urahara, and Abarai took up positions on the left of Hitsugaya and Ichigo stood beside his sister, "What's going on?" he whispered to the two._

_A tap of the staff on the ground once more silenced the crowd. "Attention. You all have been required here for various reasons. First and foremost, Hitsugaya and Karin, you are the subjects of this topic. Veteran Captains, you are the last of the original 13 Court Guard Squads and your opinions are vital to this appointment as well as your rights to be the first notified to changes. Abarai, Matsumoto, Urahara, and Kurosaki, this will directly effect your positions within your squads. Now, to begin…"_

_Murmurs were heard vaguely amongst the vice captains and Ichigo, but were soon silenced by Yamamoto, "Here is my decision. Kisuke, you will be currently assigned to the position of Captain of the 7__th__ Division with Ichigo Kurosaki as your Vice Captain. I trust that this will be a smoothly operating placement?"_

_Eyes widened and heads nodded as Karin grasped her brother's shoulder and Abarai gave a 'Welcome back…' to Urahara. After the short bout of congratulations and pleasantries, Yamamoto cleared his throat once more, "Now for the tricky part…Hitsugaya, it is with both pride and apology that I inform you that you will no longer be Captain of Squad 10."_

_Gasps were heard throughout the space, but were soon silenced when Yamamoto shocked them all, "You are being transferred as Captain of the 5__th__ Division."_

_Hitsugaya's eyes grew and widened considerably, and he could hear the faint sigh of defeat from his vice captain to his left as she realized the meaning. What was said next even deepened everyone's shock, "Vice Captain Abarai, you are now being promoted to Captain of the 10__th__ Division and Matsumoto will remain as your Vice Captain."_

_The silence was suffocating as several emotions played on Abarai's face and Hitsugaya was rendered speechless. As if the situation couldn't dumb them anymore, Yamamoto put the cherry on top, "And Karin Kurosaki, you are to be seated as the Vice Captain of Squad 5 under Captain Hitsugaya…these changes will be effective immediately, starting tomorrow the move will begin. That is my decision, and if there are no further questions or concerns, we will begin the Haori ceremony in private…"_

_Silence filled the hall, answering the posed question, until Hitsugaya whispered, "I don't know if I can do that, Sir."_

_Before the Head Captain could respond, Matsumoto cut in gently, "Of course you can, Captain. It's not only your duty under orders, but the 5__th__ Squad needs you. Don't let the past events with Aizen deter you from your destiny and surely do not consider me as a reason. I will still be around, whether you like it or not. I was the one who discovered and prompted you, when you were but a small child, was I not? So go on, Captain, I was proud to call you such while you were mine, but now it is time for you to move forward and accept a new beginning. Move forward and never look back…"_

_Hitsugaya was pierced by the words, straight through to his very core. This was the voice of his stubborn, lazy, drunkard, and procrastinating vice-captain. But he'd be damned if she didn't speak the honest-to-God truth. With a soft 'Thank you, Matsumoto,' he allowed himself to nod in reply to the Head Captain._

_As the final nods of agreement were displayed, Yamamoto motioned for four servants. As they appeared, they each held white linens in their hands. Atop the linens were captain haori and vice captain badges. As the servants formed a line beside the Head Captain, he began the ceremony, "Before me stands the past, present, and future of the Seiretei. Each of you has earned your position in many different ways than the others. So, it is with great pride that I open this inaugural tradition. Kisuke Urahara and Ichigo Kurosaki, will you both please step forward."_

_As the disheveled man with the clogs and the upright young orange haired Substitute walked forward, the servants approached them slowly, kneeling and placing the linens on the floor. "Accept these symbols as reminders to all that you are the new protectors of the Court of Souls and all that is good and just. Kisuke, I welcome you back after many long years of misunderstanding and unfair treatment. Kurosaki, we welcome you into this court with full trust and faith in your abilities and judgment. May the both of you show these outward symbols with both pride and humility."_

_As the words were flowing, the servants picked up the haori and badge and placed them onto the appointed man. After the task, they both stepped back into rank beside the Head Captain. _

_Next, the Captain called Renji and Rangiku to the front. "Hitsugaya, I will be needing that haori you now possess."_

_With a nod, Toushirou slipped the white and emerald garment from his shoulders and walked over to the Captain-to-be. "Here you are, Renji, where it with care and don't disgrace the name of my squad…"_

_Renji smirked and patted the young captain on the shoulder as he made his way back to his waiting spot. As the Captain repeated the same speech, only shorter, the two newly appointed walked back to their original spaces. "And now finally," the Head Captain announced, glancing over at young Hitsugaya and Karin, "Toushirou Hitsugaya and Karin Kurosaki…"_

_The two moved simultaneously to the same spots as the previous four and waited their turn. "Hitsugaya, you have more than proven your worth in this court several times over and are living testament that hard work and instinct both factor into success and respect in this 'business.' Karin Kurosaki, you are still a young lady, but the awesome power you possess cannot be denied. Both of you are prodigies and rarities of your time and should take pride in that fact. And it is with both sorrow and joy that I bestow upon you the haori and badge of the 5__th__ Division that have long been sitting in a dark mausoleum of the Captains Archives. I don't even have to wonder if you will wear them well…"_

_And with that, Toushirou could feel the cool cloth of the white and teal haori slipping over his shoulders. He glanced over at Karin, noticing the servant in front of her had yet to move. The Head Captain explained with a simple request, "I am aware, Miss Kurosaki, that you have yet to obtain proper Soul Reaper hamaka. No worries."_

_With a small wave of his hand and closing of his eyes, a soft mist surrounded her, and as it cleared it was apparent that she was cloaked in the clean and new, traditional hamaka, her zanpakuto on her hip, looking exactly as she had the day that Hitsugaya had seen her train. "There, much better."_

_She glanced at herself, moving her arms to take in her own appearance, quite surprised at the sudden transformation. All eyes from the crowd averted themselves to the blood red hilt of the zanpakuto on her hip, as it was the first time for many to witness it. Having seen the new outfit, the servant proceeded and slid the 5__th__ Division Vice-Captain badge up her left arm, resting it just above her elbow before retreating back to his place. _

_After the servant had returned, Yamamoto concluded to ceremony with a few words, "Now, go forth and display your new ranks to the masses. Go and celebrate yourselves for this night alone, for I cannot promise that other days from here on shall be as forgiving and kind. Good evening and thank you for your understanding a cooperation."_

_After his words, he exited silently to his chambers, leaving the newly appointed members and the veteran captains to their thoughts. Rangiku and Renji embraced and reacquainted each other; "I guess this means I have to call you Captain now…" Matsumoto teased. _

_Urahara and Ichigo spoke amongst themselves, "Well, it looks like we ended up working together again after all…"_

_Finally the silence came to Hitsugaya and Karin who were currently just staring off into the space in front of them, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Hitsugaya turned to the young dark-haired girl and extended his hand, "Congratulations, I look forward to working with you, Kurosaki." _

_As she placed her hand in his, he grasped it firmly, holding it still for a moment, contemplating the warmth that emanated from it onto his cool palm. After moving it slowly up and down once, holding her gaze if only for a moment, he dropped it and turned sharply, exiting the hall briskly before anyone could say a word to him. _

_As he hurried down the dimly lit walkway to the 10__th__ Division office, he sighed and placed a hand over his forehead, running his fingers through his snowy white mane. He hadn't realized how much this would affect him. It had all gone by so fast and so unexpectedly that he was having a hard time taking it all in and processing it properly. Things were going to get very awkward soon. He just had a hunch…_

So he ended his thoughts as he averted his eyes sharply back down onto his paperwork. The soft brush of his pen was caressing the last bits of paperwork that he would ever do for the 10th Division. He allowed himself to sigh as the party was beginning to disperse and several members began to leave for their chambers. All that remained besides his Vice Captain were Renji, Ichigo, and Rukia. Rising from his chair and stretching his arms to the sides, he made his way over to the window, looking out at the same tree that the Kurosaki girl had admired earlier that day. It really was fading quickly. _Winter must be fast approaching…good…I could use a little stress-free enjoyment right about now_…

He was pulled from his thoughts by the hand of his soon-to-be-former Vice Captain as she stood beside him silently. "What are we going to do, Matsumoto? This just feels so wrong for some reason…"

He could feel the older Soul Reaper squeeze his shoulder softly as she exhaled, "We are going to meet this head on and do what we must. I know that this is going to be exceptionally hard for you. I don't blame you, for it would be hard for me to wear the haori of a traitor and see daily the badge of the one you loved and lost. It will be very painful to be reminded constantly of your failures and losses, but you must be strong about this, like the man that I know you to be inside. You have never given up, Captain, and I don't believe that you have it in you to do so now."

Hitsugaya sighed deeply and placed his right hand firmly atop the larger but feminine hand that rested on his left shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Besides, Hitsugaya, you will always be 'Captain' to me…and don't let anyone tell you otherwise…"

At those words of comfort and reassurance, Hitsugaya allowed a small grin to appear on the corners of his lips, "Thank you, Matsumoto…Thank you…"

After a few moments of silence, Matsumoto removed her hand and walked over to the couch, "Your welcome. Oh… and I think I'll put on some tea. You have someone coming that wishes to speak with you. She said it's very important…"

Hitsugaya allowed his head to drop slightly, for he knew exactly who it was going to be. As if to taunt him further, there was a light wrap on the sliding door to the office as Rangiku stood to open it. "Of course, come on in and make yourself comfortable. He'll be with you soon."

It was several minutes before Hitsugaya decided to finally turn around and face the young girl with the red zanpakuto. Staring at her for a few moments, he finally walked over to the couch and sat beside her, his eyes purposefully avoiding the badge on her left arm. She was the first to speak, breaking the tense silence, "You left so quickly that I didn't get to tell you that I was glad to be working with you too. I'm sorry if I have caused you any pain or stress, for it is not my intention to hurt you in any way. If there is anything that I can do to make you feel better, let me know. I only want to help you. You're my best friend and I can't stand to see you moping around or feeling bad…"

As she spoke, she silently reached for his hand, only to have him move it quickly to run his fingers back through his ivory hair. She frowned slightly, but covered her reaction quickly, pushing the hurt away from her. _We can't both feel bad right now_…

"Look, Toushirou, I'm not sure what happened to you in the last 24 hours, but you aren't yourself…"

He sighed and exasperated sigh before turned sharply to face her, "You apparently don't know me very well. This is the way that I am. The man that you saw back in the World of the Living was just a sad soul in a gigai. I was going through some lapse in character and resolve. That young teenager is no more. I am Captain Hitsugaya, wielder of Hyourinmaru, Captain of the 5th Division…"

She noticed his voice trail off softly at the end in an almost unsure tone. She didn't know what it was that had him so disenchanted with the 5th Division, but she knew that it was extremely painful for him and he wasn't going to broach the subject on his own. She was just going to have to do this manually…

"Toushirou, why are you having such a hard time with this…?"

Silence ensued for a few moments before the white-haired captain finally answered, "This squad is unstable. Our new squad is unstable. There hasn't been much success with being Captain of the 5th Squad by any means. Misfortune and betrayal are the only notable things that have ever come out of this squad…"

Another bout of silence, though shorter, followed the comment, "Then I guess we are just going to have to turn that around, aren't we? Look, they didn't put you in this position to fail. They put you in it to make this squad stronger and reclaim the dignity that once surrounded it. Don't let a dark past tarnish any hope for the future of this squad. Give it a chance."

With a sigh, Hitsugaya stood to leave, but not without stealing a painful glance at the badge that adorned the arm of the young girl before him. Tearing his eyes from the sight, he turned and took a step forward, only to feel the familiar feeling of warmth on his left forearm. A warmth that he recognized from years earlier when this same girl had once grabbed his arm and attempted to stop him from going after a hollow as they stood on that edge of the ravine. As they stood on the edge of the same ravine that he had shared an angst-filled night of pain and pleasure with the same girl grabbing onto his arm at that moment. The way that these years had gone full circle was enough to make him want to scream and laugh at the same time. "No, you aren't going anywhere until you tell me…"

Hitsugaya attempted to jerk his arm free, but was met with a firm grip, "Tell you what, Karin, what is it that you absolutely have to know that can't wait until tomorrow?"

Her eyes met his, piercing through his resolve and taking his attention hostage. Her eyes softened slightly as she glanced down at her badge at then met his gaze once more. She dropped his arm and slowly moved her hand to trace the soft engraving of the flower on the lightweight stone crest. Returning her stare back into his deep emerald eyes, she sighed and asked, "Who is she?"

Hitsugaya's eyes widened suddenly before he forced a look of indifference onto his features. "What on Earth are you talking about? Who is who?"

She sighed in exasperation before standing and taking a hold of both of his upper arms, tightening her grip on his toned biceps to stay him. "Who is she...? The one who wore this badge before me that hurts you so much to remember…"

At those words, Hitsugaya felt himself die a little inside. He had known that his would come up eventually, but he had hoped that it would be at a later date. As his mind raced, trying to think of a way to avoid this, he knew that it was futile. He closed his eyes and bowed his head in defeat. Letting out a breathe that he didn't even know he had been holding, he whispered barely loud enough for her to hear and still understand, "Her name was Momo Hinamori and she was everything to me…"

**A/N**: Well there is the end of Chapter 10. I am sorry that it took forever to get it up, but I've been stressing over college. I move out on Saturday and I have been getting everything in order so things will be a little slow for the next week or so, but I will get things updated. Have faith in me! So, how does everyone like it so far? I'm trying to ease into things because I really want to stay as true to the characters as I can without going to OOC. If you have any questions, suggestions, feedback, or anything constructive let me know. I am anxious for reviews. Well, I'm going to go to bed, seeing as it is 3:00 A.M. here in the U.S. and I am about to fall over. So R&R and give me some love while I sleep.


	11. To You

A/N: Whoo..wipes forehead Just moved into my dorm and settled in. This has been a stressful weekend…But anyway…I don't think y'all care about my life. Y'all wanna hear what happens next in the story? Well, here you go! R&R! I was very happy with the response from the last chapter. Thanx bunches!!

Chapter 11: To You

"_Her name was Momo Hinamori and she was everything to me…"_

He heard the almost inaudible sigh escape from the raven-haired girl's lips after he revealed the object of his pain. He could feel her grip on his biceps tighten ever so slightly before loosening to the point that he could barely feel her grip. There was a moment of heavy silence as both of their minds raced with tension and confusion. Toushirou could count the number of breaths that the both of them had expelled in the moments passing. Finally, barely above a whisper, he could catch the faint words, "So, she was…"

He allowed a moment to pass as he took in the young woman, so many decades younger then himself, faintly trembling in front of him. He could practically smell the fear and uncertainty oozing from her as she fought to avoid his hard stare. "A very complicated matter."

As soon as the words left his lips, he could feel her grip tighten once again as she darted her eyes to the front, locking onto his own cerulean orbs with such intensity he fought not to break the connection. Wavering under her piercing stare, he could feel his resolve wavering ever so slightly as she must have caught wind of her sudden approach. She loosened her hold on him once again, letting her hands slide down his arms and lock onto his wrists in a soft clasp.

He could hear her breathing softly, though faster than normal, as her eyes dropped to the floor. Biting her lower lip, she blinked her lids slowly before finally looking back into his eyes, a look of pure conflict playing in her own onyx gaze. "Would you care to elaborate…?"

The uncanny presence of these unsure emotions that had manifested themselves on her face were both frightening and calming at the same time. He had almost forgotten, though knew that she was still human and possessed these emotions, and somehow, it comforted him to know that even the strongest individuals fell prey to feelings sometimes.

He breathed softly as he continued to try to read her, the enigma of structure and balance in front of him. The sturdy young woman that had somehow managed to break down her walls for a moment and let him see her vulnerability as clear as the moon that now hung in that dark navy sky outside of his office window. Her eyes were glazed and tortured as she awaited his fateful reply.

"Not here…we need to go elsewhere."

She stared at him with further question in her eyes, a silent inquiry as to his meaning.

"Just follow me. I think I know where we can go…"

He turned over his shoulder, his wrists sliding from her grasp as he exited the office, her soft footsteps padding lightly behind him on the wood floors.

After walking in silence for sometime through the now silent streets of the Seiretei, they came to the desired destination. He glanced over his shoulder at the dark-haired girl behind him as he shunpo-ed swiftly up the sekki sekki wall, sitting slowly on top of the ledge overlooking the Rukongai, beckoning her to join him. As she came to light softly beside him, he looked out over the horizon, his eyes not really seeing, but drifting away into memories.

"This is the Rukongai, the place where every soul that is not a Soul Reaper dwells. This is where I called home not too very long ago. When I died in the World of the Living, I was reborn as a small child into this land. Hinamori found me, and we decided to become a family with another older lady that she had been staying with in the town. I guess you could say that Momo was like a sister, but there was always some amount of distance between us no matter how well we got to know each other or how close we became. When she left for the Soul Reaper Academy, she was so happy and carefree. Nothing could put her in a bad mood or dampen her high spirits."

He smiled faintly at the memory, remembering the times that things were so much easier. "She used to come home from school with a huge watermelon that she would cut into two halves and share with me as we watched the sun go down every evening. She would always make fun of me and call me childish names, promising that when I entered the Soul Reaper Academy and achieved shikai, she would begin to call me by a more grown up name."

Karin watched him carefully, studying the contours and features of his face. As he paused for a breath, she noticed that his face darkened suddenly, "But then, she started coming home less and less until finally, she stopped coming altogether. I should have seen the signs early on that something wasn't right with her. In the event that she did come home for the holidays or breaks, she would always keep to herself, seeming much more distant and lost in thought than before. She began to transform right in front of my eyes, becoming someone different than the person that I had grown up with. But somehow, she always managed to return to her old self when we would lay down to sleep at night, when the fatigue wore away the daily façade."

He stopped for a moment before continuing, his face stern and steady, "Eventually, we both were attending the Soul Reaper Academy. I quickly surpassed her as we went on to join the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. I became a captain shortly thereafter, causing her much elation as she had been promoted to a Vice-Captain. The only problem was her captain, Aizen."

At these words, she could see him visibly tense beside her, as if trying to undo the past, "She grew far too close to him, admiring anything and everything about him, even to the point of love, I think. Which was why…"

He trailed off at his next thought, unable to vocalize from shear hurt. His voice caught in his throat as he fought to not lose his composure, his jaw tightening and grinding in frustration. "Which is why she didn't fight back when he revealed himself as a traitor. He had her so far under his thumb that she would do and believe anything that he told her. It was sickening. She wasn't even her own person anymore."

The anger was rising in his voice, the temperature around them steadily dropping, "She gave everything up for him; her home, her skills, her mind, her body, and even those closest to her. He turned her against me when the time was right for him. It was just too easy for him with her that far-gone. He didn't even have to really try, just fake his death and write her a sad note. That was all it took for her to believe that he was really dead and that I had plotted to kill him. I didn't believe it at first. I thought it was a bad joke or a dream I would awaken from at any moment. But the morning never came…"

Suddenly, the temperature hit a record low, the hairs on Karin's arms standing rigid as goose bumps traveled down her spine. He breathed deeply, regaining his thoughts and sorting his words, "I died a little inside the day that she begged me to save him, knowing full well that he had tried to make her kill me and had attempted to kill her himself with his own zanpakuto. I felt betrayed, but I still loved her."

The defeat in his voice was becoming thicker with every word, "I tried to reason with her, but eventually it was no use. She defected to Hueco Mundo to reside with the three traitors and to once again become Aizen's little puppet. She was such until the day that I could take it no longer. I led the entire 10th Division into battle in Hueco Mundo a week later, under the order of the Head-Captain. She was found in one of Aizen's many hidden rooms, naked, bleeding from between her thighs, trembling from the cold, and half-starved. Her body was riddled with countless bruises, her eyes cold and lifeless. She had become a mere shell of the woman she had once been. The worst part of it was that she had been a test subject of his and, as a result, was in an aborted state of half-hollowfication. There was nothing that could be done, for the pain that she was enduring was unimaginable. She had become a toy to each of his lesser Arrancar, and they took advantage of her every night."

His voice faded as his eyes lowered to look at the ground far beneath them, his eyes glistening with tears that he refused to shed, "The third seat of my squad received orders to exterminate her, but Matsumoto was there, thank God. She stayed his hand and waited until I arrived. Upon seeing the broken woman in front of me, my heart shattered and I could only stare, too afraid to move or even breathe. Finally, Matsumoto informed me of the orders. She told me that she wouldn't allow anyone but me to carry out such a task. That was when I truly began to respect that crazy woman."

Karin could see the attempt at humor that never reached his eyes. His voice began to fade as he continued, the air thinning just a bit, "I had no choice though, I had to finish the job. It only took one stroke of my zanpakuto, but it was the hardest blow I ever had to deal. It was like cutting my own hear out of my body and leaving it to rot upon the frozen earth…"

He stopped to collect himself as Karin looked over him with a newfound respect and admiration, "I never really got over it. But circumstances as they were couldn't have been worse."

Karin sighed in understanding, "I can't imagine losing one of my siblings, but I do understand what it's like to lose someone very close to you. I was very young when my mother died, but I still remember the pain that it caused in my family and the hurt that lasts to this very day. I understand, Toushirou—"

"No!"

His exclamation caught her off-guard, "What…?"

"I said no, you don't understand. We weren't just siblings…"

She frowned for a moment, contemplating the statement. Suddenly, her eyes widened in realization of the deep confession that had just slipped from between those small, pink lips. "You were lovers?"

Hitsugaya turned to face her quickly, his shocked eyes meeting her own understanding ones before softening and facing back out at the dimly lit Rukongai, "You could say that. We only gave our virginity to one another. It never progressed past that. It was just one rainy night of pain and pleasure that happened and was never spoken of again. We just used each other to get past our pain and distract ourselves from the reality that was Aizen. You and Matsumoto are the only ones that know so I would appreciate it if it wasn't advertised and announce around the Soul Society or anywhere else for that matter…"

Toushirou nearly had the wind knocked out of him when the small, but strong palm cupped the left side of his chin firmly, hooking its thumb around the right side of his jaw and jerking his face to look at her. He was stunned and lost all thought for a moment at the audacity she had to make contact with him in such a way.

He was about to feel the fury rising in his chest when he noticed the stern look in her eyes that dared him to protest and argue. She wasn't going to have it. "Who in the blue hell do you think that I am? Do you honestly think that I would be so careless as to throw away our friendship on a juicy piece of gossip? Do you think that little of me, Toushirou?"

His eyes attempted to match her sternness, "I thought I told you. It's Captain Hitsugaya to you!"

Her eyes narrowed and she nearly snarled at him, "I don't give a shit about your fucking formalities right now, Toushirou. They mean nothing to me! You may be a captain in the 13 Court Guard Squads and you may be several decades older than myself, but I think that I know you better than you think and I deserve the same respect that you gave to your damn precious Momo."

His eyes found another reason to blaze at her, "Don't you dare speak of her with that arrogance and condescendence! You didn't even know her!"

Karin rolled her eyes and met his flashing orbs once again with a death glare that would rival even his own, "I know who the fuck I know and don't know. I don't have to have known her. You told me everything that I need to know about her. She lived, you loved her, she didn't love you enough, she betrayed you, you killed her, and she's gone. This is the time to stop fucking moping over her. Grow the hell up, Toushirou!"

At those words his anger stilled and utter disbelief and shock set in, paralyzing him under her hard stare. Had she really just said that?

It was then that he met her eyes, the piercing daggers cutting into his very being. She still held his chin firmly in her hand and peered at him through narrowed lids, her gaze never wavering. His eyes dropped in defeat and embarrassment as he let out a sight before being interrupted by her brash voice, "FUCKING LOOK AT ME, 'SHIRO!"

The demand frightened him slightly as his eyes drew to meet hers once again, though he thought he recognized something different in the depths of them this time around. There was a moment of heavy, tense silence as he tried to steady his breathing and regain his composure. He heard her breathing shallow out as she calmed own, "Why can't you ever just look at me? You always look away when we're not talking. Even when we are, you still never really hold my gaze. It's like you're scared to look me in the eye for more then two seconds. What am I to you anyway…?"

After she spoke, she slowly released his chin, running her thumb gently over the red mark that it left behind from the pressure. Dropping her hand she let her head drop to her chest as she let out a shuddering sigh before shunpo-ing down from the wall and slowly walking off toward her chambers.

Toushirou watched her back as she got farther and farther away from him, before turning and gazing back out into the black night. He looked up at the moon shining brightly in the distance, a beacon of light in the shroud of darkness surrounding him. He sighed softly and brought his hands to his face, cupping his face in them and massaging his temples for a moment before throwing his head back and breathing in the cool night air.

Why had she been so temperamental tonight? He had opened himself up and bore sides of himself to her that no others had seen. Wasn't that enough for her? Why did she feel that she had to get under his skin and shake him? Every time she did it he felt that he was losing another part of himself and he didn't like that. It couldn't happen, for he was far too busy and committed to what he did to let anyone shake him from his rough countenance. He couldn't afford it. Didn't she see that?

As he let himself down from the wall, he tried to pry her from his mind and focus back on the duty that lay ahead for him. But try as he might, he couldn't shake her from his conscience. She had really gotten to him this time and he couldn't get rid if her. Something about the way her voice sounded and the pleading look in her eyes just sent a shiver down his spine. Then his mind wandered back to her question. What _was_ she to him, anyway? He hadn't really thought about it since that night that he had fallen prey to her comfort and solace. There was just something about her that drew him in even when he had tried to distance himself from her.

It was like she knew he was pushing her away and she wouldn't have it. It was as if she was fighting to regain control and get him to show that sensitive teenager that he had turned into without warning in the Material World. Well, she wasn't going to succeed. Captain Toushirou Hitsugaya changed for no one, not even the ones that he loved…

A/N: Sorry about the harsh ending, but I have a great plan for the next chapter. Be patient. All good things come in due time. You won't be disappointed. I'm sorry that the chapter was so short. The next one will definitely be longer. So, don't worry. I don't like being sad so I don't leave people sad. Read and review. I really love y'all's input. Thanks to everyone that already has. And just because you have reviewed once doesn't mean that you can't do it again on a newer chapter. I like older reviewer's opinions too! SO, if anyone has any requests or input, please let me know. Goodnight and I will have a new chappie up soon!


	12. No Air

Chapter 12: No Air

As Karin returned to her room, the air felt very heavy, as if there was a huge weight on her chest, pushing down to suffocate her slowly. She walked leisurely over to her bed, sitting quietly on the plush comforter, reaching up to remove the hair tie from her tresses. As she ran her fingers through her soft, black hair, she noticed that moon was exceptionally bright out tonight as it hung out of her bedroom window, shining inside and bathing the whole room in a light silver glow.

Walking over to her nightstand, she looked at her tired figure in the mirror, nearly cringing at the sight of herself. _Damn…do I really look that bad_…?

She took in the stringiness of her dark hair hanging over her sunken shoulders and in front of her exhausted, glazed eyes that had dark circles subtly forming beneath them from her lack of rest over the previous few days. Her face looked very pale and worn, the moonlight casting an almost sickly tone over her ivory skin. She brought her hand up to touch her sallow cheek, ghosting her fingertips over the clammy flesh. _Maybe that's why he doesn't want to look at me_…

After a brief moment of defeat, she brought her unoccupied hand to the tie of her obi. Hooking her index finger through the loop in the fabric, she pulled the sash free, allowing it to fall to the floor and the top of her hamaka to fall open slightly, revealing the two-inch wide section of white flesh covering her sternum down to her naval, barely concealing the intimate sides of her upper torso. _I wonder what it would be like_…

Reaching up to her waist, she pulled the thick black fabric from the waistband of the hamaka pants, letting it fall to its full length just above her knees. Looking more like a geisha than a Soul Reaper, she locked her eyes on the mirror. _What the hell_, _why not_? She scoffed lightly too herself before sliding the fabric off of her shoulders, allowing it to pool around her ankles in a thick pile.

Cocking her head slightly to the right, she glanced back into the mirror, studying the contours of her upper body that she had never really taken the time to truly look at before. Karin wasn't one to spend much time looking in the mirror to see her appearance and, consequently, she wasn't all that familiar with her body. _Damn…I don't even remember when I got these…When did my body change so much_…?

The truth was that Karin rarely ever went shopping or bought new clothing, for she had always chosen to either steal something of Ichigo's or just wear sports clothing. As she gazed at her reflection, she disappointedly returned to her prior train of thought. _I think that I look pretty decent…so why doesn't he want to look at me…? It's not like I'm trying to force myself into his bed or something…I'm just trying to be a good friend…I don't know why everyone is blowing this into some sappy romance novel, but it's not like that…at least…I don't think it is_…

She took another moment to finally untie the last remaining sash on her pants, letting them fall to join her top on the floor. Taking in the sight of her form in the mirror, she sighed softly, shaking her head as her eyes traced over her curves. She was definitely hourglass shaped, the gentle swell of her bust under her black sports bra and hips clad in only black hipster underwear obvious against her narrower waist. She wasn't skinny by any means, but she wasn't chubby either. Rather, she was toned; her tight abdominal muscles could be subtly picked out from below her pale flesh of her tummy.

Her hip bones protruded ever so slightly, emphasizing the fact that she took good physical care of herself. Her creamy thighs and arms were fit as well, results of years of soccer and basketball practice and games. Almost too shy, she turned to the side to glance at her profile…_I wonder what it would feel like to have someone_…_NO…that's not how my life works…Karin Kurosaki is a hard-ass, a jock, a Soul Reaper, and a kick-ass arguer, but she is NOT a romantic or a nympho…Where the hell did that come from?!_

Growling to herself for her lapse in reason, she slowly climbed into bed, feeling the coolness of the satin sheets against her almost bare form. Pulling the covers up to her chest, she sighed, rolling onto her left side, staring back out the window at the bright moon. _I do wonder what he is doing right now…I hope he isn't taking this stress to hard…I really do care about him_…

Letting out a breath, she allowed her eyes to drift shut as she inhaled the scent of night-blooming jasmine and honeysuckle coming in from the small window. Sighing once more, she surrendered herself to sleep, but not before letting one more thought pass through her mind.

_ I'm sorry, Toushirou. I never meant to hurt you, if I ever did_…

…**Tell me how I'm supposed to breath with no air…**

Toushirou awoke from the dream with a start; sweat sliding off of his forehead onto his bare chest and shoulders. His face was flushed and his eyes had grown wide from the shock of regaining consciousness so quickly. _What the hell_… After a few shaky breaths, he allowed his eyes to slowly close, calming his breathing as best he could. Bringing his hands to his face, he rubbed his eyes with his left hand, while his right massaged the back of his neck, attempting to relax his still tense muscles.

The cool air began to chill his burning skin, a sensation he was not used to, being the master of Hyourinmaru. Throwing the sheets off of his bare form, clad in only emerald green boxers, he brought his feet to the floor, walking over to where he had left his hamaka and haori on the floor in front of his nightstand. Stepping into his pants and socks, he quickly fastened the belt that held the black fabric up, reaching to pull the white cloths onto his feet. Gathering the hamaka shirt and haori in his arms, he entered his bath chamber, pouring a basin of cool water and throwing a rag into it.

Setting his hamaka top and haori on the chair by the door, he walked back to the basin and cupped his hands, filling them with the icy water before splashing it back onto his face. Standing slightly more upright, he allowed the frigid liquid to cascade down his neck, and over his shoulders and chest before the final few drops trailed down to the waistband of his pants, dampening the fabric there slightly. His chest heaved and fell as his breathing hitched, shuddering slightly from the exhilarating feeling of the cold fluids running down his lean, but muscular upper body.

Grabbing a hand towel, he dried himself before walking back to his remaining clothing, donning the hamaka top quickly. Leaving his haori on the chair, he returned to the basin, draining it before grabbing the white piece of fabric and heading back into his bedroom. The darkness was almost haunting as it wrapped around him like a heavy cloak. It had to be around four in the morning, he thought to himself as he shuddered from the memory of the dream. _Don't think about it…It'll only hurt more_…

Sighing as he walked to throw the sheets back into their place on his bed, he folded the comforter back neatly, running his fingers over the soft plush to smooth the wrinkles. Walking to the window, he threw his haori on, inching it over his shoulders before straightening it in the front. He breathed in deeply, inhaling the tickling scent of the honeysuckle that wrapped around the walls of the 10th Division chambers as it wafted in from the small rectangular opening in the wall. Leaning over the window frame, he crossed his arms, resting his chest against them as he leaned slightly out of the opening. He could feel the breeze tickling his face and began to realize, almost immediately, that it was a frigid, icy wind.

Allowing himself to smile slightly, he breathed in again, letting the cold air intrude into his lungs, feeling the delicious sting as it hit the soft internal tissues, pulling the last remaining sleep from his body.

This was his weather. He had waited for this to arrive for an entire year, grinning that he could finally enjoy the cold without the interruption of war.

Finally tearing himself away from the window, he closed it, fastening the latch as he walked to the door of his room. Opening it quietly, he exited into the main hallway that led to the 10th Division Office. It was moving day and he had things to get in order. Walking slowly into the dark office area, he lit a small lamp on the table by the sofa, chuckling slightly at the passed-out form of Rangiku half hanging off of said sofa.

Walking silently over to his cluttered desk, he grabbed the box that had been left for storage and quickly began shuffling things into it, not bothering to take a moment to reflect. _Reflection is not something that I need right now…I refuse to get emotional over such trivial things_…

After all of his personal belongings on the desk had made their way into the square box, he set it quietly on the chair, emptying out each of the drawers in the same fashion, until he came to the last drawer on the right. There it was…

He let out a shuddering sigh, closing his eyes at his own foolish misstep. As he lifted the thick piece of formal paper, he stared at it in his pale palm for a moment, as if he was torn as to what to do with it. Finally, he gathered the strength to carefully unfold the dusty piece of parchment. Opening his eyes slowly, he allowed them to scan the fateful piece of paper, the words cutting into his heart like his own blade.

_Dear 'Shiro,_

_I know that if you are reading this you are probably very upset and angry with me. I understand, for I know how much you fought for me. I know that I have been horribly unfair to you and an unnecessary burden upon your shoulders. For that I am eternally sorry. I also am aware that no words, be they from my own mouth or inscribed on this parchment, will ever heal the gaping wound that I am going to leave upon your heart. For that, I am also truly apologetic. I have always loved you, as a brother, a friend, a lover, and a warrior. I have always respected you, as well. (Even if you are still my little whitey) _

_I hope that one day you can find it in yourself to forgive me and remember me as I once was when we were just kids. Oh, sometimes I really do wish that we could both go back and just do it all over, knowing what was going to happen. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had chosen not to become a vice-captain under Captain Aizen. Maybe things would have turned out differently for the both of us. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this before, but I think that I am in love with two men. One flatters me constantly and promises me much power and happiness…but the other promises protection and a love that runs deeper than any ocean…_

_I know that you think that I am probably making the wrong choice here, but I have to protect that man that offers his own protection so adamantly. I can't allow him to fall prey to those that are more dangerous than the power that he himself wields. I hope that you will not misunderstand me. I am not leaving because I love that dangerous man more than you…I just can't let anything else happen to you, my Heavenly Guardian. I would never be able to forgive myself if it did. And before I left, I just wanted you to know that last night was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and that I am forever indebted to you for making me the most treasured thing in your life. As an after thought, I just wanted you to know one more thing…I love you, Toushirou Hitsugaya…and…in all of this…I'm sorry, Toushirou… I never meant to hurt you, if I ever did. _

_Love always, Momo…_

As he finished reading, he realized that a headache was starting to form behind his temples, threatening to draw tears from his cerulean eyes. Breathing deeply, he folded the letter back up and tucked it into the folds of his hamaka, tossing his emotions aside, refusing to let them loose.

Turning back to his work, he found that he was unable to concentrate. Five years later and he still couldn't shake the woman from his mind, scrunching is eyes shut as her memory attempted to flood his mind once more, barely keeping it at bay. Opening his eyes once more, he remembered the night before.

Freezing in his task, he frowned as he remembered how he had allowed the young Soul Reaper to just leave him and retreat into the night. Sighing, he realized just how cold he must have seemed to her in her rare emotional state. _Damnit…why can't a ever say the right things_…?

Realizing what he had to do, he set the box down and silently left the office, exiting into the frigid night. Walking quietly across the small wooden bridge hat separated his quarters from everyone else's in the 10th Division; he came to the door he was looking for. Knocking quietly, he waited for some sign of life inside. Hearing nothing, he knocked again, a little louder this time. After no one answered still, he tried the knob, startled slightly when it turned and the door slowly opened.

Walking into the silent, dark room, he noticed that the occupant was still in bed, a small form on the mattress, still in deep sleep. He stood silently for a moment after shutting the door behind him, wondering if this was proper or not, even after remembering her words that it was always okay to just enter and 'throw something at her'. Not knowing what to do, he stood and stared at the body on the bed.

The young woman was curled on her side, facing towards door, her eyes softly closed and lips parted slightly as she breathed deeply in her sleep. One arm was wrapped under the pillow beneath her head, the other elegantly rested just in front of her face on the crumpled pillow. Her hair was sprawled out over the white cushion beneath her head and draped over her naked shoulder, coming to rest over the front of her neck.

Her shoulders were hunched up slightly, towards her ears, her body sunken tiredly into the mattress. The satin sheet had fallen and was bunched around her hips, revealing the creamy skin of her tummy and arms. He could make out the outline of her toned thighs as they lay crossed beneath the thin fabric of the sheets, her left foot and ankle peeking out from beneath it, hanging off of the bed slightly.

He stood stone still before remembering and realizing that he was here for a reason. Walking silently over to her bedside, he knelt in front of her and sat, crossing his legs under him. Reaching out, he gripped the satin sheet softly, drawing it back up to her shoulders, draping it over her sleeping form. Looking down at her, he really stopped to get a true view at her, for the first time in a while. He noticed that even in sleep she frowned slightly, as if she was constantly bothered by some plaguing thought.

_This is ridiculous…I really shouldn't be doing this…it isn't proper…I never should have come…I'll just try back later today_…

With that thought, he started to stand, freezing when the young woman in front of him stirred slightly in her sleep. He held his breath as he waited for her to settle again. She seemed to stretch out slightly, her muscles tensing and relaxing at the action. His eyes widened a bit as her hand flopped off of the pillow to hang off of the edge of the mattress, about an inch from his knee. She sighed in her sleep, drifting back and forth from a subconscious state to REM sleep.

He heard a quiet moan escape from her lips as her brows furrowed, her eyes moving rapidly beneath her lids. Her head began to loll slightly back and forth on her pillow, ruffling her hair and causing her shoulders to reach higher towards her ears. Her hands clenched themselves into fists, her knuckles turning white, as her knees pulled closer to her chest, almost as if she was trying to shield herself from something. _What's going on_…?

A strangled whimper fell from her mouth as a look of anguish crossed her face followed by words that made Toushirou's blood run cold, "Please stop, I'm not ready yet…"

_What the hell_…? Toushirou leaned slightly closer to hear more, even though he knew he should probably leave rather than intrude on her private thoughts.

She thrashed a bit in her sleep, the blanket falling back to her waist. Her left hand grabbed the sheet, balling it in her fist and holding onto it as if it were a lifeline. Her breath was coming in shallow pants, her chest heaving from the effort. Throwing herself over onto her back, she started to cry out in her sleep, thrashing against some invisible assailant. Toushirou back away slightly, frightened a bit at what he was witnessing, but too concerned to leave.

She kicked into the air, throwing the sheet from the bed, exposing her body clad only in the black sports bra and boy shorts. He watched as her long legs flailed for a moment before she flattened her feet on the mattress, her knees bent and pointed to the ceiling, as she squeezed her knees together. "I said NO, FUCKER!" she snarled as her wrists crossed and came above her head, hanging over the top of the mattress, her elbows bent around her temples.

Toushirou felt himself frown as he watched the display in front of him. _What is she dreaming about…_?

He could see the sweat forming on her brow and collar bone as she strained against her nonexistent enemy. She panted from exhaustion and effort, grunts and moans if exertion falling from her lips. "Dammit! Why won't you just leave me be?!...Please...Go find some other girl to fuck senseless…"

Upon hearing those words, Hitsugaya had heard enough. He leaned over and wrapped his left arm around Karin's waist and cupped the back of her neck with his right hand, snatching her off of the mattress and crushing her body to his to still her thrashing and wake her from the nightmare.

After a few moments of screaming and jerking, fighting against his embrace, Karin collapsed into his chest. Her lower body remained on the mattress as her arms fell limp on either side of him, her head crashing onto his shoulder in defeat. Her legs were curled slightly under herself as the icy captain supported her upper body. Her left arm was lying limp across the hard wood floor, but her right arm hung stilled on his lap, her palm resting on his outer left thigh. Her head was heavy against the muscles in his shoulder, her searing breath shuddering across the back of his neck, making his hairs stand on end.

He sat very still for a moment as he realized that she was still asleep. _Shit…what do I do now_…?

Then, as if to answer his question, her arm twitched as she began to stir awake. A long shuddering breath exited her lips, her muscles tensing slightly, feeling her body in an unfamiliar position in an unfamiliar place. Curling her legs to her chest, trying to sit up out of reflex, she only succeeded in pulling herself completely into his lap, her knees straddling his own left one.

His breath hitched in his throat for a moment as he felt her weight shifted completely onto him. She seemed as confused as him about what to do now, shifting around uncomfortably. He heard her mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'where the hell am I…' but couldn't know for sure, as she raised her right arm to his left shoulder, pushing herself up slightly to get a view of where she was. As soon as she realized that she was in someone's arms, she stiffened for a moment. _Oh my God…I wasn't dreaming_… was her first, though incorrect thought.

Both relief and panic flooded her body as her dark orbs met the wide, concerned teal ones staring back at her. She could feel an uncomfortable heat rising onto the back of her neck as his eyes bore into her own, but soon felt slightly less afraid once she spotted a rare and new emotion shining at her from them. She could feel her breathing stop as she realized that she saw fear looking back at her from his cerulean orbs; shear, raw, and utter terror.

She let a soft sigh out, her eyes softening as they fell to her resting place on his lap. He sat completely unmoving, almost like a statue. She could feel his heart thumping quickly in his chest, his breathing nonexistent as he waited for her to say something. She let out a dry laugh before placing her forehead against his own chilly one and whispering, "You, know…you can breathe…I'm not going to run away…"

Letting out a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding, the young captain let his eyes close as he gulped loudly, nodding, afraid to speak. His breath hitched once again, his eyes snapping open as he felt her left hand move from its place on the floor to cup the right side of his face gently, the hot skin of her palm quickly warming the cold flesh of his cheek.

She sighed loudly before opening her eyes to meet his gaze, "What happened…? What are you doing here?

His voice shook as he attempted to convey his thoughts, shuddering at the feeling of her forehead against his own, "I-I wanted to speak to y-you about last night. I felt bad about the way that I treated you, and how I let you just leave like that. I'm sorry…"

She let a small smile perk the corners of her lips upward as she ran her thumb over his soft cheek, much like the way she had done it the night before, "Apology accepted, but that still doesn't explain why I am in your lap on the floor beside my bed at some ungodly hour of the night…"

She trailed off, quirking her head to the side, awaiting an answer. He gulped once again, grabbing for something mentally to say. It's not like I can just say '_Hey, I was watching you sleep and you were having a bad dream, so I decided to be cavalier and wake you up_…'

He breathed in enough to clear his mind for a moment. At this, Karin cocked an eyebrow at him. Using that the ground himself again, he finally answered, "You were having a nightmare…"

He could see her visibly tense at his words, her eyes widening slightly before she threw her façade back up. This action did not go unnoticed by Hitsugaya, using this opportunity to cock his brow back at her. "Why, what's wrong…?"

He could tell that the next smile that she threw up was fake as it never quite reached her eyes. Giving her a stern look, she realized her mistake and finally sighed in defeat. "Damn…what did I say?"

His eyebrows raised at her words, surprised that she was aware she talked in her sleep. "What…?" he asked, trying to get her to give herself away.

She sighed and crawled off of him, sitting back on the mattress with her legs crossed under her, "I've had nightmares since I was a little girl. They are usually extraordinarily vivid and cause me to react rather violently in my sleep. Yuzu told me on several different occasions that my sleeping fits caused her so much concern and fright that she used to be unable to get back to sleep after they would happen…I've said some pretty graphic things in my sleep, and my movements often seem to reflect what is happening in the dream. That's why I asked what I said. You looked pretty disturbed when I woke and I was in your lap, so I can only guess that I said or did something to freak you out…"

As she finished talking, he watched as her eyes scanned the floor, avoiding his gaze. He leaned over to try to catch her gaze, only to be unsuccessful. Settling for looking at her, he sighed and replied, "Let's just say…you sounded as if you were being forced into…an unfavorable encounter with another person…"

She laughed wryly as she looked up to finally meet his eyes, startling him slightly, "Just say it. I sounded like I was being raped…"

He blinked in shock at her sudden and blunt reply, "What?"

He expected her to roll her eyes and dismiss him with a hand, but she didn't. She sighed softly and locked her eyes on his, daring him to look away. She forced an calm look onto her face as she spoke, "I sounded like I was being raped, did I not?"

He didn't know really how to answer her, but tried his best, "You could say that, I guess."

She laughed again, dryly, before tossing her hair over her shoulder and pulling the sheet back around her, as if to shield her from his intense stare. She was silent for a moment as she built up her resolve, finally digging up the courage to say what she had never really wanted to ever say again. "Toushirou…can I tell you a secret…?"

He was slightly startled at the rare and almost adolescent request, blinking for a moment before his expression hardened once again with concern. Tilting his head slightly to the left, he frowned softly, "What is it…?"

She stared deeply into his eyes, searching desperately for a reason not to tell him. But she found none; no excuses to change the subject or reasons to avoid him. This was it; the point of no return, the moment of truth. The apron strings were cut and the training wheels taken off. The ball was in her court now and she never forfeited a game.

Taking a deep breath, she allowed her eyes to close as she dropped her head slightly. Reopening them, she looked back up at him to see confusion and worry reflected back at her through the pained emerald orbs. Frowning slightly, she spoke, "You have to promise not to tell…"

He sighed as he answered her, afraid of the result, "I promise. A captain's word is gold, and one does not give away gold…"

She smirked slightly at the expression, finally finding her courage. She took a deep breath and raised her chin to stare at him dead-on. "When I was fifteen, I was raped…"

She could see him visibly shudder at the blunt and definite proclamation. His breath caught in his throat. "Why did you put it so bluntly...?"

She shrugged, "My dad always told me that when I was having a hard time building up my courage to do something, that I should just do it fast, like I'm ripping off a band-aid. Because a band-aid hurts less if you rip it off fast than if you peel it off slowly…"

Hitsugaya stared at her, torn between horror and amusement. "What happened…?"

She sighed again and started her story, "I was out with a boyfriend, my first one. It was my birthday and we had gone to the park and played a game of soccer before going back to my house and having dinner with my family. He was two years older then me, so my dad was thrilled. Ichigo kept warning me that something didn't seem right with him, but I was so caught up in the fact that I had a boyfriend that I didn't see where he was coming from. The signs were all there, plain as day; the way he was always touching me and trying to get me alone. I was naïve enough to follow him to his apartment afterwards, under the pretense that we were going to 'watch a movie and hang out'. Well, that wasn't exactly what happened. Yes, we put a movie on and were 'hanging out', but somehow he ended up kissing me, and I thought it was nice. Being a young teenage girl and being kissed was always a perk, but things started to go really fast and he started touching me in places that I didn't feel comfortable being touched."

"I tried to push him off, but he resisted, saying things like, 'baby, I need you so bad' and 'you know you need me too'. I was trapped. I started fighting back saying things like, 'Please stop, I'm not ready' and 'why can't you just go do this with someone else'…but he didn't stop. I could do nothing but watch as he ripped my clothing from my body and forced himself into me, stealing my virginity and my self-esteem at the same time. I don't think that I have ever felt more ashamed in my life than when I felt his seed spilling into me as he rode out his climax. Knowing that I could have and should have easily prevented it from happening weighs on my heart still, and apparently my dreams as well."

"After it happened he left. I ended up calling Ichigo to come and get me, telling him what happened and that I needed an extra pair of clothes. He came right away, helping me clean up and taking me home. He helped me come up with a cover story to tell Dad. But I think that what brought me the most respect and love for him through all of that was when that night, he came to my room as I was crying in bed, crawled in with me, and just held me as I mourned myself…It brought me closer to my brother than I think I have ever been…"

Pausing for a moment, she collected her breath, "I'm sorry if I frightened you, but that's not exactly something that you just forget and move on from…"

Hitsugaya was stunned, to put it lightly. His jaw was slack, his lips parted slightly as he struggled to wrap his mind around her story. She, Karin Kurosaki, had not been able to fend off a man and consequently had her innocence stolen from her. _What a mind-fuck_…

Not knowing what else to do, shakily stood, coming to sit next to her as her eyes made their way back to the floor. He placed his lithe fingers under her chin, lifting it up to meet his gaze, "You know that what happened to you is nothing to be ashamed of. There was nothing that you could have done. If not then, then it would have happened to you later…"

She sighed and replied, "I guess you're right…"

She let out a shuddering breath, closing her eyes tightly, fighting back a sudden wave of emotion, "Fuck," she said, slapping her hands over her eyes, "Don't fucking cry…"

Reaching up, Hitsugaya grasped both of her wrists and pried her hands from her face. Her head reflexively dropped to hide her face behind her dark hair, shielding her emotions from the white haired captain. "Please, 'Shiro…don't look at me…"

His heart nearly stopped at her plea, his lips parting to speak, but no words coming out. He could feel a strange, yet familiar emotion stirring in his heart. He had felt it before, but not often at all. Finally he sighed in defeat, shaking his head slightly as he mentally surrendered. It was now or never… Letting go of her wrists, he brought his hands up to cup her wet cheeks.

Lifting her face to look into his, he watched in both pain and awe as the trails of tears cascaded down her pale face. She was still fighting the display of emotion, even as it forced itself out of her body. Closing his eyes slowly, he hung his head for a moment, an internal battle finally won by his heart. He lifted his chin, brushing his nose against hers softly and gently, causing her eyes to widen considerably.

He allowed his left hand to leave its place on her cheek to slide down to her waist, pushing the satin sheet aside and letting his fingertips ghost over her narrow waist. She shivered under his touch, her lids falling a fraction of a centimeter. Finally, he growled in a way that appeared as if he was asserting dominance over his own mind, "Please forgive me…" he practically groaned out.

Diving his right hand to he base of her head, burying it in her dark mane, he tightened his left arm around her waist pulling her against his body, bringing them both up on their knees. She stared in wonder at the uncanny actions of the man that knelt before her.

Before he could allow himself to falter and run away, he 'ripped off' the proverbial 'band-aid', crashing his lips to hers in a desperate kiss that knocked the air out of both of them…

…**Can't live, Can't breathe with no air**…

…**No air**…**No air**…

A/N: I'm sorry that it's been a while, but I told you that you wouldn't be disappointed. Well, things are getting a little warmer for the young duo. I hope that I gave you a little bit of a fix for the next week. Let me know what you think…


	13. Consequences Later

A/N: Just gonna warn you now…SMUT ALERT!...not really a lemon, because there isn't really full-on sex, but there is some strong sexual content…so if that's an issue (which I don't see why it should be, considering this is a Karin/Hitsugaya fic rated M…Which basically means 'read at your own risk'…) SO ENJOY! More juicy stuff later...R&R

Chapter 13: Consequences Later

_Neither breathed for several moments, the air being absent from them, and one cannot breathe without air_…

Finally allowing shallow breaths to enter through the nose, they became conscious of what was happening. This was not like the other kiss: passionate, animalistic, and needy. This was not a desperate attempt at comfort and consolation over an emotional breakdown, nor was it an act of desperation in the heat of the moment.

This union of lips was not a spontaneous action, for it had registered in the young captain's mind before he had initiated it. It was not fierce or rough, for there was no delicious pain as the two soft, smooth sets of petals slowly caressed each other in a forbidden dance. Brushing gently against one another, the only sensation that registered was the subtle sting of the icy captain's frosty lips against the young Soul Reaper's feverishly hot ones as the two exchanged temperature, mixing in between the two beings.

All of the emotions that had built up for the two in the last week were now flooding from their bodies and sinking swiftly beneath the spirit pressure of the other. The air was becoming moist as invisible steam rose from their point of union, the frigid and sweltering petals creating condensation from the contact.

Both beings devoid of thought, Toushirou didn't even realize the sensation of a hot, velvety appendage slicking across his bottom lip, begging for entry. Obliging without a second thought, a soft mist rose from the point of penetration as the two tongues collided in a painfully slow waltz.

Still not fully aware of anything but the explosions of spirit energy inside of their two bodies, they managed to realize the sweet and spicy flavors dancing between their lips in the midst of their interlude. From the young woman, a sweet burst of strawberry and chocolate slid its way into the young captain's cavern as he gifted her with a taste of wild cinnamon spice, his tongue sliding across her palate.

This was entropy at its peak. Their heat and ice met to form a common sensation against one another, entering a kind of homeostasis that chilled with a sense of danger and security simultaneously.

Their hands roamed each other's bodies not completely unnoticed, Toushirou's left hand ghosting its fingertips across her taut hip, thumbing circles along the crest of the bone. His right hand softly caressing her face, he could feel her hands sliding into the sleeves of his hamaka, running her palms over his sculpted biceps and tight shoulders.

She plunged her tongue into his mouth, exploring every angle she could find. He dropped his jaw to allow her greater access as his own cool appendage flicked across the back of her top teeth. The flavors were exploding across each other's tongues, but were slowly becoming disregarded as Karin's hands slid out of his sleeves, sneaking their way to the front folds of his hamaka. Toushirou, completely oblivious to her ministrations, too enraptured in his own, ran his right hand through her long hair, balling it in his fist. His left hand ran smoothly down her right hip, brushing against the outside of her thigh, grasping the firm muscle in his palm and squeezing gently.

Using his blind euphoria as a distraction, she slipped her right hand into the front of his hamaka, trailing her hot fingers over his cool pectoral muscles before raking her nails across his abdominals down to his naval. The aroused captain gasped in surprise, unable to shake the stars from his eyes as she pulled the knot of his obi, allowing his top to fall open. Before he knew what hit him, she had pushed him to a laying position and yanked his top from his pants, throwing it open to give her full access to his chest. Before he could respond, she began laving his chest with her tongue, eliciting groans and ragged breathing from the white-haired man.

These sounds only encouraging her, she pushed the rest of his top and haori off of his shoulders, scraping her fingers down his arms as her tongue did wicked things to his neck as it moved to nibble at his pulse point. Like his haori, his captaincy was not an issue at the moment, he was just another passionate being lost in the moment. He was no longer 5th Squad Captain, but Toushirou Hitsugaya, the male partner in this secret dance.

Unable to think any longer, and completely at her mercy, Toushirou clenched the mattress under him, balling his fists into the soft fabric of it. He nearly saw spots as she moved to latch onto his left earlobe, suckling it gently before nipping at it passionately.

Somehow, somewhere things had gone from chaste and affectionate to passionate and desperate: hands grabbing, teeth gnashing, lips roaming, tongues battling for dominance.

Toushirou's mouth began to explore the contours of Karin's neck, gently running his lips across her sensitive shoulder. She gasped in pleasure as the tip of his tongue flicked out to tease the junction between her neck and shoulder. He was so blinded by pleasure that he didn't notice her right hand working its way through the knot on his pants.

By the time he came to the stark realization that she was treading into uncharted territory, her hand was already plunging itself into his boxers and taking a swift hold of his now aching member. Crying out in shock and pleasure, his eyes snapped open and his body tensed rigidly, his hands gripping her hips painfully, though she made no move to resist. His mind tried to scream some sense into him, _No, Toushirou…Don't do it…she'll regret this in the morning…your friendship will never be the same again…this is not supposed to be happening…you're using her…she just poured her heart out to you and look what you're doing…she'll never forgive you…_

As his thoughts chastised him and reprimanded him, he growled once more, before unintentionally stuttering his reply, "We can't…we need to…sto-p…"

Karin began to slowly and gently pump his length, causing his head to spin, before licking the corner of his lips and raising an eyebrow, "Fuck it. This now…consequences later…we need this more than I care about getting in trouble…"

Unable to process what she had just said, he rolled his eye back in his head at the sensation of her stroking his throbbing length that had gone so long without attention. He began to writhe beneath her; squirming as her other hand desperately pulled the rest of his clothing from his body, kicking it to the side, leaving him open and vulnerable before him, a place that he never thought that he would find himself and wasn't sure if he was altogether comfortable with it either…

But luckily, his mind couldn't form a single thought other than that he couldn't feel enough of her skin beneath his touch. Pulling a small amount of inner strength, he pulled her hand from his member, hooking his fingers beneath the side of her sports bra. She lifted her arms above her head as he swiftly removed the unneeded fabric, tossing it to the side of the mattress.

Running his hands over her naked back, he could feel the slightly raised skin where he knew the small black dragon still dwelled. Ghosting his fingertips over it, he felt her shudder above his body as her hand resumed its ministrations. His breathing was quickening as he could feel his pleasure rising to another level. His left hand traveled back to press flat against the right side of her ass as his left slid smoothly to cup the side of her left breast, running his thumb softly across the taut nipple.

He felt rather than heard her cry of pleasure disappear into his mouth as their kiss deepened. Realizing just what that action did to her, he slid the tips of all of his fingers one by one across the hard bud causing her body to quiver over his own panting one. This was definitely uncharted territory, for he had not done anything this intimate with anyone.

Feeling her body tense up with every stroke to her breast, he finally relaxed and flattened his palm against the sensitive mound, pressing gently, but firmly. It was such a strange sensation that he could concentrate on no longer as he felt her sliding down his body. Before he could even register what was happening, he cried out in surprise, "Gnnh..!"

Bringing himself up on his elbows to see the catalyst, his eye widened as he saw her head bobbing up and down on his now weeping member. He writhed violently beneath her, unable to do much of anything but grip the mattress like a life preserver as he struggled to ground himself at least a small bit. Finally failing, he threw his head back, feeling all of his blood beginning to pool in his groin, a strange but familiar pressure forming in his stomach as she bobbed faster and began to lave him with her tongue. _God, where did she learn how to do this_…?

"Oh my God, Karin…Oh God…" He whimpered as he was driven to the edge of his very mind as she did God knows what to his most intimate part.

Gripping her head with his right hand, his left arm supporting him as he moved to a sitting position, his legs on either side of the matress, he threw his head back again, panting and gasping for air. Tiny quakes were rocking his body as the adrenaline began to pump through his veins at the mixture of pleasure, excitement, fear, and confusion. "Kar-in…please…you…have to…stop…"

She lifted off only quickly enough to say, "You are much too coherent…" before lowering her head right back down and resuming her sucking action with renewed fervor, ignoring whatever protest he might come up with.

He grunted and writhed some more, desperately trying to get away before he did something they would regret. One last time, he attempted to warn her of his impending climax, but barely managed to gasp out, "I'm…gonna…cu-"

Before he could finish his sentence, she brushed her fingertips across his perineum causing his body to seize up, every muscle stiffening as he fell backwards onto the pillow. He cried out in what could only be considered a broken scream, "Oh, God!" as he covered his mouth, spilling his seed down her eager throat, a strangled sound escaping him as he felt her muscles tightening and swallowing every drop of him.

Lights danced in front of his eyes as he rode out his orgasm, his chest too tight to breathe and his mind to blank to care. As his spasms began to ebb, she pulled her mouth off of him and moved to straddle his hips, resting her elbows on either side of his head as she stared, smirking, into his face, waiting for his eyes to open back up.

His brow was fixed in a tight frown, his lips open, gasping and panting for air. His cheeks were flushed and a light pink color was painted across the bridge of his nose. Small beads of cold sweat were forming on his temples and his hair was beginning to stick to his forehead.

As his breathing slowed to a semi-normal rate, she raised her right hand to brush some of the soggy white hair back out of his face. His eyes slowly began to open, rolling around a bit in a haze before they began to focus. And when they did, he was met by the knowing smirk of the dark haired hellion before him. "Welcome back," she said smoothly, "Was that your first blow job? Because you sure seemed extremely virginal back there…"

Toushirou could feel the unwanted redness rising up from the back of his neck, not knowing whether to be shocked, to be humiliated, or to be worshipping her at that very moment. His eyes widened, his member coming slightly back to life as he realized that he felt the warm softness of her breasts pressed flat against his chest.

Swallowing hard and taking another deep breath of air, he let his hands slide down to rest on her hips, his thumbs resting lightly on the crooks of her thighs. Her long dark hair fell over her shoulders, hanging down to her ribcage, conveniently obscuring her breasts from his view. She cocked a brow at him as she watched the different emotions play across his exhausted face. His glorious teal eyes danced along the curves of her body, taking in the beauty before him. He heard her scoff.

"What?" he asked slightly startled.

She lifted her chin slightly and gave a cheeky grin, "NOW you'll look at me. Man, if that was all it was going to take, I should have taken off my shirt a long time ago…"

He stopped for a moment, dumbstruck at her comment, and watched as she began to snicker. Not knowing what to make of this situation and feeling slightly awkward, he turned his head to the side and took a deep breath. Biting his lower lip, he avoided her eyes. She cocked her head slightly, observing the new nervous energy that surrounded him. "Wow, I must have had you thoroughly distracted if this was what you were really feeling on the inside…this really was your first one…"

He began to frown slightly, sliding her off of him as he grabbed the sheet to cover his now trembling body. "So what if it was? Does that matter? I didn't come here expecting to be pleasured by you. I just came to apologize…"

He trailed off as he realized that she wasn't paying any attention to what he was saying. He noticed that she was raking her eyes over what was exposed of his upper body.

She took in his perfectly sculpted torso, his powerful, but lean abdominal and pectoral muscles subtly defined below the porcelain skin. His biceps and shoulder muscles were softly defined, and his collarbone was deliciously pronounced. His long waist was bent from being hunched over slightly, his muscles overlapping each other, showing off his trim figure. The sheet pooled at the top of his thighs, exposing his taut hips and clearly defined oblique muscles, barely concealing the once again hardening flesh between his legs.

It was his turn to cock a brow as their eyes met once again. "See something you like…?"

She raised both of her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly, "Definitely…" she muttered.

There was a moment of silence before she frowned slightly, squinting her eyes to peer at something. He attempted to locate her point of interest, "What is it…?"

She reached over, grasping the sheet and pushing it slightly to the side, just enough to expose his right hip and thigh. He heard her breath hitch as her eyes widened on their target. _So…she saw it_…

There, originating at the crest of his right hipbone and winding down around his thigh, ending at the inside of his kneecap, was a black dragon, identical to hers, branded into his ivory flesh. She reached out, ghosting her fingertips over the outside of his thigh, awestruck and frightened, "What the hell…?"

He sighed as he realized her reservation, knowing that she must be feeling very confused and unnerved at the moment. He grasped her wrist, stopping its exploration, and met her eyes, his voice returning to that of a captain; "It is a physical manifestation of Hyourinmaru. It appeared when I achieved Bankai, much like your own Seika. It means that we are their only masters, but it also stands for our status as Guardians. With these brands, comes the power to gain control over its mate's zanpakuto with their permission, if the need ever arose. Consider yourself fortunate..."

She locked his gaze and shook her head slightly, "But you knew as soon as I got mine so why did you not tell me? Why did you let me think that there was something wrong or weird with me? I could have done with that little piece of information that you so conveniently excluded. Please stop keeping things from me."

He sighed deeply and averted his eyes, "I didn't plan on you finding out so soon. I was going to tell you, but only when you got a little more familiar with your Bankai. I didn't plan on this happening, believe it or not…"

She sighed for a moment before smirking and winking, "Besides, we are supposed to be working together now. The Captain can't keep secrets from his Vice-Captain. It's just not right…"

Realizing that she was not longer upset, he sighed and pulled the sheet back around him. They sat in silence for a few moments, just enjoying the silence…until…

'KNOCK' 'KNOCK' 'KNOCK'

Both of their eyes went wide.

'KNOCK' 'KNOCK' "CAPTAIN!"

"Shit…" he whispered, "It's Matsumoto…"

Karin had to cover her mouth not to burst out laughing. There was just something humorous about getting caught by his former Vice-Captain in a highly compromising position that she wasn't even sure was completely legal. "What could be the problem…?"

"CAPTAIN! ARE YOU IN THERE? WE FELT YOUR SPIRIT PRESSURE FLARE! WE THOUGHT SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG! IF YOU"RE IN THERE PLEASE COME OUT AND SHOW ME THAT YOU'RE ALRIGHT!"

"Son of a bitch…" he said, throwing his clothes on as neatly and quickly as he could.

"Get dressed," he whispered, "quickly!"

She obeyed, throwing her sports bra and hamaka back on in record time, turning to see him donning his haori, once again becoming the captain that he was before.

Checking each other over a few times to assure neatness and lack of suspicion, they tossed the sheet back on the bed and Hitsugaya walked to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. Meeting eyes with his former vice-captain he crossed his arms over his chest and asked, "What?"

He noticed Matsumoto glance over his shoulder where Karin was in the background inconspicuously fixing a small meal. "What's going on here, Captain? There was a disturbance in your spirit pressure. Was something the matter?" Rangiku questioned, looking half concerned and half suspicious.

"I don't see that it is much to concern you with; what I do with my new Vice Captain in the planning process, but I do appreciate your concern. We were merely discussing when to move her things from here to the 5th Division and got into an aarguement. Right, Karin?"

She nodded vigorously and gave the thumbs up signal, her mouth full of rice and teriyaki chicken.

Though Rangiku still looked suspicious, she turned to leave, "Okay then, I'll leave you to your planning."

She put a good amount of distance between them before she stopped and glanced over her shoulder, "And next time you decided to bang your Vice-Captain, at least have the decency to try to mask your spirit pressure or at least warn me ahead of time. I thought there was a bomb going off at first."

And with that, she turned and walked off, leaving a gawking Hitsugaya and a giggling Karin. "I DID NOT FREAKING BANG HER!" Toushirou screamed after her, though she obviously ignored it.

Then he heard the two cents from behind him, "Well, technically you didn't. Not yet anyway…"

He whipped his body around to face her, "And why are you so confident that I will end up fornicating with you in the end?"

She shrugged, "You just can't resist me, now that I have turned you on so bad."

He could feel his fury rising the more that she tease him, "I'm going to finish packing now…"

Stalking away from the 10th Division lodges, Toushirou breathed deeply and counted to ten, "Oh, that girl never ceases to infuriate me. Even after the giving me the best pleasure of my life she can still anger me…Go figure."

Karin smirked to herself and finished her food, "That's okay. He'll be back in about a day or two…a week at most."

Putting her dishes away and cleaning up her kitchen area, she turned to make her bed, but was distracted by something on the floor. "What is this…?"

She stooped down and picked up a folded piece of parchment, "This must have fallen out of Toushirou's hamaka…"

Opening the letter slowly, she realized that it was from his late sister. Allowing her eyes to scan the page, her breath hitched, "Oh my God, poor Toushirou…"

She heard a voice behind her, clearing their throat. Startling her slightly, she snapped around to see the intruder and was surprised to find that Matsumoto had returned, "So, he found it in that drawer and brought it with him. Did he show it to you or accidentally leave it?"

Sighing, Karin replied, "It must have fallen out of his hamaka…"

Matsumoto entered the room, closing the door behind her, "We need to talk…"

A/N: OOOOH...my first cliffie...hope you enjoyed the chapter. R&R, please!


	14. You Always Are

A/N: OMG! I am so sorry. The reason for my long break here can be described with two words. Hurricane Ike. It roared through my hometown a few weeks ago leaving much stress and loss of power in its wake. I am currently away at school, but had to host my family and friends for the time. Plus all of my exams hit at the same time…ick. Now that the worst is over I can attempt to be a bit more prompt on my updates. More reviews and encouragement are also needed. Thanks to all how have replied and given their thoughts, but I can still use a lot of input. Private messaging is okay too. I am very welcoming to all of your opinions. Thanks again to all who have reviewed. Let me know how you feel as you continue through the story!

Chapter 14: You Always Are

"_We need to talk_…"

The words were more terrifying than the young woman thought they should be. She shifted slightly, refolding the note in her hands. Masking her apprehension as best she could, she spoke, "Uh…w-what do we need to talk about, Rangiku? Is something the matter?"

The orange-haired Vice Captain walked over to the window, looking out at the small bridge that divided the division. Sighing deeply, she spoke, her eyes never leaving the breaking dawn, "The Captain is a very complicated man, as I am sure you have figured out already."

Karin nodded silently in reply, making her way to stand behind the taller woman. "I noticed on a few occasions…"

Silence hung for a few moments, the darkness slowly fading just a bit from the room, the outlines of the two Soul Reapers becoming slowly more defined.

"He wasn't always this way…"

Karin's head shot up at the startling words of the veteran Vice Captain.

"Complicated, I mean," she continued, "He used to be much more placid and humorous. He's always had some stick up his ass, but he never used to be so distant and hard to reach. I trust that you know about Hinamori?"

Once again, Karin nodded.

Sighing, Rangiku turned to face the young Soul Reaper. Their eyes met and the older one smiled softly. "You weren't around back in those days, the days before he became a true Soul Reaper. When I met him, he was just a young boy at a food stand in the Rukongai. The stand owner was returning him his change when he placed it on the counter instead of in the young boy's hand. Needless to say, I was irritated and addressed the issue immediately. Captain was so small and scrawny that I figured he would break at the mere sign of rudeness. But ever was I wrong…"

"After I had confronted the stand owner, Captain yelled at me, basically telling me that my help wasn't needed and that he was old enough to take care of himself. I reached for his arm, but when he jerked away, I could feel his spirit energy flare up and nearly shock me for a moment as his eyes nearly glowed an icy white, flashing with his anger. All I could do was stand there and watch as he ran away, dumbfounded by the blatant store of spirit pressure in the young boy's body. I was amazed."

"It wasn't hard to find him that night. His spirit pressure flared up again as he had a dream, nearly freezing the entire room around him as he slept. I told him he should become a Soul Reaper, that there was so much power in him that needed to be honed and trained. Not too long after, he joined the Academy, ranking in the top of his class. Graduating in two years, he was immediately recruited into the 13 Court Guard Squads to the 10th Division as the third seat. That was back when your father was Captain of the 10th Squad, though I was still Vice Captain."

Karin sighed softly at this.

"When your father retired to go to the World of the Living, Hitsugaya was given the Captains Exams. He passed with flying colors and was immediately made Captain of the 10th Squad. Everyone was surprised. He was the youngest Soul Reaper to ever be made a captain. Obviously the stress began piling on at a very early start, but despite his young age and inexperience, Captain managed to maintain order and a modicum of respect amongst his troops."

She paused for a short while before reaching out and placing her right hand on Karin's hunched shoulder, "He cares deeply for you, you know that?"

Karin's eyes shot to meet Matsumoto's steel grey ones. Blinking in shock, she gathered her thoughts quickly, though haphazardly, "How…how do you know of this? He hasn't said much to me about it, much less someone else."

Matsumoto's eyes softened at this. Bringing her hand from Karin's shoulder to cup her cheek softly in a maternal sort of way, "I have known Captain for many, many years. I know how to read everything about him now. He tries to hide these things from me, but he doesn't understand just how deep our bond really runs. That was the beauty of our relationship as captain and vice-captain. Trust and understanding came with the territory. It was almost like a filial love in a way. I looked out for him and he returned the favor. Don't worry yourself about his feelings, young Karin. They are certainly there, though they may be hidden underneath that rough, icy exterior somewhere."

Karin sighed softly and closed her eyes. "I don't even know what to think right now. This is all so complicated."

She turned and walked to the window, glaring out at the bridge as her thoughts collided, "He shouldn't have this effect on me! This shouldn't be some constant game of cat and mouse with a part of me I thought dead long ago! It doesn't make any sense…"

The bustier vice-captain's brow creased in contemplation, "What is the matter, Karin? Why is this so hard for you to accept? What happened to you that you couldn't imagine letting yourself fall in love, even though I am pretty sure you already have?"

Karin sighed deeply this time, trying to regain her bearings, "You just don't understand. I'm not like all of those other girls…my long line of relationships, if you can call them that, hasn't really been a walk in the park."

The older woman walked to her side and turned her to face her, "Explain yourself, Karin. This isn't going to get any easier if you hold it all in…"

"Who said anything about this getting any easier?" Karin's eyes flashed in frustration, "Do you think I feel that I deserve this to be any easier? I have done things in my life that would make my long dead mother roll over in her grave. Does that mean that I suddenly deserve to have life easier for me? Yes, I am a Soul Reaper. Yes, I am a young woman in her prime. Yes, I have feelings for my new captain who just happens to be my best friend who just happens to be dead! Doesn't that make things just a tad more complicated and unfixable? What am I supposed to do to make this work, go back to the Living World and kill myself? Doesn't this, like, upset The Order of All Things? The Precious Balance?"

Matsumoto smiled slightly and sighed, "You are just like your brother…only with a bit more sense and a few less obscenities…"

Karin smirked wryly, "I can fix that if you prefer…"

The older Soul Reaper snickered slightly before taking the younger's hand, "Just stop worrying about him. He'll come around. Besides, I have a pretty good idea that after tonight it will be very hard for him to say no to you anymore…"

With that, she winked and headed for the door. Karin was faster though, "Oh no you don't. We DID NOT have sex, before you go telling ever Tom, Dick, and Harry in Seiretei. Just get that through your head before I hear nasty rumors flying."

Matsumoto cocked a brow before opening the door, "Okay, I'll believe you for now…I know something is going on though. It'll come out sooner or later. So don't be surprised when it does…"

Karin sighed deeply before closing the door behind the busty woman. She growled in irritation, "Ugh…the gall…"

Resigning herself to defeat, she walked over to the mirror in an attempt to tidy herself up a bit when she noticed it…

"Well, shit…"

There, rather conspicuously in the junction of her neck was a faint love bite. She nearly burst out laughing at the mere sight of it, all of Matsumoto's taunting finally making sense.

Sighing to herself, she quickly fetched a lemon from the fruit basket, slicing it with her zanpakutou and squeezing the juice onto the forming bruise. She watched as it slowly began to fade just enough to be unnoticeable on her pale skin. "That will have to do…"

She replaced her zanpakutou in its sheath and began to fix her hair up into a French braid but was suddenly interrupted by the faint fluttering of wings. Turning to find the source, there was none other than a small, black Hell Butterfly. "What are you doing here, little thing?" She asked as she held out her finger for it to land on.

As it lighted silently on her index finger, it began to speak in the voice of the Head Captain, "Vice-Captain Karin Kurosaki, your attendance is needed in the main hall at an a emergency Staff meeting. Come at once and have with you your zanpakutou and arm badge. This is of the utmost confidentiality, so tell no one other than your fellow Captains and Vice captains of your destination. Come swiftly and subtly."

At the final words, the butterfly lifted off of her finger and fluttered away into the night through the open window. "Well, I guess that's where I'm going."

She reached over, grabbing her zanpakutou and fastening the thick blood red strap around her torso, allowing the blade to rest against her back. Before she had a chance to exit the room though, the front door burst open and an air of panic filled the air. Quickly running in and slamming the door behind him, her own brother turned to face her, his features twisted in fear and confusion.

With high concern in her eyes, Karin ran to her brother and gripped him by his new captain haori, keeping him from falling over from his disorientation. "What the hell, Ichigo?! You scared the shit out of me! What's going on? You look like hell."

He managed to swallow hard and meet her eyes before replying weakly, "Something's wrong, something's happening to her…"

Karin knitted her brow in confusion. "What are you talking about? What's wrong with who?"

He breathed deeply, "Rukia…something is wrong with her. She's in pain. There's blood everywhere! I ran and notified Captain Unohana, she's with her now. Karin, I don't know what to do. If something happens to her…I…"

Karin reared back and slapped him hard across the face, jolting him from his momentary panic. He stared at her shocked for a moment before understanding dawned on his face. "Thanks…" he murmured, rubbing his reddening cheek.

"Anytime…" Karin replied dryly, "Now what happened to her? You said there was blood and she was in pain…where was the blood coming from? Where did she hurt?"

He paused for a moment before the look of fear graced his face again, "I'm not sure where it was coming from, I just know that she was moaning and yelling for me to get Unohana. She was grabbing at her stomach."

Karin thought for a moment before realization set in. "Fuck… Ichigo, you need to go to the Staff meeting. Tell them why I'm not there. I'm going to be with Rukia. She needs someone right now."

And with that she shoved him out of the door, locking it behind her and turning to run for the 4th Division Hospital Wing. "Wait!" She felt a familiar tug on her hamaka sleeve, "What happened?"

She turned solemnly to face him and looked upon him with sad eyes, "She's having a miscarriage…"

His eyes widened in realization. "Oh my God…this is just like…how did I not see…"

She cut him off, her eyes closing in an attempt to alleviate the pressure weighing on her chest in reverie, "You need to go to the meeting…NOW!"

He jumped slightly at her brash demand, but nodded silently and turned to leave, "Let me know how she is…I'll be there soon…I promise" he said, more for her than Rukia.

Karin stood there for a moment, a solitary tear making it's way down her cheek and said softly, "I know you will be, Ichigo…you always are…"

With that she turned and made the fastest shunpo she had ever made all the way to the 4th Division, throwing the door open to the chaos that was waiting inside…

_**Just breathe...**_


	15. The Nature of Things

A/N: hehehe. I know you are all just dying to know what's going to happen so I won't waste anymore time. Here it is…

Chapter 15: The Nature of Things

_**Just Breath**_…

She had never shunpoed that fast in her life. As she ran to the bed that bore the petite Kuchiki, she nearly sighed in relief to see that the blood flow had lessened a bit. Running her left hand over the trembling Soul Reaper's sweat soaked forehead, she took her small hand in her own slightly larger one, the tension in the air thicker than ever. "Shh…Rukia. It's gonna be okay. You need to relax though. The pain will be over soon. I promise…"

Rukia could do little but breathe sharply and widen her eyes at the sight of the younger girl now grasping her hand in a desperate attempt at consolation and comfort. She nodded her head softly in response as Captain Unohana approached the bed, a forlorn look drawn across her features. She began to speak but was sharply cut off by Karin as the young girl closed her eyes, "Please, Captain Unohana, allow me to do this. I think I understand the situation better than you know. Please…"

The older medic merely nodded her head and sighed, "Of course…take your time. All that's left to happen is to let it run its course. I'll give you some privacy. Let me know if you need assistance for any reason."

With that, the woman left the room, leaving the two Soul Reapers to their solitude.

Karin took a deep breathe and drew the blanket down to help Rukia into some cleaner robes, knowing that the white hamaka she wore now would only fuel the anxiety and fear she now felt as it would continue to be soaked in her blood for a while.

"Come on, talk to me." Karin said, with a small encouraging smile on her face after she had finished the task of getting Rukia cleaned up as best she could.

Rukia's face was sad and tight with unshed tears, "I don't know how this could have happened…I was so careful…we were so careful!" she nearly sobbed out, burying her face in her palms.

Karin reached over and pulled the smaller woman into her arms, folding her small torso into her own warm body as the form shook with sobs and tears that had been held in for far too long in an attempt to appear strong in the presence of her superiors. "Rukia, this is nothing to be ashamed of…this isn't your fault…and even if it is, you didn't do this on purpose!" the younger forced out, breathing away her own sadness.

As the sobs waned slightly, Rukia clutched at the younger girls hakama and sighed, "What went wrong? We were always so careful. We used protection, I was taking elixirs, he was taking elixirs...I just don't understand. What did we do wrong?"

"Sometimes these things just happen...and there is nothing that you could have done differently that would have made this turn out another way..." Karin sighed.

"You knew, didn't you...about us?" The petite girl whimpered out after a few moments of silence, almost in an ashamed manner.

"You could say that...but who didn't?" Karin muttered, trying to lighten the mood.

The smaller woman looked up at her and frowned a bit in confusion, "What are you doing here? You were the last person I expected to see…"

Karin sighed and met her eyes sadly, "Ichi came and found me. I was on the way out to go to a Staff Meeting, but this is more important. I wasn't going to let my future sister-in-law suffer with no one that understood there to hold her hand and help her through this and tell her it wasn't her fault…"

Rukia frown for a moment before her eyes widened in realization, "Oh, Karin, you shouldn't have! This can't be good for you…what with your…"

Karin shushed her, cutting of any further protestation from leaving her mouth, "That's enough. I am here, and I am staying here until this is better. Nothing you can say or do is going to get me to abandon you in your time of need. Don't even act like you aren't happy that someone is here for you. Just accept it…I'm here now."

Rukia sighed softly and turned to look out of the window, "I think it's stopped…"

Karin glanced down at the sheets, "I think you're right. See, I told you it helps to have someone with you…"

Rukia merely nodded, then she shook her head and murmured, "I still can't believe you had the heart to come. This can't be easy for you…"

Karin sighed in return, "No one said that life was gonna be easy. It's my choice, so don't blame yourself or Ichi."

Rukia turned to face her and stated, "Thank you…you don't know how much this means to me…you coming here with your, well…it means a lot."

Karin smiled softly before turning and saying, "No problem…that's what sisters are for, right?"

She stayed and kept the young Kuchiki company for another hour or so until her brother showed up, almost showing a worried face, but barely holding it back. When he saw that she was conscious and even smiling, high visibly relaxed, allowing a small smile to reach the young Kurosaki girl.

Karin took a chance and smiled back, "I have to go see what's going on with Ichi and Toushirou now, I think you'll be fine from here on out. If you need anything don't hesitate to send a Hell Butterfly. Now I leave you in the trusting hands of your brother…"

"Hey, Karin!" Rukia said before the girl could leave, "is there something going on between you and frosty Captain Hitsugaya?"

"Nothing you would be interested to know..," Karin said with a wink squeezing her hand one last time before heading for the door, and refastening her zanpakutou to her back, "I'll be back to check on you tomorrow."

As she began to open the door and leave, Rukia's voice pierced the air, "Oh, and tell Ichigo that everything is going to be okay…"

Karin smiled for real this time and said, "Don't worry, I will…" before she walked out, shutting the door tightly behind her.

As she exited the 4th Division, she walked silently down the path, looking up at the sky as she went. There was a slight chill in the air, she shivered slightly as a frigid breeze passed around her, enveloping her in a cold air. Her dark thoughts didn't help her situation either and she was surrounded by cold. "I thought there was still a while before winter…"

"You've said yourself that things were backwards here. What makes you think that has changed overnight?"

She froze at the sound of the familiar voice behind her, laced with both annoyance and concern. Not even bothering to turn to face him, she walked silently over to the railing of the bridge that she had stopped on, the bridge that divided the 5th and 6th Divisions. She looked silently over the still water beneath her, waiting for him to snap at her for ignoring him, though she didn't intend to irritate him, she was just caught in thought.

She heard a soft sigh from the young captain behind her, feeling his spirit pressure swell slightly, before she felt a soft but firm hand rest on her shoulder. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I realize this is probably not the most appropriate time for jesting. My apologies."

She scoffed softly before letting her eyes fall to the railing, the deep cherry wood lined from age and wear. She ran her fingers over the soft bark, tracing the age lines while replying, "There is nothing to apologize for. I'm not upset because of you. I just don't understand why bad things continually happen to good people…"

She could feel, rather than hear him sigh once more from behind her, his hand tightening ever so slightly with the admission. There was a moment of heavy silence before she heard his soft response, "I never understood it myself. I guess it's just another way that God decides to let us know that we are mere people that have no real control over our fates…I don't think that we will ever truly comprehend why so many things happen. Why is there a Soul Society? Why don't the good souls go straight to Heaven instead of passing through here? Why is it that some souls become Soul Reapers and others are reborn into the World of the Living? I can't answer these questions and I don't think that I ever will be able to. It's just the nature of things…"

Karin was speechless. _What can I say to that_?

"Wow, Toushirou, I never took you to be the deep religious type…"

It was his turn to scoff, "I'm not religious, merely faithful and open-minded. I have always believed in God; even though there are so few here that do, even after spending time here. I'm the damn Heavenly Guardian…how can I NOT believe that there is a God in Heaven?"

Karin smiled softly. This was a side of Toushirou that she had never expected to witness. She had always known that he was a deeply patient and rooted person, but to what depth she had just now seen, and it humbled her. In that moment, there was nothing young about him.

She turned slowly, still smiling, to meet his startling teal orbs; the deep cerulean eyes of the man that she had so passionately acted on just a few hours earlier. The same Soul Reaper that had saved her from a hollow when she was 12 years old and that she had teased so much for his height and appearance. This was no longer Lil' Shiro. This was Toushirou Hitsugaya, Captain of Division 10 of the 13 Court Guard Squads. This was a grown man, not a young, inexperienced teenager like herself…

At that final thought, she felt the pride in him turn to shame and self-loathing, her eyes drifting back to the ground, the smile falling from her face, as she felt a foreign pressure tugging at her forehead that forewarned the onslaught of the emotion that she had no desire to show in front of anyone at the moment. Before Toushirou could react and grab her, she darted off at a lighting fast shunpo for the gates of Seiretei, leaving the white-haired Captain to tail her with all of his sensory skills.

_Was it something I said...?_

**So where will you go…with no one left to save you from yourself…?**

A/N: I apologize once again for the long wait. Halloween weekend is upon us and I though that I would give you a little treat. Sorry it is so short, but it's all that I could finish in the hectic schedule of all things, but the next one should be much longer. If you have any ideas or comments, please leave me a review. I appreciate all of those that are following this story and I am thinking about writing a few one-shots and side-stories to go with this one. You never know… Well, R&R, and let me know what you think. Don't worry; your lemon is coming very soon…as in {in the next few chapters} very soon…teehee…but you have to leave some good review if you want a good lemon…no pressure.


	16. The Point of No Return

A/N: Well, that was a nice little hiatus…though unexpected. Finals ate my lunch… eek! Anyhoo, I am back and I brought a nice juicy chapter with me! And guess what?? It has a lemon in it! Enjoy…don't drool on your keyboard too much.

**Chapter 16: The Point of No Return**

_Was it something I said…?_

He found her right where he knew he would. The raven-haired Soul Reaper that had stolen his heart was now occupying the spot on the top of the sekki-sekki rock that he had always called his own personal hide-out.

Gliding silently and quickly to the spot at the base of the wall, he merely stared up at her dark silhouette swathed in the cold night air. He could see that she was trembling, but whether it was from the cold or the sudden onslaught of unexpected emotions he did not know. He still could not understand what motive she had possessed to just turn and run away. _What did I say? I thought that she seemed almost happy for a moment_…

Finally resolving himself to try to understand the problem, even if he, himself, had caused it, he swiftly hopped upon the spot just beside her on the cool stone. When she made no move to acknowledge his presence, he sighed heavily and attempted to speak, "What happened?"

He was surprised when he received no answer, sure that she would at least lash out at him in anger or scoff and roll her eyes as she usually did. But nothing came from the silent figure residing beside him in the frosty night. Glancing over at her, he noticed that there were still small bloodstains on the white hems of her hakama. Trailing his eyes a bit further he noticed the lines of goose bumps cascading along her forearms, the culprit in the shivering crime.

Not knowing what else to do at the moment, he quickly removed his zanpakuto by its strap and set it gently beside him on the quickly freezing rock. Turning back to the shivering woman, he swiftly removed his Captain's haori, sliding it elegantly from his shoulders. Without another thought, he immediately wrapped the thick, but baby-soft fabric around her trembling form, leaving an arm around her for added warmth.

Still receiving no reaction, but not nearly as surprised this time, he closed his eyes and whispered, "You know, I'm not really great at this whole 'comfort' thing. I'm sorry…"

What happened next startled him more than he had probably ever been startled before. In the time that it took him to take another breath, the young woman beside him had turned quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck, her breath hot on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Then, she breathed more than said, "I don't deserve you…"

His eyes shot open wider than saucers and his breath hitched in his throat for the umpteenth time that night. His arms reflexively wrapped around her tiny waist and he began blinking in an attempt to sort his thoughts. "What…?"

He could feel her exasperation swelling from her. She quickly pulled away and did something that no one had ever dared to do to him before except herself. She reared back and slapped him across his left cheek.

In the aftershock of the moment he could feel the sting of the mistreated flesh swelling slightly, his porcelain skin tinged with an angry pink. He blinked for a moment and slowly raised his hand to touch the abused flesh, almost as if to prove that it was not just a dream.

Before he could protest, anger, or completely freak-out on her, she spoke calmly and precisely. "Now, if you would just listen the first time I wouldn't have to do that. I said that I don't deserve you. I don't feel that I am worthy of calling you mine. You are so many years ahead of me, you have lived two lives, and you are a Captain, a Heavenly Guardian, and a master of your zanpakuto, not to mention a genius. I don't even compare…"

He almost had to refrain from laughing. "Is that what you think? You honestly think that you don't compare…you are dumber than I though."

Her eyes widened and he could see her begin to clench her fist and prepare to hit him again, but he was ready this time and grabbed both of her wrists, pinning them to the stone beneath them. "You are a beautiful, young Soul Reaper with a hellish temper and a thirst for justice. You are my Vice-Captain and you haven't even died yet…you are the legendary Millennial Guardian, my counterpart. But more than all of that you are the one that figured me out, the one that found a way in when no one else could. For that I can give no one else the honor of calling me hers. I would never choose another to give my love to and entrust with my life. One day you will understand…"

Then there was a moment. One of those moments where time stands still and the world disappears because nothing else could possibly matter as much as this does. Aizen could rise from the dead and open an attack on the Seiretei with full armies of Espada and it wouldn't faze either of them. That moment was one where neither needed to speak, but merely to exist?

Before either could register what was occurring his lips were devouring her soft, fresh ones with a hunger that neither had known before. Tongues began to battle for dominance and teeth clashed against each other as the nipped at lips and fought to quench the thirst of their passion. Eyes were fastened tightly shut and noses began to collide in the friction that was threatening to drive them both insane if fruition was not achieved this time.

Hands began to grope aimlessly at faces, necks, shoulders, arms, and other hands. His large, callused ones found their way to the nape of her neck and the curve of her waist while her own soft, tiny ones appeared at his forearm and cheek. As his lips continued to curve against her own, his hands crept to her obi tie, tugging lightly at it to unfasten the light knot allowing the white fabric to fall limply around her hips.

When he lightly parted the thick black fabric of her hakama, his thumbs brushed gently over the soft, warm flesh of her tummy, eliciting a small whimper into his mouth and a tremble. This was all he needed to be completely turned-on and surrender himself to the passion and release that he had desired for so long. Wasting no time he untied the tie of her hakama pants and tugged them loose, the fabric pooling at her knees on the cold stone. "Let's take this to solid ground, shall we?" he said more than asked, grabbing her by the waist and throwing their bodies off of the wall, landing gracefully on the soft dirt beneath them.

At this point her clothing was hanging, barely fastened to her own body, but that didn't matter to him as he scooped her into his arms and shunpo-ed to the small garden that was located behind his residence. Not even bothering to move, he thrust her feet to the ground sliding her hakama pants from her knees to pool at their feet. Kicking them to the side, he began to devour her mouth once again, tongues dueling a battle that none could compete with.

Her hands found the ties of his hakama and swiftly unfastened them, sliding the top from his shoulders and letting it fall behind him on the wet grass. Her fingers began to trace, once again, the contours of his tightly defined muscles and ribcage, memorizing them with her touch.

The sensation drove him absolutely nuts and caused him to become almost animalistic. He let out what sounded like a mix between a growl and a moan before grabbing the neck of her sports bra and literally ripping it from her body, the seams at the shoulders coming undone with an audible '_rip_.'

He wasted no time suckling on the juncture of her neck and shoulder, creating sensations in both of their bodies that could not be explained. Then, out of nowhere, as if God had tried to extinguish a fire before it happened, hard, cold rain began to fall in the Seiretei…

They paused for only a moment to shiver from the sudden temperature change and exhilaration before returning, as if uninterrupted, to their ministrations.

As the water began to course down both of their hot bodies, it only succeeded in creating a surface that frustratingly held no friction. His hand slowly and torturously made its way to her warm, wet, supple left breast, massaging it gently in his palm while his other hand reached for her hip. She let out a strangled moan and bit down on his shoulder. This only fueled his need more and moved him to grab both of her hips and lift her into the air, wrapping her legs around his own hips and bringing her to the perfect level to remove his hand on her breath and replace it with his mouth, gently nipping and sucking at the swollen, sensitive flesh. Rolling his tongue over the tight bud, he evoked a sharp cry from the trembling woman wrapped around him.

Stumbling across his walkway, he slammed his door open, thankful that he had sent his servants away for the weekend. Entering his home and kicking the door shut behind him, he tripped, slamming her back into the wall, further lodging her breast in his mouth, but also pressing her body firmly against the now fully erect member. Eliciting a deep moan, he pulled away to run his hands over her chest and stomach, palming and stroking everything in their path while suckling her earlobe and receiving a pair of dull nails scraping down his own back hard enough to leave red lines.

The ecstasy that coursed through his body was bordering on the insane and he was crawling dangerously close to falling over the edge of reason and entering into a territory that reached the point of no return. Their rain-soaked, shivering bodies were pressed against one another, their torsos connecting as cool flesh met it's partner in an elicit love dance. She was also fast losing her battle with sanity and crossing into the forbidden realm of explicit excitement and attachment.

In a final moment of conscious thought, Toushirou detached himself and met those hard obsidian eyes that he had grown to love. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

This time there was the fateful eye-roll, "Fuck, 'Shiro, don't make me think about that right now! I wouldn't still be here if I wasn't willing to let you fuck me senseless…"

He was shocked at her tone, but somehow it succeeded in turning him on further, if possible, and awakening the dragon dwelling within his icy exterior. With another throaty growl, he attacked her mouth again and slipped his right hand down the back of her black 'hipster' boy-shorts. Her ass was cold, wet, and tight in his hand as he caressed the smooth flesh where it connected to the back of her thigh.

She was writhing softly in his strong grip, his left fingers flicking over the tight bud of her right breast. Shockwaves were coursing through both of their bodies and they knew this wasn't going to be able to go on for very much longer. So, in realization of her intentions, Toushirou lifted her hips once more and allowed her feet to touch the ground just long enough to slip her shorts off and glance down at her naked figure before him. _She's fucking stunning_…

After tearing his eyes from her figure, he unfastened his hakama pants tie and allowed them to fall to the wicker floor, his emerald boxers glimmering in what little moonlight reached their soaked silhouettes in the onslaught of hammering rain and darkness of midnight. The darkness was welcome though. Neither needed to really see the other, for their hands were quite content to do the mapping and discovering. The small amount of light that the oil lamp across the room emitted was just enough to make out outlines and a dim image of wavy detail and just enough to make their blood run crazy.

Before he knew what to do next, the little hellion he held in his arms had ripped the boxers from his body and taken a hold of his now weeping member, stiff and painfully aroused in her wet palm. His body tightened and he gasped slightly as he ran a hand through her wet hair and his other hand toyed with her inner thighs. He moaned into her mouth as his body traitorously ground against her pumping hand.

She noticed his shaky composure and decided that he was nearing his end. She needed to stop with the foreplay and allow him to take over. "Take me…" she whispered into his ear wantonly.

That was all he needed to hear to send him spiraling over into that land of no return. He embraced it and grabbing her hips, lifted her back into the air, and in one fluid movement, he sheathed himself inside of her. It happened so fast that she didn't even have time to wrap her legs around his hips and was left to just hang there for a moment, suspended in time. His bruising grip on her hips and the leverage of her back against the wall were the only things keeping her from falling to the floor into a crumbled heap. She had no choice but to trust in his care and his strength. But that wasn't a real issue at the moment seeing that coherent thought had long since left this room.

She writhed and moaned against him, attempting to get her legs around his body, but she was so caught up in the feeling that she couldn't seem to get her body to respond to her impulses. His mouth was once again on her neck and his arms were hooked under her arms, his hand splayed and pressed firmly against the wicker walls behind Karin's back, supporting and creating leverage. His forehead found purchase at her shoulder and he caught a deep breath before pulling out slowly until only the tip was still sheathed inside. As he exhaled, he plunged back in forcefully and let out a low groan of satisfaction.

Whimpers of both pain and pleasure echoed throughout the room. Moans, groans, whimpers, gasps, growls, cries, grunts…Noises that cannot be recreated on request. Their breathing sped up with every thrust, pull, and bounce of their hips against one another. The force was becoming so much that he was literally thrusting her into the air and allowing her body to fall back down, impaling itself on his rock-hard erection.

He was getting close. She could see it in everything that he did: the way his body tensed with every thrust, the small whimpers that were beginning to slip from his lips when he fully sheathed himself, the trembling in his arms and legs, the ragged sounds of his breath increasing…

What she hadn't expected was the feeling of heat pooling in her own groin, threatening to take her over. "A little harder…" she whined.

He acquiesced, thrusting with wild abandon into her white-hot heat. The feeling of her enveloping in her moisture was intoxicating and he was quickly falling over the edge. This was it…the moment were he saw the white spots dance across his vision, blinding him to the world and all around him…all but the amazing sensations. Then it happened.

His body stiffened and he let out a strangled cry that echoed throughout the entire house, his seed being emptied into the depths of her womb. And it was at that moment that she also gave out a shaky groan and tightened around his pulsing length, milking him to completion.

Then it was over and there was silence.

Silence so thick that you have to wonder what was the meaning behind it.

Then, there were no words, but mere breathing and they sank to a pile on the floor. Toushirou resting on his knees, still lightly pulsing inside of Karin who was still wrapped around him, her back resting against the wall. Then, her legs fell limp to the side as he laid her tired form on the floor and knelt over her. He remained inside her, not wanting to break apart, because in the moment of completion something had happened. Their minds had merged and a giant burst of spirit energy had been released, much more powerful than the last time.

That is when he realized… _Karin_…?

**'**_**Shiro…? What the hell is going on**_**…? **

_I think our minds merged…_

_**Oh, good. I wasn't dreaming it…Wait! Is that bad?**_

With that he rested his forehead on her sternum and breathed into the small patch of skin between her naked breasts. _Uh..NO!..It's okay…this is normal. But it's not a 'normal' situation. The only time this happens is when two Soul Reapers merge together and…_

_**Wait…What do you mean…?**_

_We'll talk about it later._

Then there was silence…

_**FUCK**_!

What!?

_**Nothing…we'll talk about it another time.**_

_Ugh…whatever…_

_**Here I go again…**_

_Wait...What??_

_**Nevermind…that's another conversation…preferably in real voices too.**_

Groaning, she tried to roll over before realizing that he was still inside her. Reaching down, she grasped the hilt of him and slowly pulled him out. He hissed at the sensation, but didn't complain. Once he was out, she rolled over onto her side and pushed her upper body off the floor. Glancing around the room, she noticed a blanket on the chair to her right. Grabbing it, she wrapped it around her and tossed him the smaller blanket to wrap around his waist. "I am surprised you have these, seeing as you don't seem to be the type to just get cold…"

He snickered slightly, "They're for Matsumoto when she comes in and naps when I allow her too. I'd much rather her be locked in here from the outside than have her flouncing about in a drunken state embarrassing my division."

Karin smiled softly then sobered once again, "We need to talk, I'm guessing…"

Toushirou did nothing but nod as he began to hear the sound of the rain pounding mercilessly on the roof once again…"Nah."

And with that, they moved to the grey suede couch. Karin grabbed his blanket from around his waist, tossing it away and wrapping them both in her larger blanket, heated skin upon heated skin. "I like it much better this way."

A/N: So….how was that? Was it what you hoped for? I'm guessing I left you hanging and thoroughly confused. If not then don't ruin it for everyone by guessing in a review. You will see in the next chapter…R&R!!!


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